Here is the problem with taking a writing hiatus: you have no idea how to pick up where you left off. After two weeks of writing nothing, I’m not sure where to start. So I think I’ll just do a stream of consciousness recap of whatever comes to mind. I may expand on some things later (and I take requests!), but here’s the overview.
I was so sad that I couldn’t be at BlogHer, but I checked Twitter periodically to see what my friends were up to and read the post mortems – all of which were strangely satisfying… Maybe I don’t have to go – I can just read about it and feel like I was there?
One of the session topics that I’ve seen mentioned involved “finding your tribe” and I’ve found myself thinking about who my tribe is. The people I read and who read me are kind of all across the board… I have connections to people who consider themselves to be writers and people who claim to be straight up mommy bloggers with no writing talent (although I sometimes beg to differ). I know artists and designers, as well as style bloggers. I follow DIY gurus and green thumb goddesses. And I’ve shed many a tear from both laughing and crying. I don’t know that I can pick out one solid group that defines me – which is what I’ve always thought a tribe does: defines you.
It all reminds me of high school. But apparently that was how a lot of people felt about BlogHer. I told Stiletto Mom in an e-mail that I imagine I would have done pretty well at BlogHer because I was very good at high school. Of course I didn’t know it at the time, and assumed I was kind of a dork. But looking back, I can see that I was far more focused on my individual friendships than any need to keep up with the popular crowd. I was generally happy to make the most of where I was with very few longing glances at groups across the room. So if it works out, I think I will head up to NYC in 2010. And there will be an open invitation to join me at my lunch table – wherever that happens to be.
While everyone was reliving the 11th grade at BlogHer, I was at Rehoboth Beach reliving my youth. I love that beach… The beach itself was hideously crowded since our house was right in the center of things. But as a city kid (now at heart of course, since I live in the sticks), I will take shops and restaurants over quiet beaches. We could drive to a quiet beach if that’s what we wanted. I want to be able to walk to the boardwalk to pick up my iced coffee.
I’ll do a beach post with pictures next week. My camera broke about three days into the week (or more accurately, George broke it when he smacked it out of my hand during an evening walk – like I’m his paparazzi or something). My mother in law has all of the pictures after that, so she’ll have to send them to me.
Speaking of George smacking things out of my hands – the twins have turned into monsters. Remember when I jokingly compared them to this?
Yeah – not laughing anymore. They are really cute…
…but throw water on them, or take a ball point pen away from them, or tell them “no” or something and this is what happens:
I moved them into Oliver’s room recently so they’re all on the same schedule now. I couldn’t do two bedtime routines anymore and this was the only way it was going to work for us. So far, I like our new set up. The routine involves a bit too much jumping around for my liking, but when it’s time for lights out, everyone goes to their respective beds. Oliver is very much the enforcer when it comes to our bed time script and prompts me in a stage whisper, “okay – now go wie [lie] down mommy…okay now kiss Eleanor…now George…” It’s a bit disconcerting though because his stage whisper sounds like a devil voice. Not so fond of this in the dark…thank god for Twilight Turtle.
They are pretty cute though when I go into their room in the morning. They’re usually all twined up in a pile like puppies. I’ll have to take a picture.
Aside: Chris is watching a show like Cops right now, and I have to wonder, do men EVER wear shirts on these shows? Either way, they certainly aren’t doing any ab work.
Speaking of abs – I’ve been attempting to do the 30 Day Shred. Except I was unable to walk on day two, let alone do jumping jacks, so it was more like the every other day Shred that first week. Then I was vacation for week three and preferred to keep my exercise recreational. So far, I’ve only shredded once in the few days that I’ve been back, but I think I’m ready to get back on track. I’m not going to put too much pressure on myself (a surefire way to make me hate it), so it will probably be more of an every once in a while Shred kind of thing.
I like doing this now that I’m a stay at home mom. Previously, I’d worry about getting my workout in and having enough time to get ready for work and get the kids ready for daycare by our 8 a.m. leave time. So this freedom to officially start our day (i.e. turn off the TV for AT LEAST 30 minutes) at 9 a.m. without worrying about a commute is quite refreshing.
Speaking of being a stay at home mom – I really need to change my profile. I’ll try to remember that when I finish this post…
And it’s going well, thanks for asking. Except for the being good at it part. That’s still a work in progress. Previously, most of my “go to” plans for days alone with children involved food and television. Apparently this is frowned upon by people who have a thing against childhood obesity. God they’re judgey.
So I decided to attempt a home school program for preschoolers that my husband found on this site. It’s really great. Unfortunately, my children are defective. They don’t think that fun things are…fun. For instance, week one is supposed to be devoted to activities involving cows. FUN right? Well they? Don’t agree.
Monday morning at 9 a.m. I announced that we would be playing games about cows. After receiving three blank stares, I thought I’d jump right into some gross motor activities. “Okay,” I continued as I dropped down on all fours, “let’s all pretend we’re cows! Look at me – MOOOOO. Can you be a cow too? MOOOOO.” Oliver crawled over to me and said “NEIGH! Oliver’s a horse!” Of course Eleanor wanted to be a horse too. And I’m not sure what George was doing…maybe emptying the toy box?
So I gave up on that idea and put everyone in the car to hit the library and search for books on cows. We’ve only attempted the library a couple of other times, and they haven’t quite grasped the concept of being quiet and not trashing the place. But with our new cow-related mission, I figured that we had some direction.
The first thing they did when we arrived was run through the aisles in a kind of zig zag formation all the way to the opposite end of the library. I ran behind whisper-yelling at them to STOP (a stage whisper very similar to Oliver’s devil voice, now that I think of it…), which of course they ignored until I caught up to them and said that we would have to leave if they didn’t stop running.
I won’t bore you with details about them dismantling three shelves while I doggedly tried to read to them, my complete inability to understand the Dewey Decimal system, or the fact that we had to leave once they started running again. But can tell you that we did not find, let alone read one book on cows.
So far the rest of the week has been more of the same – but I feel that we’re making some headway. I’m very close to identifying the exact pitch to use while yelling for them to understand that I’m serious. Now THAT is progress.
Best part of the day? Right after the twins’ nap, I take them to the pool and I recline on a chaise while they splash around in the baby pool. This seems to be the ONLY activity that doesn’t require my constant participation.
So expect to see me on Twitter between 4-6 p.m. Unless of course it’s raining. Then we’ll all be eating cookies in front of the TV. But really good educational TV – maybe about cows.
I love reading your posts! I was bummed about BlogHer too…but as a long as I have a place to sit at your lunch table, I may consider BlogHer2010. Seriously.
Libraries? They don't work well for us either. Neither does anything with a bouncey-house. Not sure why. :)
The thing I love most about blogs is the variety… I'd be bored in a homogenous tribe (well, unless anyone wants to join me in the 'Interested In Everything' tribe?!)
I've been thinking about calling you but not wanting to wake sleeping kids, so now at least I know when I might be able to get through! And so glad you're adjusting well to not working! Yeah for staying home!
I totally think you'd love BlogHer next year – and I really hope you get to go. Can't wait to see your beach pictures!
I liked this post. I could relate to a lot of it. :) I'd love to go to BlogHer someday. NYC might be doable for me…will have to look into it. One of the hardest parts for me about staying home is the "constant participation." I hear ya!!! :)
I like the variety of my blog tribe as well – although I haven't been the best follower this summer – so freaking busy.
I hope to get to BlogHer 2010 as well, even though I think I'd be nervous as hell at the outset.
I am also realizing I need to thank the library gods because we have an amazing children's room where the whole "quiet" thing is not really expected. Phew!
I have yet to do my BlogHer post mortem but high school pretty much sums it up.
When I first became a SAHM I had the same dream; educational, creative, fun bonding time. They'll crush it soon enough…
I'm not surprised to hear that you've got bloggy connections all over. I remember finding you through Jozette and wondering how you two connected!
Last night, while covering a break in the music/dvd department, I found we are selling the 30 Day Shred for 50 percent off. Taking that as some kind of sign, I walked around with the lone copy we have for the entire 30 minutes I was back there, convinced I was going to buy it and begin doing it today.
However, no. Using a formula that involved the fact I don't do jumping jacks and I don't like weeping (but I do that more than I ever do jumping jacks), I left it there. I just hope someone buys it so I don't feel it mocking me and my thighs later this week.
I don't think I'm part of any particular tribe, either, but I'm glad our tribal paths have crossed!
Ooh, I'm a Shredder too. Like you, I'm the occasional shredder. I've managed it twice so far this week. It's sad when even 20 minutes seems too damn long to work out!
I'm so afraid to even think about going to BlogHer (being that my blog is only like 2 months old. I'd be pressed againts the wall, or huddled in the fetal position mumbling for my mommy.
Man, that's a lot of stream of consciousness. Where to begin?
Here's my best advice for stay at home momming: it's okay to let your children entertain themselves. They learn important things like how to solve their own problems. And you get some time where you don't have to yell quite so much. This turns into a win-win for you, in the end, I promise. Now when a child comes to me and tells me she's bored, I tell her to go play with her sister, since that's the whole reason I had two of them. Yup.
Or maybe don't take parenting advice from me. :)
And why am I picturing Kate Gosselin and her brood when you say "beach vacation?"
Welcome back! We missed you!
I love Rehoboth… I am with you on needing those little shops and restaurants around. In fact, I probably know the place you had coffee! What a great little town.
I love the comparison to Gremlins! Oh my gosh, that is so dog-gone funny.
I gave up on the preschool thing. I tried to teach my oldest his ABC's. You would think that would be simple enough. I said "A", he said "S". A…S…A…S…A…S…after a while, I messed up and said "S". He said, "A". That was when I knew my kid was caught up in some conspiracy to drive me insane. I gave up.
I have a difficult time with "tribe" too. I understand. I enjoy reading a variety of blogs [when I have the time] and dip my toe in each "social pool". Sometimes it fits, sometimes it doesn't. It sounds like you would have finessed the BlogHer scene well. That's an excellent trait, in my humble opinion!
I enjoyed your "Speaking of…" seques.
Glad you had a nice time reliving your youth. Sounds like a wonderful time as long as it was a "good" youth! Welcome home!
I missed you at BlogHer but I'm glad you had a nice vacation.
Unfortunately I've got no advice on the stay at home thing even though I've been doing it for a year and a half. Some days we do activities, outings and projects. Some days its just good no one is bleeding. I tend to judge success on whether or not I got to have my coffee.
I was at the "finding your tribe" session at BlogHer, because I wasn't sure if I had – and I'm still not. One of my readers recently described me as a "hybrid blogger," because I blog on a few different beats, and I kind of like that; but you're right, if a tribe defines you, then I'm probably undefined.
I hope you'll by in NYC for BlogHer'10 (Lord help me, I already registered)!
All of my activities either involve food or end with food. Have you heard about my boyfriend at McDonalds?
Glad you're back and that things are going so well with the stay at home mommying.
Cows…they make milk and cheese. See FOOD!
Cows???? A whole week of cows??? But I love the image of you being a cow and Oliver being a horse. How creative of him! All cows are boring. Let's make it a farm! Glad you're doing so well and that you're blogging again.
Ooooo! Me! I want to sit at your table at BlogHer 2010! Okay, it's a little high school, but I think you nailed it exactly, if you focus on friendships that you want to form and forget the rest, it's really a good experience.
And cows? education? you're overthinking this sahm thing ;-)
Oh, man, I could never pick just one tribe. My readers are the most random ever… I have no idea why…
I love reading about everything you covered in this post. I want to sit at your lunch table next year. Love the concept of a blog tribe. I feel like I'm all over the place, but that's how I am w/ all my friendships, so I guess that's fine.
Oliver's devil voice? Too funny. I had a few gremlins of my own at this house.
first time visitor and fellow blogger who doesn't fit in a category and didn't attend blogher…I enjoyed your stream of consciousness! Personally I'm a little wary of large groups of similar people. Perhaps we need a tribe of the tribeless? or at least a lunch table on the side somewhere?
great post. we need to get together with the kids. we have so much to catch up on!
welcome home.
I would love to see you at BlogHer next year :)
and w00t! for getting closer to that mommy tone. I get it sometimes, but not always…. actually not most of the time! Still working on that one. ;-)
If you wanna stay online I can give you some really cool reading bits about cows :)))
xoxoxo
I didn't take an official hiatus like you did, but I took a little unofficial one. I have much catching up to do and your blog is one of those I MUST catch up with. I've missed you and I'm glad you're back!
Hey, if you do go to that blogher thing, tell me. I'll go if you go.
I missed you while you're gone…and now I'm trying to play catch-up myself!
I can't imagine doing two bedtime routines—just doing one takes over an hour by the time you factor in the bath.
I'm looking forward to seeing your beach pics. I used to go to Rehobeth in my early 20s when I lived in Wilmington, but I haven't been there in years. I remember it as being a good place to go antiquing—is that still true?