Ever get a song stuck in your head and you have no idea where it came from? For me it’s currently the theme song from Family Ties (remember that one – it ends “sha-la-la-la”). Well it’s sort of driving me nuts, but it’s definitely fitting for my thoughts today.

I have a wonderful husband named Chris. We have been married for close to eight years now. And while you might not guess it to look at him – he is a slob. And he’s not just an ordinary, run of the mill messy slob who doesn’t care about his messiness. He’s a creative slob.

He doesn’t just leave things where they fall, he creates odd piles and organizational systems. It isn’t possible for him to see a clean surface area and not immediately add clutter to it. And god forbid I move the items. Then it’s all, “where did you put my DMV renewal form? I know I was keeping it in the pile under the dining room table.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen him notice a balled up dirty sock on the floor and purposefully kick it into the corner NEXT TO THE HAMPER (“Back in the corner you go. There! Much better.“) Though I honestly think the clothes on the floor are invisible to him. He’ll walk around them for days until he sees something he wants. Then that item alone escapes the cloak of invisibility and magically appears out of nowhere! He gets very excited about this.

Unfortunately for me, the hamper is always invisible.

He also keeps things long past their expiration date. Like the pleated front pants that he never wears, or the shoes with holes so big, hobos would throw them out. One of my greatest moments of satisfaction was pointing out that there would never again be an appropriate time to wear his fraternity “a day without a buzz is a day that never wuzz” tee shirt with its visual of Calvin and Hobbes passed out around a keg.

But I think one of my favorite memories of the organized mess was one that happened shortly after we were first married. We lived in a one bedroom rented apartment with a large living room/dining room area. When you entered the apartment, the coat closet was to your right, the living room furniture was directly in front of you and the dining room table was on the far left end of the room. And our wedding was in the Fall, so within a month, it was time to pull out the coats and jackets.

Every day when he went out, Chris would take a coat out of the closet. And every day when he came back, he walked across the apartment and hung that coat on one of the six dining room chairs. I didn’t notice this immediately, but when I had the urge to start putting coats away, I recognized the pattern taking place and decided to see how it played out (I also marveled at how many coats he had).

Finally the seventh day came, and I stood expectantly, watching him walk in and take off his coat. Surely he would see that the chairs were all taken and realize what he was doing. I saw his look of surprise as the dilemma presented itself (“Huh. It seems that all of the chairs are already in use, there are none left.“) and then I saw him look around and consider his options (“Are there any other places I can put this coat?“). AND THEN I saw him carefully fold his coat in half and drape it across a clear area on THE FLOOR! That was when I had to scream, “stop the madness!” Apparently, the problem was that in the evening, our coat closet, much like our hamper, was invisible.

Don’t believe me? Here are a few pictures I took on Friday to document this:

Ever wonder what you should do with those twist ties that hold the dry cleaning hangers together?

Well if you are an ordinary slob, you will drop them on the floor – but if you are truly pathological, you will find a handy hook on the closet wall and wrap it around that. Sweet – and what do you know, it’s now invisible.

Since you ask – yes, that IS a hanging shoe organizer behind the hook. It must have confused you since it doesn’t actually hold shoes. And where do we keep those?

Here they are – in their proper jumble on the closet floor, along with a few random articles of clothing and the plastic dry cleaning bag that must have accompanied the now invisible twist tie.

Okay – here is one more bonus picture.

So where do you keep YOUR plastic bags after you unload the groceries?

Really? That makes sense, but I think our spot under a dining room chair is better.

Yes – Chris is a true original in his slob style. But he’s also unmatched in his ability to take care of his family. Shortly after I came up with some ideas for this post and took those pictures, we found out that my mother’s cancer has returned. This time, it is in her brain.

Chris found out on Saturday before I knew, and while I was sleeping that night, he booked my ticket to Key West for the following Monday. He stayed up all night worrying and talking to his family on the West Coast. And after very little sleep, he got up and spent the entire day doing everything he could to keep the kids busy while I ran errands and packed.

And when I felt like I might go out of my mind at the idea of being away from my children for a whole week, he booked a ticket for my three year old to come with me.

And when I felt like I was being weak, he pointed out that it would be a wonderful surprise for my father, to whom Oliver is very close (especially since it’s my Dad’s birthday). /

And I think he asked me if I was okay about a 100 times today.

And I’m really, really going to miss him this week.

I’ve never been one for public schmoopiness – but I really am lucky to have this man in my life. What would I do without him? Without us? Sha-la-la-la.

Originally posted on June 29, 2008. I thought this was fitting since September is our anniversary month – NINE YEARS on September 16! Visit Scary Mommy for links to more Flashback Friday Posts!

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