Today is my 100th post. Considering the fact that I started this blog in late June, that seems to have crept up on me rather quickly… What can I say, I’m an enthusiastic poster. To celebrate this milestone, I decided to devote the next few days to the first posts I ever wrote.
They were written last Winter when The Big Piece of Cake didn’t exist, and my neighborhood friend Tricia, ask me to contribute some guest posts as a mother of twins to her blog, Reston Mom. I enjoyed this so much that after several months spent mustering up the courage, I decided to start my own blog.
This is the first of the three pieces I wrote for Tricia (this first one was broken in to three parts for Reston Mom, so it’s longer than the next two):
Full Hands
Recently, Tricia asked me if I’d be interested in contributing to her blog with some reflections on being the mother of twins plus a first child that was only 18 months old when they were born. This is a question that I get all the time: “So you must really have your hands full – how do you manage?” The answer to this would be that I have no idea. People say, “I just don’t know how you do it,” and I think, “me neither.” As my husband, Chris likes to say, we’re just trying to survive and our only real job right now is to keep the three of them alive.
Now that we’re out of the marathon phase of three-hour feeding schedules for infant twins (including three to four wake up calls each night), I think we can get past survival mode. Newer priorities include herding, refereeing, and keeping anything weapon-like out of reach. They’re not violent children – just very physical. The oldest probably sets the tone by initiating games that tend to involve knocking each other down on the floor and seeing who can hold the others down the longest (and as a 40 lb. two year old that looks like a 4 year old, he has a gross advantage over the other two pee wees combined). Honestly, after about six months of feeling like I ruined Oliver’s life by bringing home not one, but TWO unwanted siblings, I’m just glad that they all seem to like each other.
I just never considered that I might end up with twins. I knew twins and I babysat for twins. I listened to my friends muse that it would be so nice to just have twins the first time around and then be done with pregnancy. But I never had those daydreams myself. I always knew that this would be too much chaos for my orderly existence. When Oliver was born, I couldn’t believe how exhausting and all consuming he was; and I have a very clear memory of saying to Chris, “I don’t know how people have multiples – I just couldn’t do it.” But here we are, and somehow we’re all alive, and I find that I don’t need to have everything in order anymore.
It’s impossible to predict what a weekend day at home with the kids will bring: how many battles of will I can expect, what moods I will encounter when I enter their bedrooms in the morning, who will have a runny nose, or when they will actually start the day (it could be anywhere from 5:00 to 7:30 a.m.). What I do know is that I will have a pile of laundry that will never be completely folded until everyone goes to bed, that I will never get around to that vacuuming that needs to be done and that I will very possibly not even leave the house or put on shoes. But I also know that I will witness a developmental leap in speech or motor skills, I’ll receive innumerable hugs and kisses, both requested and offered, and I will discover yet another amazing skill that I didn’t know I possessed, such as fixing matchbox cars or leaping over hurdles Bionic Woman-style to reach a 2 year old attempting to push his little brother down the stairs (all in good fun of course).
The truth is – everything about my twins was unplanned. I’m one of those controlling types that prefer to keep things logical and organized. I knew for a fact that I wanted a three to four year age difference between my (two) children so that I could get the first one out of diapers, into pre-school and engaged in some kind of intelligible communication before embarking on another round of sleepless nights with a second newborn. Well that didn’t work out. Instead, we ended up with three babies under the age of two, all in diapers, in daycare, and nowhere near the ability to communicate clearly with words.
Life was simple with just one baby. There was always one answer for everything: whatever is best for him. If there was an earthquake and a giant crack opened up in the ground, I could pick him up and run in the other direction. Now I’d need to get the stroller, strap in both twins securely and then convince Oliver to actually hold on to me while I carry him and push the stroller with my free hand. At this point, we’ve all been consumed by the giant crack; and trying to climb out with all three of them is beyond even my disaster planning skills.
I spend less time making future plans now (and forget disaster planning, I can’t even watch movies like War of the Worlds). Instead I focus on the next few weeks, days, hours. I’ve found that no one is on board with my preference for sticking to a plan (not even my husband), so I’ve given up. I just do the best I can to keep things organized and try to be ready for anything. But then – isn’t that the case for all families?
That was an excellent first post! Very true. I never intended to have my kids so close in age either, but now that I am past the newborn phase, I really do enjoy their age difference. And all the chaos it brings:)
I am amazed that you (and your house) can survive. As far as I’m concerned you deserve some sort of medal or combat pay for living through it.
I remember reading those “first” posts on Tricia’s blog. I thought you were a natural at blogging. I’m so glad that you decided to take the plunge! Just look at you now… =)
I loved reading this when you originally wrote it, and found it just as fun the second time around. I’m glad that you started your blog because you introduced me to the entire blogging scene – I find them so fun to read!
Happy 100!
Congrats on your 100th post!
I loved reading about how you managed with 3 little ones. I believe that Mommie have super human strength that becomes available when we need it.
What a great post. Happy 100th. Nice message, you only need to keep them alive today. I know w few people who need to hear that, so if you don’t mind, I’ll pass along this post. :)
Wow! 100 posts already! Great story!!! You are amazing!
Congrats on your 100th! I remember your first posts.
I’m so happy for you and how great your blog has done.
I wish I had done something special for my 100th too but I live through your look back.
Congrats on your 100th post. I’m glad you decided to take the plunge!
I loved reading this. Can you imagine I had twins and then willingly, with eyes wide open decided to have another baby. Even with the possibility that I would have twins again! Ah, but I love having three kids and I promise you, just wait until they are a little older and you’ll start to see some of the benefits that come with twins.
We are planning a trip to Disneyland and I am already stressing about how we will manage rides as a family of five. Any ideas? I think we may have to bring a spare parent. Are you available?
Yes it is life can be crazy insane with kids..but totally worth it..I do not have twins, but I have four kids I deal with teens and tots.. we just go with the flow..no plans either…we fly out of the seat of our pants..when the time allows us to…To make it through a 2 hour movie can take 4 hours..thank the Lord for DVRS and DVD’s :) Happy 100th post!! :)