mommyhole.com

In response to the overwhelmingly positive feedback I received via e-mail (and in person), I’ve decided that moving forward, the unofficial name of this blog will be mommyhole.com. As I’ve already purchased my bigpieceofcake domain name, I’ll just have to stick with it. But we will all know in our hearts that I’m really writing for mommyhole. By the way – a hearty thank you for directing these sentiments to me personally and not embarrassing me by flooding my comments with your encouragement and compliments. You’re all too kind. Here’s to you and looking forward to a bright blogging future with many more jokes at my expense!

Falling Down the Mommy Hole

So what now? Now that I’m done with the whole finding a domain name debacle – and now that I’ve associated myself with bad eating habits – what am I going to do with this blog? I liked the idea of doing something very organized with it like those blogs devoted to fashion, music, design, kids – but much like my many other intentions in life, I just don’t think I’ll be able to get it together.

I’m really not an expert on anything. And it’s even worse since I had kids and decreased my free time by about 99%. I love reading about clothes and style, but these days I spend more money on my kids’ clothes than anything else. I can’t pretend to be even a little bit cool when it comes to music, so that was never going to be a consideration. Most of my CDs seem to be labeled “Best Of”, “Greatest Hits” or “Gold” – or even worse, movie soundtracks or those compilation CDs like Jock Jams or Time Life purchases made while watching late night TV. And in the spirit of total disclosure, I must admit that the last time I expressed appreciation for music, it was a Wiggles’ production of Move Like an Emu (Have you seen some of their trippier techno renditions with the puppets? They’re excellent – and I think they kind of brainwash you.).

As for design, even though I grew up with a mother in design and a love of all things beautiful, I just don’t think I’d have enough to say. I’d rather buy a magazine or read my favorite design blogs. I can’t even fantasize about living in one of those magical magazine houses because I automatically envision my children leaving trails of crumbs and sticky hand prints all over everything in their wake. OR I think about how I’d have to baby-proof all of those French doors leading out to the infinity-edge pool – or some other mundane bit of paranoia.

Ultimately, I’m just not interested in writing another mommy blog. This is nothing against them since I currently enjoy several. But I’d feel like I was a big fake writing posts on great developmental toys and parenting advice, when I generally feel like I never quite do anything right. To be honest, I originally did plan to write about my experience as a struggling parent. Much like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, I often feel like I’ve fallen into a parallel universe. One where chaos reigns, logic is rotated 180 degrees and decisions are based on “whatever will make them stop crying.” I even had an idea for a blog name: mommyhole.com. Chris (my husband) just looked at me for a minute and then said, “please don’t do that.” Apparently, it wouldn’t reflect my PG-13 subject matter.

So what am I going to write about?…..What’s “my thing?” I guess I don’t have one – so my personal blog is just going to reflect that. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, a cute story about my children, something I’m currently reading, yet another complaint about my husband’s inability to put his dirty socks in the hamper….I guess I’ll just have to see what develops. But at the very least, I’ll give anyone reading this a great sense of superiority when they see how much more knowledgeable they are on any given subject. Maybe even inspire them to write their own more informed blog. And just in case you’re interested, mommyhole.com is currently still available.

Master of My Domain

No – this has nothing to do with the phrase popularized by that infamous episode of Seinfeld. As a friend of mine (and you must be my friend if you’re reading this), you can’t honestly believe that I’d write about THAT.

Becoming master of my domain is simply what I had to do to set up this blog. I had to buy my domain name. And let me tell you, this is easier said than done. People have been buying domain names for a fairly long time now AND they even buy additional similar domain names to create some kind of online branding monopoly (dramatic eye roll). So I am reduced to forgoing the options that would be somewhat meaningful for me, and instead spending hours (okay – like an hour) searching for something that will just have to do.

Surprisingly enough, this little exercise has proven to be quite amusing. Did you know that when you search for domain names on Google, you are not only informed of availability, but you are also given alternate possibilities? SO if you find that atouchofyellow.com has already been taken (don’t make that face – it’s something from my childhood that actually has great meaning for me), then you are presented with some of the following substitutes:

afeelofyellow.com
acontactofyellow.com
atouchofjaundice.com
afeelofchicken.com
afeelofjaundice.com

Does this mean atouchofchicken.com is taken? Damn! Oh wait – I just checked and atouchofchicken.com is in fact available. It just didn’t make the cut for other domain names similar to my first choice. I can now add atouchofchicken.com to my list of potential blog names. It’s nice to have options.

As you can imagine, there were many other searches – some serious, some recreational – but in the end I had to just pick something. So I picked one of my favorite things. Cake. Seriously, this is what I’m left with – cake.

But I do really like cake…so I’ve got that going for me. And if I’m going to brand myself, at least it’s something that I’ll never get sick of. Yeah – cake is pretty timeless. And if you’re going to go with cake, don’t take the pseudo-dieter’s tiny piece with the frosting scraped off. “Oh – just a little piece for me. Just a taste – just a touch.” Go for a big slice with extra frosting (scrape some off the platter and add it to your plate). And while you’re at it – hold out for a corner piece. One with a flower. You deserve it. Never settle for a touch of chicken.