I’ve written recently about our front lawn and all of the varieties of butterfly bush we planted. And not much has changed. Our foliage is still attracting more bees than butterflies.
Luckily they’re mostly cute, fuzzy bumblebees. But still – our front steps are flanked by insects that sting. So that’s not really ideal.
Then a week or two ago, we acquired a new mascot that may just be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life:
Can you imagine if that thing buzzed around your head every time you left the house?! I think it’s close to two inches long!
I’ve had to be brave for the children and try to keep it busy while leaving the house, so they can make a hasty departure behind me. But I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t scare the bejeezus out of me.
And it doesn’t help that it literally stands sentry – perched on a particular bush, and zooming over to check out anyone walking up or down our stairs.
Also? It looks at you. With those hideous red eyes.
It’s an intelligent monster.
Chris said that he was pretty sure he had seen pictures of this thing before and that it’s called a Wasp Killer: a wasp that looks like a bee and kills other wasps. I assume this means it kills other types of wasps and not its own kind. Aren’t all species hard wired to preserve their own bloodlines while they systematically exterminate everyone else? One would think this applies to Wasps Killers as well.
ANYWAY – one morning Chris sent me an e-mail asking me to take a picture of it so he could show a friend. A super fun activity, since another Wasp Killer had apparently challenged our guy and they were locked in mortal combat right in front of our door. I hid behind the screen door while poking my camera out to snap pictures every time one of them would land on the bush.
Oliver tried to step around me to get a better view and I shoved him back so hard you would think a great white shark had just chewed its way out of the concrete in front of us.
No kidding – even the bumblebees looked scared.
But I did manage to capture the two images above. They don’t really convey the sense menace we all feel in this bug’s presence…but they do provide a good representation of its appearance.
Later on I got a reply from Chris telling me that we are not in fact being terrorized by a Wasp Killer.
His friend, Blake saw the pictures and immediately recognized the beast as a Cicada Killer. He, said that when he first saw one, he ran screaming like a little girl. But later he found out that they look scarier than they actually are.
Not at all dangerous to humans, the males are aggressive when defending their territory against other males, but have no sting. The females do sting but only as a means of paralyzing cicadas. They rarely sting people – and only if they are “grasped roughly or stepped on with bare feet” [as if someone could miss one of those dinosaur-sized bugs!].
So it appears we are currently hosting a male. One who is just defending his (our) territory and can’t sting us anyway.
That does give me some peace of mind – and little inclination to call an exterminator… But really, couldn’t we just have a BUTTERFLIES guarding our front steps? It’s not like we planted a bumblebee bush or a Cicada Killer bush. Sheesh. On to happier subjects though – I leave tomorrow for BlogHer 2011!
I attended for the first time last year, and wrote a pre-conference post that pretty much holds true for this year as well. So I won’t duplicate that. Instead I’ll list a few things that I wouldn’t miss for the world – just in case you want to find me. These would be good places to look:
My two Serenity Suite shifts: Friday 12-1 p.m. and Saturday 2-3 p.m. I did this last year too and it was definitely highlight. It was so nice to have a quiet place to hang out with people – catch up with friends and meet new ones… Even though I’m scheduled to be there each day, I’ll probably still drop by if I have some free time.
The Friday 1:15 p.m. session: From Page to Stage. I can’t wait to hear more about how the speakers used their written work as inspiration for stage shows. And if you bring a post or something else you’ve written, you can read it there and get their feedback. I’m definitely volunteering. Why not? Everyone can benefit from public speaking training – and this would be a good opportunity to get a few ideas about your strengths and areas that need improvement.
Voices of the Year keynote. Everyone goes to this – but I mainly want to be there to hear a good friend (and fantastic writer) read one of her beautiful pieces. Last year I knew THREE out of the 15 readers and this year there is another friend to support. And I’m all about feeling special by association…
Listen to Your Mother open mic event later that evening. This may be the one thing I’m most looking forward to. A few years ago when I first read about BlogHer and saw pictures of the “Community Keynote” (as the VOTY keynote was previously called) I envisioned something like an all-day salon where anyone could get up and read. From someone quietly slipping in to listen for a while – to groups of friends daring each other to “get up there!” A bit like karaoke? I’ll put my name in the hat – but assuming that there will be many of us, it’s likely that I won’t make it out of the audience. That’s okay though – I’m far more interested in listening than speaking at this. And of course, when it’s over, I’ll just make all of my friends sit down outside the room and listen to me. I’m calling it “Voices of the Lobby.” I think it’s really going to catch on…
The Conference Receptions – particularly Sparklecorn and Aiming Low. Last year I overdid it and was too tired the last night to dance. This time around I know better and plan to take it easy – maybe even sleep in. No drifting around fun parties like a zombie!
And finally – I will definitely drop by the Queen Bee Market taking place at the Bayfront Hilton all day Saturday. Support Handmade! [insert fist pumping here] Soooo looking forward to discovering new artists.
Of course I’m going to a few private parties and have various dinners and lunches planned with friends – but I wanted to steer clear of any name dropping this time around. There are too many and I can get a little link crazy.
If we haven’t met before but you recognize me from my profile picture, please say hi! I’ll admit that I don’t look like a real sparkler – but that’s just a mild case of chronic bitch face. I’m actually very friendly. And I’ll appreciate it since I have a shy streak and am subject to inconvenient bouts of insecurity. I talk a good game on my blog – but I do my fair share of time travel back to high school. And you know what they say about BlogHer…it’s a lot like…
Anyway – if you’re going, I’ll see you there! And if you’re not, you’ll be missed! And if you have no idea what what I’m talking about – maybe it’s best left at that.
See you next week!
Have a GREAT time! Wish I could be there to hang out with you!
First of all, impressive bee pictures!
Second, have a BLAST at BlogHer!Bummed I can't be there, too. I'm sure I'd be more relaxed, fun, cool (insert positive adj. here) this year as a veteran! Can't wait for your recap. xo
Those pictures of the insect are kind of terrifying. But pretty good all the same. Have a great time at BlogHer!
Please keep your giganticor insects where you live, I don't want to see that anywhere near here. Not that I'm afraid of bugs or anything. Ahem.
You totally didn't look pissed, FYI. I had a blast meeting you. You are a funny chica.
It was wonderful to meet you at Page to Stage, and at JSix luncheon.
Maybe next year, more time to talk and get to know you.