I’m feeling a little guilty for ignoring The Big Piece of Cake and Wishing True lately… Not that I think anyone is really reading blogs right now (or maybe it’s just me?) But still – my lack of motivation is at an all time high. I have almost no time to write and little inspiration beyond cute stories about my children (yawn); and the “what’s the point of it all” voices are creeping in. Therefore, I fall back on being lazy. So much easier, you know.
I often have to remind myself of why I started a blog. It was just for fun. Just because I liked to write and had enough family and friends with an interest in reading it.
Maybe it was going to BlogHer and being surrounded by so many movers and shakers and marketers and self promoters – but it’s made me look at the big picture and seriously ask myself “why?” It’s pretty time consuming and I’m not saving the world or making money or anything. Is “for fun” enough of reason to devote so much energy to something so small?
But before you think I’m going down that angsty, self absorbed path (define me! define me!), know that I actually do now have an answer to my own question. It came from a recently made friend.
Oliver is in a little social skills group and in our hours of waiting room sitting, one of the other mothers and I have done a lot of talking. I ended up telling her about my blogs while explaining BlogHer and the trip I was making to NYC. She seemed interested, so I offered to e-mail her links to the posts I’ve written about Oliver.
Since then, she’s mentioned how much she relates to my stories and even sent I Never Thought I’d Wear Sunglasses to her mom. The fact that something I wrote could help one person I know (and possibly even someone I don’t know) feel just a little less alone in the world seems like a good enough reason if any for continuing to blog. In a sea of voices, a little fish can still be heard and maybe even make a difference.
Or at least that’s what I tell myself since it’s an excellent excuse to prolong this narcissistic pursuit.
I think the real reason that I’ve been so off lately is that I’m kind of terrified by the idea of Kindergarten. There are a million reasons – and no reason. I operate best not worrying about things in advance – so I think I’ll just stick with that.
Instead I’ll re-read everything I’ve written on the subject, know it got better then and will now. And more importantly, that I’m not alone.
So next week I’ll be re-running posts on Oliver. Ones that made me feel better – or helped me work through things. Maybe someone else looking down the barrel of a special needs entry into Kindergarten will read them. And maybe they’ll feel better too.
Weird (or maybe not) echoes between we two. I definitely felt post BlogHer doldrums and had trouble getting myself going again, we're dealing with kindergarten (and of course I'm complicating things in my head) AND I recently put up a video of my 5 year old jumping off a diving board. (It is a nice metaphor for so many things.) So I feel you and am especially glad you have felt the impact your writing has had on that one woman's life. Others are out there, to be sure.
"I often have to remind myself of why I started a blog. It was just for fun. Just because I liked to write and had enough family and friends with an interest in reading it".
There you go.
Never lose that.
Kate, I started blogging without a clue on how to do it.
Everyday I just plugged away learning this and that.On my own. It was kind of an exciting time of discovery for me. Those were the days when I was just writing for me, myself and someone whom I thought was a human follower but turned out was just a bot. I read so may blogs and thought..pshhh..I can't write like this, I can't do this. I was petrified to even comment on some of them. For some reason VodkaMom intimidated the crap outta me! And now? She is one of my dearest friends in bloggyland.
I don't have a ton of followers, I'm not now or ever going to be a "brand" or a mover or a shaker.
but you know what?
I'm pretty OK with that.
I have suckish self promotion skills anyway. :)
Like you, I started my blog for fun. Just to see if I could do it.
I get such a thrill when words that I put together and formed sentences with, inspire someone to comment.
And when I got an e-mail from someone telling me that my blog inspired her to start her own?
That's what I'm all about.
I'm not giant leap/big splash person.
I'm more a splashing around in a puddle in my driveway girl.
I have fun.
Also. You are probably suffering from post BlogHer blues.
They will pass :)
Rene
I never tell people I meet about the blog- it's odd- such a huge part of my life that I just don't share with new people here. I should- it may help me make some friends who actually live outside of the computer.
Awesome Kate! So glad your posts helped that woman out and I'm happy to re-read your posts on Oliver. I'm not reading much or writing at all these days either…hope his first day goes smashingly!
I'm in a similar rut myself, and can't seem to bring myself to write. I'm stressing about house hunting. About moving into my new rental home. About the girls new school. Stuff that I can't write on my blog. Stuff that I can't post on Facebook.
I love that blogs help people. That YOUR blog is helping someone. That's awesome! I hope it inspires you to keep writing. Soon. I need motivation. xx
hi kate. hope you had a wonderful summer. i´ve missed you!
p.s. my world is a little more fun with your writing in it:)
Like everyone has already said, (though I somehow still need to chime in,) it's all normal. We write a blog about our LIVES, and sometimes life just doesn't lend itself to blogging. You'll get past it. And K? That will go swimmingly and soon you'll be in a new routine and wondering why you were so worried. xoxo
I'm "that woman," and I have to say it again… reading your posts is so therapeutic for me. From the struggles to delights. And I'm sure there are other women out there who stumble upon your blog and appreciate all of your tales as well… from turtle parts (just saw that one!) to diving boards.
I just started reading blogs and would eventually like to start one of my owe to share with others the daily life of a family of five with a special needs child.
I came across your blog through another and found yours very interesting and funny only to later learn that you have a son on the Autism Spectrum. I hope that you know that you are making a big difference to others without even realizing how much. Please keep it up! Can't wait to read about Oliver! I bet he's AWESOME!!
I think it's easy to feel small, to feel like you should be doing more, but I also know that my blog is my space so whatever it is I am writing about at the time, is fine by me. Quite often I miss the writing from those that have turned into brand pushers…
Good luck with kindergarten! Good luck with your blog journey, where ever it may take you.
Exactly. Your words reach people you don't even know exist. I promise you that. What you write makes someone feel better or understood or not alone.
Also? I think it's okay to invest all the time just for fun too. :)
I went through this same angsty WHY? last year after Blogher and again this year. I am not a big fish. I probably won't be a big fish. Why do I do it? And the answer is to share with others. Both give and take. When I was a new mom, reading blogs was the only way I realized how not alone I was and how survivable some of those hard days were. Please continue to share your story. You might be surprised how many people you help.
hey girl! i loved this post. i can very much relate to blog blahs.i've got them right now, and my computer sucks,and i'm worried about back to school, etc. love your blog and i am always so inspired to hear how a specific blog post can be exactly what someone needs at a specific time. that is so humbling and wonderful. xo, a
hey girl! i loved this post. i can very much relate to blog blahs.i've got them right now, and my computer sucks,and i'm worried about back to school, etc. love your blog and i am always so inspired to hear how a specific blog post can be exactly what someone needs at a specific time. that is so humbling and wonderful. xo, a
I love your blog…but you know that. It's always at the top of my 'blogs I must read' list.
The posts you write about Oliver are touching and wonderful and needed.