Now that we’re back from vacation, I’m taking another week off from writing to catch up on my reader. So I’ve selected five posts from the archives using a sophisticated random selection system based on The Price is Right rules of play (or something like that). Here is the first oldie-but-goodie-but-now-I-think-everything-I-wrote-back-then-sucked-why-did-I-decide-to-commit-to-posting-every-day-this-summer-again?…Enjoy!
When Good Girls Go Bad
originally posted August 20, 2008
The other night, we were in the middle of our evening routine (dinner for kids, baths for kids, bedtime for kids, bottle of wine for parents) and had the conversational equivalent of a wardrobe malfunction.
It was Eleanor’s turn (we’re still doing separate baths since Oliver goes to bed later and George…well – the explanations are boring and not based on any real logic – we just do it that way most of the time). Anyway – Chris agreed to do the bath while I cleaned up the kitchen, and he brought my daughter over for a goodnight kiss.
I said something about it being bath time and she tossed back the house party line, “no.” I explained that she had played outside that day and that her legs were so dirty that I could wet my finger and write my name in the filth (kind of like what people to do my – I mean – dirty cars). Actually – I didn’t say that to her because she wouldn’t have any idea what I was talking about, you know, not being two yet and all…but it’s good imagery for the amount of grime she had acquired during the day.
The rest of the conversation went like this:
Me: Okay – I love you – night night.
Eleanor: No!
Me: Yes – you need a bath. You are SOOO dirty. You have to clean up.
Eleanor: NOO-HOO-HOOO-HOO!
Me: YE-HEH-HEH-HESS! You are too dirty. You HAVE to take a bath.
Chris: That’s right – cause you’re a dirty girl.
(long pause as parents take in the words that seem to inflate like giant porn balloons in the air between them)
Kate: Don’t ever say that again?
Chris: Yeah – that didn’t sound good…
Ha! When my son was little he had a video of big construction equipment (bulldozers and the like). He would ask publicly if he could watch "the dirty video."