Category Archives: Big Piece of Cake

Bald Ponies and Darwin’s Parallel Universe

Toys, books, clothes, brands…the “kid” market has seen epic growth in the past 50+ years. And during that time people have made entire careers in research, test marketing and quality control for all of those products and services.

So you would think that they would be pretty good at this by now. That they could identify mistakes and problems that would be immediately obvious to the parents who are buying this stuff.

And for the most part they are. But I tend to think they’re a little too busy arguing over exactly how many eye slants should be available for a Mii or whether the clasp on the American Girl doll’s Kelly bag truly replicates the original. Because sometimes the less subtle details slip through the cracks…

OR maybe it’s just getting what you pay for. The good people at Nintento and American Girl are probably hiring all of the best “talent” and the less sexy jobs are filled with mediocre professionals who don’t care enough to bring their A game to the drafting board.

This would explain some rather disturbing things that I’ve found in our toy box lately.


First – the cheap My Little Ponies that I recently bought for Eleanor (you know how she loves her Ponies). These mini-sized versions are more novelty item than toy and don’t include the luxurious magenta manes that make the original ponies so beloved by little girls all over the world. Instead, they are 100% plastic. Kind of like My Little Pony action figures.


They look pretty normal right? Well – that’s what I thought until the boys got hold of them and proceeded to snap off their manes.

But here is the disturbing part: the ponies aren’t broken. The pony hair seems to be removable. It snaps right back on.

So then I thought it might be a mix and match manes thing… Not so much. The manes are pony-specific. So what does this mean? Why is that fun? How does removable hair figure into play? Do little girls play “Pinkie Pie goes goes to her chemo treatment?” Chemo ponies don’t seem like a big seller to me…

Joking aside – it’s just cheap construction. Probably involving sweat shop labor in a third world country.

What bothers me more is a disturbing trend I’ve found in some children’s literature. We have at least two books that turn Darwin’s survival of the fittest theory on its head.

Now, I understand that if you are going to read books about animals who walk, talk, wear clothes, go to school and live in houses with central air, you have to exercise some suspension of disbelief. But I also think that the writers should be somewhat responsible about it.

If a children’s book author decides to “go there,” then I honestly believe that they should be thorough and consider the implications attached to everything from turns of phrase to illustration details. Sadly, it seems that poor choices and flat out hack writing prevail.

Two books in particular keep me up at night. One of which is The True Francine by Marc Brown.


Those of you with children who watch (or those of you who are young enough to remember watching) Arthur, the popular children’s show may be familiar with this series and the characters in it – all of whom are animals.

I won’t even get into how they live in the same community yet manage to maintain all bunny/all monkey/all mouse/etc. families without any inter-species marriages, because my head might explode. But I will say that this 28 page book manages to contain two instances of text that any child might call into question.

The first is ridiculous. Look at this group walking to school, discussing the teachers they might get:


All animals right? So are the teachers you see them imagining in those thought clouds. But then Buster (a bunny) makes this joke:

‘He sleeps in a coffin,’ said Buster, ‘and drinks human blood.’

HUMAN blood. Does this mean that the word “human” can be interpreted as referring to all sentient creatures, or that there are human farms on the outskirts of town and the animal kids are concerned with “human” rights?

THEN, we learn that Muffy (a monkey) who is teacher’s pet tells Mr. Ratburn that “the cat ate her homework.”



I wonder what Sue Ellen thinks of that…


There is also a strange mention of Francine’s pet gerbil, but I think that’s enough about this anthropological nightmare.

The other book is one from Rosemary Wells’ Max and Ruby series:

Excuse the ripped off cover – I live with several very enthusiastic page turners.

This one takes a different approach to animal characters by asking us to assume that only bunnies made the Darwinian leap. And there are plenty of birds, frogs, and other small garden animals wandering around to add weight to that.

But in both the books and the animated series, we see a creepy assortment of human dolls in the bunny house.



Every time I read Max Cleans Up, I’m struck by this anomaly and wonder where the real humans are. Obviously, they exist for the bunnies to use them as models for their dolls, but they don’t actually appear in living form.

Is this some kind of Planet of the Apes thing where humans are a slave race and maybe Max and Ruby are too poor to afford one of their own? I think not since there are plenty of scenes outside of their home, and you would expect to see some hulking humanoids doing manual labor or carrying bags for their bunny masters.

The other possibility is that the human race is extinct, yet cherished in cuddly form by bunny children, much in the same way our human children love dinosaurs. Either way – the issue is not addressed. Am I the only one who finds this weird?

Most other mothers I talk to are more concerned by the lack of parents in the Max and Ruby household and the fact that young Ruby is single-handedly raising her little brother with only sporadic help from a loving, yet somewhat dotty grandmother. In fact I’ve read two posts on this subject so I think that it has been adequately covered.

Ultimately – it comes down to editing. And there is an obvious breakdown in the system here. Bald ponies are a risk you run when you buy cheap plastic toys, but one would think that publishing companies would have a bit more integrity.

So you can add another concern to the list of disturbing things our children are viewing. Step aside guns, there’s a new threat in town. Evolution is the new violence.

I Love a Good Dance Number

I have been slacking on this site for all of my rock star-ness on my others… BUT I did write a real post this week. It will be on DC Metro Moms next week though.

I didn’t get around to any fiction either – mainly because I have to really think about the part that comes next. It’s based on something real so I have to do a little research to refresh my memory.

So today I’m just posting something that makes me happy. I finally saw 500 Days of Summer yesterday (typical – I’m very often late to the party when it comes to movies) and I loved this scene that takes place right after he “gets the girl.”

The only thing that bothers me about this clip is that it seems to be shortened. I know that there was a part when he looks in a mirror and sees Han Solo looking back at him. I thought that was genius. I’ve had a few of those moments myself. But maybe not the Han Solo part. I wouldn’t say Princess Leia either…maybe Kelly from Charlie’s Angels. Because she was just as bad ass as she was pretty.

Have a great weekend!

Pearls of Wisdom

One of the things we all do when we become parents is dream about what the future holds for our children. We think about who they are going to be. Or more accurately – who we want them to be.

Every night when I was pregnant with my first baby, I thought about all of the qualities that I wished for him. I wished for kindness and generosity. For self confidence and intelligence. For humor and charisma. For talent and creativity. And happiness.

Then he was born and I just wanted him to sleep.

But in my heart, all of those wishes lived on – and still do. And I tried to do the same for my other children. I had the same hopes for my twins, though a bit less focused.

By the time I was pregnant again, my first child was still a stinky sleeper, and I tended to pass out the minute my head hit the pillow. So there were no thoughtful lists chanted nightly for the twins and their own triumphs of character.

It was then that I gave myself license to tuck those dreams in a pocket where I knew they would be kept warm and alive. Even if I couldn’t recite them by rote. Maybe if I wanted them enough, they would be imprinted in all of my intentions, and it none would go astray. It would be a string of pearls that would never break.

And I think it has been. They’re all still there, permanently knotted on the strongest of fibers – gleaming in the shadows of my pocket. I don’t need to memorize what is in my heart.

It’s been over three years since the last of my babies were born, and I’m now starting to see glimpses of my dreams in their eyes. I smell them in the soft scent that no longer whispers baby. And I feel them in the squeeze of small fingers around my own.

They are becoming people.

And as much as I frequently cup my precious wishes in my palm, I know that it’s out of my hands. I can’t keep my children in a pocket. They have to decide who they are going to be, and it seems that starts as early as…well, now.

It would be so easy to label them. He’s the sweet one. She’s the feisty one. He’s the gentle one. But they change daily – sometimes to my liking and sometimes not.

But you always loved to paint. Where is my little artist?

What do you mean you won’t wear the pretty dress? Dresses are your favorite.

Since when did you stop liking Barney? Nevermind – that’s fine, thanks.

In these small ways, they assert their growing personalities. They try them on like scraps from a dress up box. Cherished one moment – then dismissively discarded. Thoughtless. Artless. Fickle. And free.

But we have our favorites and sometimes we interfere. Put on the pink one – it’s your best color. For all of our good intentions and pride, we so often try to box our children into neatly labeled cubby holes…the nice one…the pretty one…the smart one… And we even do it to each other as adults. Maybe that’s where we learn it – from our own parents. The circle of life. The beat goes on.

And maybe that’s fine. Perhaps it’s necessary to be guided to our strengths. But that’s some power we parents have. And Power is never far from its evil twin, Responsibility.

I honestly do think that as I provide that necessary guidance to my children, I’m just as responsible for following their lead. And protecting their right to choose.

It used to drive me crazy when people would label my twins. She’s the sweet one and he’s the character. Or to assume that my oldest was supposed to suddenly be a mini man at 18 months just for the fact that he’s an older brother.

My daughter has proven everyone wrong. She was the sweet one. She was the quiet one who was often ignored while her twin brother writhed and screamed with reflux pain. I like to imagine that placid little baby getting miffed. The squeaky wheel indeed!

She didn’t stay angelic for long. She is the larger than life child. She sings and dances through the day. She demands her due with a jazz hands finish. But just like that little girl with the little curl, when she is good she is very, very good, but when she is bad… She stomps her feet, hands planted firmly on hips. Her “YES I can!” is less self affirming call to action than blood thirsty battle cry. She is fierce.

But I envy her.

And don’t we all? Don’t we all look at our children and envy their potential. Their bright, shiny newness. Their quicksilver ability to morph into anything they want to be.

I want to foster that. Sure I have to say no sometimes. I have to be firm. But I don’t want to take that ferocity away from her. Especially when I so often wish that I had it myself.

My cousin was apparently much like my daughter at that age, and my mother remembers some good advice that was given to my aunt and uncle. The grandfather who was well known for his “spare the rod, spoil the child” attitude about discipline shocked everyone by warning, “just don’t break her.“

Pretty wise if you ask me. And I would say that same advice transcends its original subject. I don’t want to break any of my children of their ferocity or their quirks. As inconvenient as these traits may be for me – it’s my responsibility to protect their individuality.

I was reminded of my string of wishes recently when my grandmother passed away. She left Eleanor a pearl necklace that had once belonged to her own daughter. It was old and fragile and in need of some refurbishing. And when Eleanor is old enough I will have it restrung for her. Like a mother’s dreams for her children, the necklace will be passed on with love.

Everyday, I wrap my own dreams and wishes around my children. But in the end, it’s their choice how to wear them.

I’m a Fashion Designer!

Well – not really… But if I was a little girl – you’d totally be patting me on the back and telling me that I have a very bright future ahead of me at Fasion Week.


How fun is this?

Fashion Playtes contacted me recently about their super cool new design service for girls.

It’s a virtual design studio that helps young girls design and produce their own custom clothing. They can play fashion designer – but for real!


I thought it looked like so much fun that I set up an account and designed myself a t-shirt (oh yes I did!)

Visit me at As Good As Cake to see the full story.

*Just in case you were wondering – this wasn’t a sponsored review. I just thought it was adorable.

Textile Obsessions

One of the first things customers notice about Style Key West is the color. This happens rather organically since the shop displays are designed with that purpose in mind. But it’s really acheived through far more involved planning than the effortless appearance would let on. One of the more subtle elements involved is the thought put into the selection of fabrics and upholsteries. This is where many people get a little lost and it’s one of the primary reasons that they end up hiring decorators.


While I was growing up, my mother always seemed to be working on home design projects, whether professionally for clients or just for our own house. So there was a constant clutter of swatches and samples either spread out on tables or tucked away in shelves.


Visit me at Style Key West to read the rest.

Friday Fiction: A Touch of Yellow

Last week, Ivy’s mother Ellen gave up her macrobiotic diet – but stumbled into Yes! Bookstore (if you read Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and think that sounds familiar – it’s actually a real DC bookstore – or at least was…I’d like to think it’s still there).

Want to catch up? You can do so HERE.

Color had been a driving force in Ellen’s life for as long as she could remember. As a little girl, she had several favorite colors and found herself completely flummoxed when asked to declare only one.

What’s your favorite color? wasn’t just an innocent attempt at conversation from a well meaning grownup. To Ellen, it presented a staggering conundrum.

How could she say “yellow,” when it was specifically pale yellow that made her feel light inside? Especially when pale yellow was really best experienced when paired with various shades of blue, ranging from a delicate powder to a punchier robin’s egg. And on top of that, she liked different combinations for different purposes. The brighter blues were definitely better choices for clothing (pastels did nothing for her complexion), but for interiors, she preferred less saturated shades. All of which was nearly impossible to convey since she experienced these preferences as feelings and not intellectual observations.

In the end she usually just said “pink,” which seemed to please her inquisitor. But she always felt like a bit of a sell out.

Eventually, it all began to make more sense as she grew older. First, she learned to sew her own clothes which opened up a new world of creative expression. Later, when she had her first apartment, she was able to experiment with decorating. And it was then that her true life passion was born.

Decorating wasn’t just a hobby for her. It was a lifestyle. She liked nothing better than to hunt through dusty antique shops (to use a term as loose as her budget was tight), and make another family’s discarded furniture her own with paint and varnish.

After a number of years and various affairs with the ever changing color trends, she found herself right back where she started. And everywhere she lived, she based her decor on a color palette of pale yellow and various shades of blue.

This intuitive connection to color and its place in her world wasn’t something that Ellen had ever discussed before since very few of her friends or family members thought beyond perfunctory decorating. So the new people she met in fabric stores and furniture shops seemed like long lost relatives who shared her DNA. And instead of startling her with faces bearing her own nose or eyes, they delighted her with their mirrored ardor for chinoiserie or chenille.

She had no idea that such a world existed. And she promised herself that she would try to infuse her future children’s world with the beauty so often missing in her own childhood home.

Her sweet mother tiptoed through life, leaving her lovely mark on only the smallest corners that she claimed for herself. Ellen sensed this before she really noticed it, and when she was old enough to start finding similarities in herself, she vowed that she would do things differently. Luckily, Carl appreciated her style and allowed her to have free reign in all aspects of homemaking. As long as she was able to make room for the treasures he collected in his brief but defining world travels, he wasn’t overly concerned with paint colors and upholstery.

Ellen suspected that she gained many points in her favor early on by offhandedly professing an apathy for the ubiquitous pink typically attached to feminine style. Carl wouldn’t have appreciated a pink house.

Their first home was the apartment that Carl had lived in while they were dating, so there was only so much she could do in the way of updates before it was time for them to move. Then they bought their little house in in the suburbs where finally, Ellen was able to start from scratch. No more white rented walls – she could do anything she wanted without a single thought about security deposits. It was thrilling.

Even when she was pregnant, as she very quickly was, she continued to paint rooms and sew curtains. She mixed her older refurbished furniture with the new pieces they bought, and decided to call her style eclectic. They never had unlimited funds for decorating, but they spent what could – and Ellen loved her husband for sharing her priorities. Or at least allowing her them.

Eventually, she created a kind of business out of this hobby and made a little extra money decorating rooms for various friends and friends of friends. Carl claimed that he never saw a dime of it in their bank account since she immediately put everything she earned right back into one of her ongoing home projects. But he was proud of her. And he was proud of their home.

When friends came to visit, they were inevitably taken on a tour to see the changes. And since changes were a constant, it was a long held belief of Ivy’s that when people came to visit you were supposed to show them around. She always found it strange when she would go to a play date and never even see the master bedroom.

As most girls do, Ivy absorbed her mother’s sensibilities over the years and cultivated her own tendency to find definition in personal surroundings. Much to Ellen’s chagrin, this included a pink and ruffles phase most likely influenced by her friends. But she would always encourage her daughter’s forays into style development, regardless of how it conflicted with her own taste.

There was one moment in which Ellen took great solace no matter how horrifying Ivy’s latest Barbie-hued passion might be. She often had to bring her children to decorating consultations, and on one such afternoon, her three year old daughter interrupted a rather spirited textile discussion with words that nearly knocked Ellen right out of her chair. As if in response to the client’s hesitation at using a butter colored Brunshwig & Fils linen for accent pillows in her darkly masculine living room, Ivy looked up from a Sleeping Beauty coloring book and made the astute observation that “every room needs a touch of yellow.”

After this, Ellen rarely worried over her daughter’s penchant for over the top frills. Such brilliance at such a young age surely augured for bigger and better things.

I hadn’t planned on a home decor tangent (and I never did get to YES! Bookstore)…but I guess I’ve been really focused on the work I’m doing for my parents and Style Key West and my own little Wishing True blog. But that’s the way I’m doing this this – stream of consciousness writing. I guess it’s good practice for context writing. Tune in next week for a full description of Ellen’s textile obsessions. Just kidding! (hopefully)

Oh the weather outside is frightful…

…aaaaand that just about sums it up (we don’t have a fireplace to find delightful – damn 1970s townhouse architects).

Honestly – I do love snow. I do! I love seasons. Really! I’m always the first one to say that I’ll suffer through a couple of freezing, sleeting months if I can experience autumn leaves and pink cherry blossoms and yes – sparkling white snow blanketing the neighborhood. I wouldn’t say that I’m a Winter fanatic, but I find snow lovely and cozy. And the snow we had right before Christmas this year was downright festive.

I really couldn’t imagine living somewhere without seasons.

When I visited Chris’ family in Arizona for the first time and listened to their friends exclaim about not being able to survive our East Coast Winters I thought, “yeah, well you enjoy that ‘but it’s a dry heat‘ holiday season – I’d rather revel in wool sweaters and sip hot cocoa after an invigorating walk through freshly fallen snow.

But that’s easy for me to say since here in DC, we get maybe one or two big snowfalls per year. We’re not usually buried in snow for almost two weeks.

And as I go through photos I’ve taken over the past week, I can feel my attitude changing.

So I present to you a brief travelogue of our journey through the past week’s snow festival:

1/31

Yeah! Snow! Let’s go sledding!



Or perhaps a snowball fight?



Thank you Oliver for being the second Hood child to break a camera. Eleanor – You’re up!

2/5

Can you believe it’s snowing again? And the camera didn’t break – so we can take MORE pictures!




Nice hat.

2/6

When is it going to stop snowing? Our children are disappearing into the drifts…



2/7

All I have to say is Winter Wonderland. Behold the majesty.




And behold my son who can’t feel the cold. Actually, he can feel the cold – he just has his priorities.




2/10

The snow is starting to get old…yet Oliver still insists on going outside fifty times a day (okay – more like five but when you’re slowly going insane from not being able to leave your house, you start to exaggerate). Where is everyone else anyway?

Eleanor is sick


And cultivating some really crazy bedhead


Chris is cooking (and apparently drinking…)


Kate is taking pictures since she doesn’t like to have her unshowered in pajamas look documented, and George is melting down from cabin fever.


2/11

Giant icicles have started falling from the roofs.


Where are the news reports about widespread impalings?

2/12

Today the furnace stopped working. Yeah – more sweaters! So festive…

2/13

The furnace has been fixed, but now the dining room lights and kitchen outlets aren’t working. Weather related? Or the result of Chris’ roiling psychic energy?

2/15


Losing track of the days…it’s started snowing again…I’d like to say that I’m not baking yet another batch of cookies because of the weight I’ve gained while house bound. But the truth is, I’ve run out of chocolate chips.

Day 13 of Snow Prison: We have come to accept that help is not coming. Survival now rests on our own shoulders. Provisions are running out and morale is low. Straws were drawn for a volunteer to venture out in search of food. As the snow falls steadily and the temperatures drop, we try not to wonder when it will end. The waiting is the hardest. But that is all that is left for us now. To wait. And hope.

To all of my other snowbound comrades: Stay warm!

To all of you smirky warm weather residents: Suck it!

Friday Fiction: Fatalism with a Feel Good Ending

Back to being consistent…more fiction on Friday!

Last week, I introduced Ivy’s mother Ellen. Want to catch up? You can do so HERE.

The concept was very simple – and she could even satisfy Carl at meals by adding a sauce or some meat to his plate. But the big problem was that she kind of hated it. Sure, those 20 pounds she lost were a testament to the diet’s effectiveness – but Ellen missed butter. And white flour. And sugar. And especially all three combined.

So about a month after their move to DC, she threw in the towel and booked a table at Nora’s. And she ate every piece of bread in the basket.

Well, at least it was organic…

The move from their New York suburb, while exciting, was incredibly stressful. And as a lifelong stress eater, Ellen felt the pinch. But after maintaining that level of discipline for so long, she also felt pretty accomplished. So her inability to continue seemed less like a failure than an unexpected breakthrough. In fact, as far as her previous diet history went – it was a triumph. But one that she couldn’t reasonably continue. Even the most daring of sky divers has to come back to earth.

Shortly after the end of her food exile, she found herself in need of a new means of self actualization. And that’s when discovered Yes! Bookstore and Color Magic.

Oliver isn’t allowing me to type for more than five minutes at a time – so I’m going to have to stop there. Damn snow days… Check back next Friday for more.