Chris left early this morning for a nine-day business trip. And I have the hubris to not be worried about this. That’s my Friday confession this week. I am incredibly arrogant about my ability to take care of a three year old and two year old twins all by myself for over a week.
Remember, I work full time and my children go to daycare five days a week. So I don’t have a set schedule for our days, like a stay at home mom* would. And most weekend days, Chris is there to help out. Being at home all day with them may not sound like anything out of the ordinary for a mother – but it’s not the norm for us.
The reason that I’m not all that concerned about it is because I do spend a lot of time alone with them. I get up with them every morning, and on the weekends, I may be alone with them for three hours before my husband gets up. I take them to daycare every weekday and bring them home without any help. Sometimes I have them in bed before Chris gets home from work. It’s not completely out of the realm of possibility that I could just handle everything by myself for nine days.
But.
This will be a long weekend. A four day weekend – and it will NOT be the same as dropping them off at daycare and picking them up by myself. I will be here at home alone with them for four full days. And they are young enough that I can’t take them out by myself unless the twins are trapped in the stroller. As two year olds, they can’t be trusted to stay with me and not run in two different directions. And I can’t count on them to be content to sit in the stroller. In fact, I know they will just shimmy out of their straps and escape (a new trick of theirs). And it’s freezing outside. Far colder than it usually is in DC this time of year. So I can’t let them play out back where they would be safely fenced in. We will spend four full days trying to stay entertained inside with very few activities outside the house.
And I’m not anxious about this. Because I have an incredible talent for dissociation, as well as a strong invincible streak that I never quite lost with age.
I have hubris of classical Greek tragedy proportions (as well as the classical flair for melodrama – at least late at night after a glass of wine or two). And I should be pitied for this because like any other fatal flaw, it will be my undoing.
But I am a survivor. And this will not be the worst challenge I have ever faced. Possibly the most tedious or the most likely to make me want to set my hair on fire and run through my suburban neighborhood begging for someone to put me out of my misery. But not the worst.
At the very least I will arrive at work on Wednesday with fully functioning eyeballs. I’ll just have to remember to hide all of the toga brooches in the house.
*To moms who are at home full time raising their children: Please take no offense to the SAHM label. I am aware that you are not at home all day with the kids. That in fact you spend most of your day racing around running errands and ferrying kids to and from activities. I feel exhausted just thinking about your average day. I’m only using the SAHM term for lack of a better one. Thank you for your understanding.
I’ve taken care of twins by myself so I know how hard that is. I can’t imagine adding a third child! Wow! You deserve a medal!
Could you have a friend come by for a few hours to hang out with you? Even one who brings her kids? Would that help at all?
Good luck!
May the force be with you. No, I know you’ll be fine, there will be some long stretches, but you’ll be fine. You do have chicken nuggets in the house, right?
You are tough! You will do it! I like that you said “trapped in a stroller” instead of “strapped.”
I have no doubt that you’ll be fine. Not as fine as Chris, maybe, but fine.
You have twins, omigod!
I once looked after my godchildren at that age – There were 3 of us in the house with them, and one still managed to get out of the room to the hot oven, while the other had stood on a chair to open the front door to the busy road outside in the seconds it had taken me to choose a video for them to watch!
I’d go with bringing in external help, even childless friends – Select those who WILL be hands-on! Best of luck x
Frankly, leaving the house with kids tires me. A lot. So I do stay home. A lot. And sometimes I just read blogs all day. And I’m okay with it!
:)
Good luck!!!
Twins are a whole new ballgame. I always say a silent prayer when I see a mom of twins or triplets because I know the workload is not just double but 4 times just one child. Before I had my first I would fatasize about having twins and I hoped with all my heart that I would. Then I had one and decided that twins would be crazy hard. You are a saint. I am sure they are a blessing just a blessing that takes a lot of work.
You’ll survive. You’ll be insanely tired (and possibly a little insane) but you will survive.
When it gets really tough just start mentally planning a trip of your own where Chris has to take care of them for a while.
Take deep breaths and drink some wine at night!
I am truly a SAHM. We rarely leave the house. It is too cold and the snow is too deep. It takes too much energy to put everyone’s boot, coats, hats and gloves on to go anywhere so we stay here watching Wall E over and over and over and over and over.
And I drink wine at night…..lots of wine.
If you were truly a tragic heroine, I think you’d lack a little of that hubris. ;)
Actually, I don’t think of your reaction as arrogance. It’s survival. Your husband’s gone and freaking the fuck out about it isn’t going to change that. I know this, because my husband travels a lot. In fact, he has this new gig where he’s going to be spending 1/2 of every month in Amsterdam. When I tell people this, they’re all like, “OMG! I’m so sorry!” And I look at them sideways. Because I have never found self-pity to be a very helpful emotion.
Ergo: you are not arrogant. Just a survivor.
When I had three under three, I was terrified to be home alone with them for extended periods. I don’t miss those days.
If nothing else, you’ll get some great blog material out of your long weekend! I like your attitude. I always whined and complained when T went out of town. I should have “wined” and made do instead. Can’t wait to hear about it. :)
Wrangling multiple kids is tough. Now that Izzy is mobile, we are not nearly as adventurous as we used to be (I don’t want to lose a child!). So, we stay at home a lot. Maybe you guys can make cookies? Or watch a new movie? Or finger paint?
I’ve always been impressed with your positive attitude. You’re so great about getting out of the house and doing things, even with three kids. I stay in the house a lot with the kids.
You’re amazingly strong.