NO – I am not comparing my dog to your baby. I’ve had three of my own babies and I’m not even a “dog person” (or much of an animal lover, truth be told). So you will never hear me chiming in on your potty training complaints with stories about my dog’s recent regression and the resulting carpet cleaning bills.
Please.
I’m just saying is that this whole puppy thing seems all too familiar for someone who hasn’t owned a dog since the ’80s. Every day brings a new moment of déjà vu. Because there are so many parallels to my not so distant past with babies and toddlers.
So of course I made a list:
Things That New Dog Owners Can Expect to Have in Common With New Parents
- You will get inordinately excited about your puppy’s poop and pee being deposited in the appropriate places. Rewards will be involved.
- You will actually have serious conversations about your puppy’s poop and pee. Often.
- You won’t be able to take your puppy for a walk without being stopped by at least one stranger who wants to talk to you about about your puppy.
- You will get a wealth of unsolicited advice from these strangers (some helpful – some not) about the best way to raise your puppy. This covers discipline, schedules, co-sleeping, breastfeeding…
*OHMYGOD I’m totally kidding about the breastfeeding. And while we’re at it, I would like to invite all new dog owners to join me in a moment of silent gratitude for the fact that this is ONE issue we do not have in common with new parents. - You will find yourself feeling shamefully smug about how much cuter and/or more well behaved your puppy is than other puppies you see.
- You will find yourself feeling horribly embarrassed by how much more poorly behaved your puppy is than other puppies you see.
- You will ALWAYS think your puppy is cuter than the other puppies (of course!)
- You will have a difficult time finding people who are willing and/or able to watch your puppy so you can go on vacation.
- You will no longer be able to afford vacations (puppies are expensive!)
- You will have a hard time remembering what life was like without your puppy.
And I have a bonus #11 for the stay at home moms out there who have a puppy because their working partner desperately wanted a dog and agreed to be 100% in charge of all things dog-related when not at work: YOU will still be the one to get up early on weekend mornings to walk the puppy and YOU will be in charge of figuring out how to best dispose of the rancid little poo bags that your puppy produces.
Enjoy!
But seriously – puppies are super. Most of the time. At least 50%…
She is dang cute. But oh how I don’t miss the puppy phase. Mine is nine years old. She has FINALLY mellowed. (Australian Shepard’s are HIGH maintenance, which we didn’t know when we got her.)
Issa recently posted..Random thoughts, version I don’t know 94 maybe?
I used to be a pet/dog person. But I also used to live on a ranch and the pet/dogs/cats didn’t live in the house.
I’m not sure I can have a pet (although my husband disagrees) because I have an issue with cleaning up pet hair.
You’re puppy is darn cute….
Connie Weiss recently posted..I Challenge You
Nope. Not going there…I’ve cleaned up enough poop and vomit for a lifetime.
suburbancorrespondent recently posted..United We Stand
so very true! i loved this list, kate.
anna see recently posted..Monday Musings and the Little Things
Loved this. Can relate to it all. We got a male Jack Russell pup sometime in March and, as the vet said, he is just ADD personified in the one little body! Kind of can’t wait till he’s grown up and a little more sensible…even though I LOVE him to death! Also can’t wait till he has the “snip”. Hopefully he’ll calm down a little after that!
Leisa recently posted..Taking the bull by the horns
Aaahhh, she is a sweet girl. I found myself comparing/using similar phrases for my boys that I did with Roger!!
I can’t wait to meet her!!!
christy recently posted..Happy Birthday Jill!!!
I want to say something witty, but all I’ve got is “aaawwwwww.”
Kate, you are too funny! Loved the list and the pup is adorable!
This is exactly why we don’t have a pet. Because it is almost, almost like having another baby. I tell everyone kids are enough pet or pets are like kids or…you get the idea. However, it definitely has its rewards and that is one cute dog!
heidi recently posted..uptight