I have been SO busy with life lately. I mean, now that my twins go to preschool three mornings a week I have a whole 7.5 hours of alone time to devote to examining my new wrinkles, making myself snacks and reading Project Runway recaps online.
All of this distracted meandering around my house is exhausting! I have very little inclination to do anything productive like writing blog posts or cleaning or giving myself that much needed pedicure. I’m simply too worn out from the lassitude of loose endedness.
But my children make up for my cuticle picking torpor by achieving new personal bests on a daily basis. The most remarkable of these was a tandem effort by my sons, Oliver and George to start the school year off with a literal “pow” by hitting people. And it gets better! The incidents occurred within a week of each other and both of the targets were GIRLS. I’m just bursting with pride…
I already mentioned Oliver’s outburst in a previous post. He hit his teacher the other week. As a special needs kid, Oliver has some little quirks that could be explained as “self soothing,” and when they don’t disrupt the classroom, they are allowed. One of these is “self talk” or the tendency to keep up a stream of semi-intelligible chit chat with oneself while performing tasks or playing. Sometimes it’s scripting from favorite TV shows and DVDs and sometimes it’s something else, but from what his special ed teachers and therapists have told me, it’s not a problem and they don’t see the need to interfere with it. Unless of course, he really has to be silent. Which is the case for certain “zones” in the school hallways. Apparently he was chatting away in one of these zones and when his teacher tried to end it, she inadvertently opened a can of whup-ass. Or more specifically, he got upset and struck out at her (connecting with her face).
Super.
It’s all okay though. His special ed case manager was called and she talked to him about how his reaction wasn’t “a good choice” and what better choices he could have made (here is where I’m madly taking notes on how I should be handling things with him at home). Then he had a little time out before going back to join his friends. They weren’t too worried about it overall since Oliver is rarely violent and seemed very upset about what he did (and his teacher said he’s still apologizing to her, so maybe the lesson will stick?). Anyway…BYGONES!
Then, there’s George. That’s become almost a catchphrase of mine of late, “then, there’s George…”
My very intense younger son has embraced preschool with his usual unmitigated enthusiasm, and from what I could tell was seamlessly assimilating to this new environment. Then came the check in call (that all of the parents got) on Friday, reporting on the twins’ first couple of weeks. It was all rainbows and unicorns until a final caveat that there was just one incident in which a few days prior, George had a fight with another student. The teacher claimed not to have seen what happened, but that he and the LITTLE GIRL (note to self: must augment his school wardrobe with some new wife beater tank tops) were “really going at it.” I believe she even used the word, “fisticuffs.” Nice. But the good news is that the little girl’s mother was there and could comfort her while the teacher focused on talking to George. So that was great…
The truth is, George’s teacher didn’t seem overly concerned about it and just wanted to let me know in case he brought it up (yeah right!). Knowing my son as well as I do, I pretty much assumed that he was the instigator. Not that he starts a lot of fights, but we’ll chalk it up to mother’s intuition. So I wasn’t in the least bit surprised when I asked him why he and his friend had a fight and his answer was “‘Ecause she wouldn’t make room.” So basically, he wanted her to scoot over so he could sit down, and when she wouldn’t (or couldn’t), he decided to forcibly move her. Then the “fisticuffs” ensued.
I was able to apologize to the other mom, and I think that there are no hard feelings. But seriously – what is wrong with my boys!? We don’t encourage physical violence at home. I’m just going to assume that they’re busting out the inevitable bad behavior as early as possible instead of waiting until later in the school year (my little over achievers!). At least I won’t be lulled into a false sense of confidence.
But now I have a little free time, so I’m going to be Scarlett O’Hara and leave those pesky worries for another day called “tomorrow.” I can’t sit around thinking about parenting strategies right now. I’m fairly certain that I have some old chocolate chips in the back of the freezer and I simply must check the TV listings for this evening. Hope I’m not forgetting anything unimportant…
A lazy woman’s work is never done…literally.
I think, sadly, boys will be boys. I mean, I certainly don't promote violence or hitting in MY house, either, and my 2.5 year old attacks his older brother! Scratching, kicking, punching. My poor 5 year old! Also at night my 2.5 year old likes to kick the crap out of me, too.
Sometimes, as boys will be boys, my husband will play fight with them – and sometimes that irritates me because even though they're like, lying the grass, laughing, tickling eachother, having fun, I fear that is perhaps a sign that it's okay to do that but for real. Tough, tough.
I like the sound of the free time. As for the fisticuffs, dare I say it – I think this behaviour might be kind of, um, normal, for boys of this age. Even if they're not physically violent at home or elsewhere, boys are just generally more physical. I don't know, I'm not there yet. All I know is, my son is 3 and can be very rambunctious and tends to leap in with his head and hands first, even though he's a very sensitive soul on the inside. Sigh.
A week ago I was told Ben kicked another boy in the…and this was the teacher's word…privates. I would have used junk, but that's neither here nor there. I nearly died.
Honestly, sometimes I just think it's a lot for kids to take. Being in school with 19 other kids and getting used to everything that comes along with that. I'm having one of those weeks where I'm feeling parenting insanity…like I really don't know what the hell I'm doing.
You're awesome, Kate. We really do have to meet sometime. :)
Oh Kate I'm sorry but that made me laugh out loud. The super part – where Oliver hit the teacher – in the face! HA! Glad neither kid got in serious trouble…and glad you have the right perspective on it all! Great post. Now go enjoy the chocolate chips and tv!
It seems like an instinct. They did that for a reason, with consequences shared to mommy. Sorry about that.
Following your lovely blog.
I am also inviting you to add your blog and/or business domain at http://olahmomma.com/mylounge – a directory of blogs and businesses by moms/parents with rate and review tools.
I would appreciate a lot for your follow-back:). Have a great day!
Sigh. A lot of this seems similar to my little monkey. He hit his teacher last week too, though I think that was accidental in his rage. I think.
I think that all of these kids deserve a pass these first few weeks of school… transitions are hard for most kids (especially when they're new to the school). It sounds like Oliver really realized that what he did was wrong – and won't try that again. And George … why is it that the 2nd kid (usually of the same gender as the first) always seems to get into trouble? George sounds like a kid after my own heart!
I don't know if I ever told you, but last year, on the first day of KG for Sheridan … the teacher took all the girls into the outside bathroom to show them where to go, and then left them to do their business. Well Sheridan decided to sneak out, turn off the lights, shut the door, and go running to the playground. All the other girls (7 of them) were stuck screaming in the bathroom for the teacher.
I was just so *proud* of her… definitely bursting with pride!
We had two incidents of hitting at school with our oldest the last two days of school. Husband tried to explain to him that hitting is unacceptable and that he always gets in trouble for hitting so he shouldn't do it anymore. I don't think it sunk in though. He hit his brother on the way to the breakfast table this morning. Boys are just so different! Also, when I talked to the PE teacher at Open House, he suggested getting him a punching bag. He said sometimes boys just need to get their aggression out. But then does that just help him hone his skills? Who knows, might be worth a try!
Don't worry Kate. When you were in preschool you admired a little girl named Andrea who was a viscious biter so you began to emulate her and became a biter. I was devastated. My sweet little girl turning violent??? Inconceivable!!! But it all blew over and Look at you now – the gentlest soul ever. You are so fortunate to have teachers trained in how to handle such behaviors. Back in the dark ages when I was that age kids were just labeled "bad" or in the very least "disruptive" and guess how they turned out?
you know that i TOTALLY understand all about this…soooo is it bad to say that i smirked and chuckled while reading this post???
xoxo
tomorrow. tomorrow. there's ALWAYS tomorrow…
:)
I can't get my kids to stop beating each other up. There is scratching, hitting, and poking going on all day.
Do they grow out of this?