My Friday Confession for this week comes on a Saturday. I just didn’t get around to it yesterday. Partly because I’ve been busy with life and partly because I’m just exhausted by it. Every night this week, I’ve wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed the minute the children are tucked in.
My early evening yawns may also be the result of staying up late every night last week when Chris was away on business.
I married a night owl, so it’s kind of a given that he will always be up long after I’ve fallen asleep. It’s easy to just ask him to run the dishwasher or to clean up the basement while he’s watching TV. But when he’s not here – I feel like I have to put everything away so that the house (or any part of the house that I choose to acknowledge) is tidy before I turn in for the night. Not that he has the same definition of “tidy” that I maintain – but in theory, I don’t have to do it all myself.
The other reason that I probably stayed up too late that week is that having full evenings to myself was kind of a treat. Some people are lonely when their significant other is out of town. But I actually enjoy it. And that’s my Friday Confession (on Saturday): I have a very strong loner streak. And you don’t tend to feel lonely when you’re a loner.
I don’t want to give the wrong impression, so let me be clear – I love the time that I do spend with my husband and I’m very grateful that he doesn’t travel as often as some other people in his industry do. It’s just that I don’t generally get lonely. So knowing that he’ll be back in a week and won’t travel again for several months makes it easy to view that time as an opportunity to indulge my reclusive nature.
Okay – “recluse” is probably a strong word to use for my Garbo-esque leanings. But I can honestly say that I could easily spend a pleasant day all by myself without saying a word to anyone. I have always had many close friends, and I love a good party, but I also love a quiet night at home with a book.
Many of my favorite things to do are solo activities. Reading? Yeah – I don’t need a partner in crime for that. Writing? My keyboard only accommodates one set of hands. Movies and television? I don’t like chit chat while I’m watching Lost. It requires my full concentration. I’M allowed to talk – that doesn’t bother me – but I don’t want anyone else’s commentary causing me to miss a crucial detail. I once had to explain this to him in the middle of the Sex & the City finale episode. I don’t even know why Chris was watching it with me (although he would tune in every once in a while if he thought there might be nudity). I was enjoying a glass of wine and entertaining myself with the occasional witty comment (I find myself very witty when I’m drinking wine). Out of nowhere, Chris made the gaffe of trying to have a witty comment of his own (I do NOT find Chris witty when I’m drinking wine – at least not while I’m watching S&TC). I lost precious seconds of viewing time to look at him and say, “I’m sorry – I probably should have explained this: I’m allowed to talk – but you are not.”
So every night after I put the kids to bed, I would think about what alone time activity I would enjoy that evening. Watching girl movies that Chris would never consider, catching up on Grey’s Anatomy, plowing through the Twilight series… To me, these are all guilty pleasures – simply because I can do them alone.
I used to not like this quality about myself. I thought that being introverted made me somewhat unfriendly. But given a few years and some perspective, I’ve realized that everyone has at least a little bit of a loner streak. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to survive the inevitable time that we’re left to our own devices. We all appreciate a little time to ourselves now and again. I just appreciate it a bit more than most. And that suits me well enough – particularly if I’m due for a home pedicure.
I can so relate. Even in highschool I picked sports that would allow me to compete with myself. Gymnastics, track, and swimming. Never basketball or other team sports.
I’m the opposite – even if I’m reading, or writing, I’d prefer my husband to be in the room. Just more comfortable that way.
I hate it when my husband tries to ask me a question about Lost when it’s on, so this week I turned into a Nazi and stated at the beginning SAVE your questions for the commercials! Of course I had to relent because we were both so confused — we might have missed some episodes last season? Anyway – love those nights alone too – had my first in a long time on Friday and just love love loved it.
I’m with you and Rachel. I am such a strong introvert and treasure quiet time to myself when the opportunity presents itself, but I also love being around my husband too. I think that’s mostly because he’s equally introverted so even when we’re together in the same room there’s no guarantee that we’ll speak very much. It’s the comfort of having him there during those times.
I’m the same way. I actually get a little batty if I don’t get enough alone time. I just can’t be social all the time. Even if it’s just with my husband.
I am very happy in my own company, which is a really good thing. We ought not to rely upon others exclusively for our happiness, IMHO, for it places huge pressures on them, non?
Especially, for me, when it comes to watching anything my OH hates, such as ER!
Hope you feel much more re-energised soon…
That’s a nice confession. You are blessed and forgiven. (Not that you need forgiven for anything.)
We all enjoy “people” time and “private” time – the amount obviously varies per individual.
I’m glad you were able to indulge. I completely understand.
I love being by myself. I’ve always been that way.
I really don’t mind it if my husband is in another room. If I can here him milling around that’s enough, I can go talk to him if I want or I can stay by myself.
I feel the same way. I crave solitude sometimes. Whenever my husband is out of town, I miss him, but I am certainly not lonely. :-)
Ahhh…. solitude. I’m with you. This is why I stay up too late, too. I enjoy my own company. We went on a ski trip this wkend. Tom and the kids skiied while I stayed inside w/ a book.
I can relate. I work from home so I get LOTS of alone time. So much so, that I’ve developed intricate routines and have cleaning down to a meticulous science. I love being home alone all day while my husband is at work. On his days off, everything is chaotic and off-kilter. Unfortunately he didn’t appreciate my suggestion that he work 7 days a week.
I totally understand the loner attitude. I cherish it. Thrive on my alone time. It is the main reason I get up early. ALONE. I could totally live by myself. Besides if you need company there is chatting and phones.
Coco
I love my husband, but I love time to myself as well. Lately if he hasn’t had stuff to do everynight and make it home just in time to tuck the kids in bed, then he’s watched them while I attended meetings lasting a couple hours. yes, I realize I didn’t have the kids with me, but I was at a MEETING!!
Me, need a break? =]
I always seem to stay up later when my husband is away – I think I like the silence and I watch random shows that I would never watch when he is here.
I’m the same way. I like having the occasional time to myself to do just quiet things. I like the quiet. And two pre-adolescent boys? Are not quiet.
I love love my time alone and catching up on my ‘stories’. I can completely relate to this. :)