I need to stop telling people that my three year old is potty trained. Because without fail, he will have an accident within an hour of my boast. He doesn’t even have to be present to hear me say it. He just knows. And then he has to show me how very wrong I am. As a result – I have a hard time trusting him when he tells me that he doesn’t have to “go pee pee.” I have to actually check to see if he’s wet. So in effect, I’m constantly grabbing his crotch. Obviously I have my reasons (to check for pee pee), but I can’t imagine what sort of message this is sending him. I have to try to back off a little since I worry that it may have long term effects on his personality. He could grow up to be an incredibly skittish person…or just have no sense of boundaries.
I also wonder if it’s normal for him to like being naked so much. He’s always stripping down when we’re at home (but not out in public thank god), and I’m lucky if I can get him to keep his underwear on. I really hope that grows out of this. I don’t want him to be “the naked guy” when he’s in college. You know that guy – he can be out at a bar, at a party, just hanging out at his apartment – and somehow by the end of the night, he’s naked. And of course, it’s really funny at the time, “hey – look Oliver’s naked again…Oh don’t mind him, that’s just Oliver. He’s always naked…” Or even better – he’ll be thirty years old, and at a party, and out of nowhere he’ll whip off his clothes and try to get everyone to go streaking with him. And he’ll interrupt Snoop Dog’s performance to announce that everyone is going streaking and to follow him. And then his wife will pull up next to him in her SUV and demand to know why he’s running around in nothing but his sneakers. And he’ll realize that he’s the only one streaking, and get into the car. And then he’ll embarrass his wife by mooning her friends and asking if she thinks KFC is still open. I just don’t see any good coming of this…
And in addition to being naked all the time, he is very handsy. You are probably thinking that he gets this from me with all of my crotch grabbing – but that’s not what I mean. He literally cannot keep his hands to himself. Or his feet. If he is sitting on the floor and you are walking by, you can pretty much guarantee that he is going to try to attach himself to your leg – like a husky baby octopus. I’ve already mentioned that he is freakishly strong. This means that when he does decide to wrestle with you, it’s next to impossible to shake him off. I don’t know how many times I’ve crouched down to pick something up off the floor, only to find that I can’t get back up with the weight of a 50 lb. three year old clinging to my back. I can try to lean from side to side in hopes that he’ll lose his hold – but he’s tenacious. For the most part, all I can do is use all of my strength to stand up so that I can use my arms to peel him off. Of course now his brother and sister have gotten into the act, so I’m usually trying to stand up with Oliver on my back and George and Eleanor on either arm. So I now have to execute this feat supporting approximately 100 lbs. of child. It’s very challenging, and I often think we must look like some bizarre Cirque de Soleil performance.
But I suppose some of his “quirks” could be useful later in life. Maybe his lack of inhibitions will translate into a healthy self confidence. At the very least, “naked guy” was always pretty popular. And physical contact is a good thing! We should feel comfortable with giving and receiving physical affection (even if it’s in a Lenny from Of Mice and Men kind of way…). Nakedness and affection are both perfectly normal, natural things – that I hope to god he never decides to combine while in polite company. Especially not if he has to go pee pee.
I laughed through the whole post. =] So many common points.
my 3 yr old strips down the second she’s in the door. she also weighs in at a hefty 43 lbs. I just told someone yesterday (very proudly) that yes, Carlise is fully potty trained. And then she peed on the floor of the bathroom.
Can you hear me smacking my head against the wall?
That was funny!
My little sister was always naked. Now she is very modest. At least as far as I know she is.
My four year old does the smae thing he is always naked. Loves it and hates underpants. I think its a kid thing
So funny! I have a 17 and 9 yr old and never had to worry about them being naked…I’m so glad!
Ha, Lennie.
And George too…
You’re in trouble if he gets into stroking hair.
OMG! This is LOL funny! I enjoyed this post from beginning to end! I heard the “naked cowboy” in Times Square (New York) is a big tourist draw and makes a ton of money. So if your boy doesn’t outgrow naked he has career options:-)
This is hilarious! You are right, naked guy always had a lot of friends. Not so much in the dining hall. Loved the part about Lenny!
Cute post. Love the Cirque de Soleil reference! We often refer to our family as training for “Cirque de Soleil”. I actually run and jump while in a pose and my husband catches me. The kids are all over us too. We keep our clothes on though ;)
You’re adorable.
That was hilarious! My favorite post so far today.
Love the Old School reference. We have a “naked guy” in my little group of friends. He’s my favorite husband in the bunch and it’s even funnier since his wife is a very conservative school teacher.
He sounds like a normal boy to me. Your post reminded me of a very old Dennis the Menace cartoon strip. In the fist panel you see Dennis’ mother holding a small pair of jeans and shouting through a doorway “Are you running around down there without your pants?” In the second panel we see Dennis come up behind her, sans pants, and say “Naw… he’s fixing the furnace.”
HA!
Sounds pretty normal. The main difference between kids and adults is that adults have learned to suppress this stuff. But not because they WANT to….
You are too funny. Your boy will be fine. All toddlers are a little quirky and weird.
Toddlers are strange creatures. Too funny. My kids LOVE to be naked too.
You didn’t address their own crotch grabbing. In his first ultrasound picture, RC’s hand was on his crotch. Right then, we knew “boy”.
Maybe they’ll end up at the same college so they can streak together. Such high expectations, we have.
I’m still laughing.
He will NOT be Will Ferrell!
I have the opposite problem with my oldest son in terms of being touchy. His first day of preschool, when the teacher tried to shake his hand he said quiet firmly “I only do that to one person and that’s my daddy!” And that was a HAND SHAKE, don’t even think about having a strange person try to hug him, he’s go nuts on you.
But the teacher has performed some kind of magic spell on him and now apparently he shakes her hand every morning and afternoon when he leaves.
Yep…Ty’s a notorious streaker, too! I think the neighbors must wonder why my child runs around the yard naked all the time! I put clothes on him, but most days, they end up in a pile on the ground and there he goes in all his glory…Oh, and I thought he would realize that it’s just not FUN to go down a slide in the nude, but he found a solution for that too: wet the slide with a hose and he’s down the slide faster than the ground can catch him :o)
(Oh and to previous poster, BOTH my boys were playing with their peters during their ultrasounds…)
What a hilarious account! I can say with certainty that the naked thing is pretty much age appropriate. My three year old can usually be found running out the back door with absolutely nothing on, which horrifies our very conservative neighbors. Even my almost seven year old will strip down to his underwear upon returning home from school. I think they get it from me, though; there are countless photos of me as a child wearing nothing but panties.
Thanks for the laugh!
My youngest daughter loved to be naked too when she was that age. I think its that age. They are so uninhibited. Great story.
He’s just a free spirit, Mom! Thanks for giving me a chuckle!! On a completely different note, please drop by my place today–we’re featuring our regular Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. There are no winners, but it’s a whole lotta fun!
He’ll figure it out soon. They always do!
BTW, got a Great New Giveaway going on over at my place, to commemorate my 100th post–please stop by!
That was hysterical! And it brought back so many memories of when my son was that age. Ver familiar.
Luckily I had my naked 3 year old sons in the 80’s. Not only were they naked ,but this is when they decided that playing with their wee wee was the funnest thing in the world.
Back then, it was legal to threaten them with the “wee wee bugs”
Yes, we actually told them if they were playin’ with that naked thing in public ,that the wee wee bugs would get on them.
Don’t worry , (actually DO ) but ,it only gets worse.
When they’re about 15 , there they are in YOUR shower, with their naked wee wee and a 14 year old girlfriend.
God bless you :)