My son, George is already exhibiting signs of a rather unpleasant obsession with money. Specifically coins.
The good news is that living in the US and not in Europe, I don’t have to worry about him extracting anything significant out of my purse while I’m not looking. Seriously – if confronted with a hundred dollar bill and a couple of pennies, he’ll opt for the literal version of “cold, hard cash.” Not that he has many (any) opportunities to help himself to a hundred dollar bill out of my purse…but I’m sure I’ve got a few crumpled singles floating around at any given time.
This coin mania has become incredibly annoying in that he will actually yell, “MONEY! MONEY!” when he wants a penny to put in his pocket. Usually in public of course. Possibly from the bottom of the shopping cart while I’m screaming at one of the other two to “sit DOWN” or “put that back!“
I frequently thank my lucky stars that I’ve found a way to not really care what anyone else thinks. Much.
But George is a man of many, um…quirks. And we just try to have a sense of humor about it (while stuffing a piece of candy in his mouth to shut him up).
Recently, we had a good laugh over this particular gem when it was paired with his other more commonplace three year old practice of not always recognizing certain things as gender specific (see this post for another example of that).
A couple of weeks ago, we were eating lunch at a local chicken wing place. And by “eating lunch” I mean that my husband was eating chicken wings, I was eating a salad and something like mozzarella sticks (because wings encompass pretty much every meat-related phobia I have) and the kids were ignoring their plates while playing with the various video games and vending machines.
We do this two or three times a month, so we pretty much have a system down. There are only three of our five family members at the table at any given time and I spend a considerable portion of the meal trying to hide the most offensive of the cheap trinkets they bring back to us in those plastic bubbles I remember from my own youth. And I sometimes wonder if some of said trinkets may have been in the vending machines that long.
One that I actually kept because it was so hilarious was a Ricky Martin medallion, circa 1999. But on this particular day, George was gifted with something far more special than the usual super balls and army men. He opened his plastic bubble and found a “necklace.”
Isn’t it gorgeous? He was so proud of it and had no idea that he looked like a tiny white aspiring rapper. At three, he has no idea what a rapper is – but we immediately dubbed him G Money and took about 500 pictures with my iPhone.
He insisted on wearing his special necklace every day until it mysteriously disappeared. Strange how these things always seem to happen while they’re sleeping… Anyway, a couple of weeks later, George acquired a new look to wear out in public:
Yes – those are two Scooby Doo band aids on his face. Earlier in the day, he got into a package of hot Thai seasonings that somehow blew into his eyes. Luckily, I was right behind him and could immediately stick his face under the cold tap. Of course, he didn’t understand that I was trying to help and screamed and thrashed, alerting the neighborhood to one of the many acts of child abuse that goes on in my house on a daily basis.
While his eyes were fine, it did hurt a lot and he had some burned patches. And in the universal expectation that a band aid can fix everything, he insisted on applying a couple (which I made sure were placed on unburned skin lower on his cheek bones). Then we went out to lunch.
And to be honest, I really could have cared less. It bothered me a little bit that he looked like someone had been beating his face…particularly since the side of Eleanor’s nose was green from a rather nasty fall on her face while playing outside the day prior… But what can you do?
I love this about children – the disregard for the opinions of others. It doesn’t serve me well when I’m trying to shame them into realizing that you can’t go outside without pants – but it does make me feel better about their ragamuffin end of season apparel that looks like it came off the costume racks for Oliver Twist.
So I’ll embrace George’s prerogative to scream for money and wear lip gloss and bling and demand band aids on his face that resemble war paint. It’s so easy to get caught up in what other people think – to be insecure. I admire the guileless self confidence of youth.
But I also know that it ends – or goes on hiatus from time to time. And someday when George is older and regrettably wiser, and feels the pinch of derision from the outside world, I’ll pull out these pictures and an old line from Swingers, telling him, “you’re so money and you don’t even know it.“
I am personally praying to the plastic egg machine gawds that G Money scores a giant clock necklace next.
You stole my line. I was going to tell you George is so money and he doesn't even know it. Love it.
He is the cutest little gangsta I've ever seen.
LOL. Thanks for making my day. Your "kid" tales are the best….that necklace is classic. Wow. I am so glad you documented this for posterity. xo
That necklace is awesome. Ben one day wore his mickey mouse hat he got from Disneyland along with a necklace and pirate pants to school. Ah, kids.
Fun post. I would have taken a thousand photos too.
Love love LOVE this post. Seriously. It's so true that their lack of self-consciousness is one of their most endearing qualities. It goes away all too soon, too, so cherish it while you can. I turned around this fall and suddenly found myself with a kindergartner who was embarrassed to have me wear "that awful hat" into school when I came to pick him up. Fortunately, at least now I can reliably get him to wear pants when he leaves the house.
I'm going for that bandaid look tomorrow when I go to work.
OMG…I'm finally getting a chance to play Internet catch up, and I laughed so hard reading this. Two days ago, the boys and I had dinner with my dad. We went to a restaurant ripe with all those trinket machines in the front entryway, and ever since my dad made the fatal error of giving the boys $2 each in quarters to go drain those machines of their bubble-encased trinkets of crap, I swear I get the twitches every time he calls and invites us to dinner there.
When we finished our recent dinner, I took my dad aside while the boys ran to the restroom (another habit that completes their need to go to every dang bathroom everywhere we go) and begged him not to give them any money for the toy machines because I can't deal with any more crap in my house. He swore he wouldn't. So imagine my surprise when, later that night, my 8 year old comes downstairs wearing a cheap, chunky silver necklace. I sighed. Then I prayed for a quick demise of said necklace. No such luck. He just left for school and he's again wearing that necklace. He wore it yesterday, too, despite my warning (hope!) that it would break if he wore it to school. "Look, Mom! My necklace didn't break today!"
Sigh…
He's dressed all in black today, and that silver necklace is shining in the sun around his neck. He looks like a little Guido. I guess I should be thrilled the necklace is silver, since it goes better with his coloring!
;)
So cute! It's so true, though–life is a lot easier when you don't care what other people think. My worst mistakes as a parent happened b/c I was worrying about what other people were thinking. Le sigh . . .
Oh my god Kate I'm dying of laughter over here. SO FREAKING funny! I love it! G Money indeed! Great photos and such true sentiments. Loved this one.
He is so cute, and it's so true, children don't care what others think! We should totally be more like our kids, right?
George is so adorable and soooo funny. I just love him to pieces. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw that necklace. He's so little and skinny with that big chunky chain and lock (!). For pete's sake who thought that one up to go in a kid's toy dispenser?
Ok, loving the PO.P shirt on him. Looks new. :-)
So sweet. So much personality!!
We had an incident with a package of instant mashed potatoes once… you can imagine what happens when they encounter liquids from the eyes…
Miss you lady, I am back on track though!
Kate your children are absolutely adorable. I think it is cute that George does these things. You should never feel embarassed about it. If people have a problem you know where they can go.
Haven't visited you lately because I have been out of town and extremely busy. Love the stories. Love the kids. Soooo cute.