I have a running list in my head of things that fall under the “what not to do” category of motherhood. Not that I’m saying I’m a bad mother. I do many things well. I’ve had uncounted triumphs, moments of genius and mental high fives. But I often fall short as well. At the very least I’ve had to look at myself from time to time and say “not your personal best, Kate.” Here are some examples:
1. I’m that mom who lets my three year old eat Goldfish crackers for breakfast when we’re in a rush – because “it’s just easier that way.”
2. I’m that mom who allows my nudist children run around in underwear all day as long as they stay inside (although I sometimes have to retrieve them from the front lawn).
3. I’m that mom who doesn’t even bother trying to force my kids to eat vegetables at dinner anymore. They eat them for lunch with that magical woman at daycare – so that takes some of the pressure off.
4. I’m that mom who lets my toddlers believe that Tic Tacs are “candy” and that they’re a BIG TREAT. They will find out about Reeces soon enough.
5. I’m that mom who accidentally locked myself and my twins IN my three year old’s bedroom with him on the outside (you can click to read what happened but if not, don’t worry, we all made it out without tragedy).
6. I’m that mom who hoisted my three year old over a chain link fence rather than walk a mile carrying him while his “accident” soaked through my shirt. More on that one another day…
7. I’m that mom who sometimes skips every other page of the longer bedtime stories because I’m tired and hungry for my own dinner which is at that very moment sitting on the kitchen counter getting cold.
8. I’m that mom who may know the children are doing something in the other room that I expressly told them NOT to do, but pretend I don’t see it so I don’t have to deal with it.
9. I’m that mom who will yell at my children and then hug them and tell them how “good” they are. Just to stay consistent…with the inconsistency.
10. I’m that mom who let my three year old grab all of the tampons that fell out of my purse onto the floor of the car – just because it was easier to let him have them than to try to take them away. Then I had to fight him to get them back once we arrived at the grocery store and I discovered that he had systematically opened each of them and ripped them to pieces. THEN I had to explain everything to my husband when he arrived home with wads of cotton clenched in his hands. Yeah…that was me…
I think I’m going to make this a “to be continued” post. I have more to add – but I like to keep my lists down to ten points apiece. (Plus I’m having a busy week at work and don’t have much time to write my usual novels.)
So come back tomorrow for ten more things that make me “that mom.”
Love it. A couple of doozies in there!
I like the top ten format, I’m doing one now (for a guest posting of you-know-who!)
Heheheheh
Some things are just not worth the battle.
Can’t wait for the next installment!
I know I have my own top ten list. Thanks for sharing! =) Those are the things your children will remember when they are grown up, and love you for it.
Dude. I am so with you, especially on #8. But then, to make it better, I yell at them anyway, even though ti was totally my negligence that let it happen in the first place.
I’m also that mom that allowed her 2 year old to wear footie pajamas, everywhere, all the time, for three months. But I waited until she was five to let her have blueberry pie for breakfast.
Ha! If those are your bad moments in parenting, I’d hate to share with you mine. ;-)
I’m the mother who lets her three year old empty all the spices, including the expensive salt, into a bowl to make “cake” because she is too tired to care and then allows the same child to mark on the shower walls with colored pencils.
Let me see, I’m #2, 3, 7, 8, and 9. I’m glad I’m not alone :-) Great post.
we are kindred spirits!
Great!
You should start a meme with this one.
I’m that mom who gives my children Kahlua on their ice cream to help them sleep.
Kidding…maybe…
Thanks, I needed that (especially after a little meltdown of my own tonight). I would like some Kaluha myself.
Been there. Done those. Well, most of them. :)
I too have nudist children who get away with murder when I “don’t know” what’s going on. As for the bedtime stories, as they get older and will notice whole missing pages, I find that it’s quite easy simply to condense on each page. Read every other sentence, or combine sentences together to make the story sound right and hit the key details but not take nearly as long. Works all the time.
Thanks for your visit and comment at my place today!
Oh, I am just horrified. How dare you! LOL… my goodness, I think we could all contribute to a blog about this very subject. I think all those reasons make you a wonderful mom!
I wish I had a magic lady to get my kids to eat vegetables. I have pretty much given up– I’m that mom.
Subtract the tampons and locking myself in a room,a nd I’m pretty much that mom, too. We should start a club.
I could have written this list (with one or two exceptions that I don’t judge you for but had not thought of) – Perfect parenting is a myth.
Oh, and my kids think Strawberries and sugar snap peas are candy. At least you’re giving them breath mints to keep them fresh and kissable.
I see myself in many of those instances you have listed…especially number 7 :)
Love it! I can totally relate to #9. And #3, except my kids don’t eat vegetables at lunch because I make their lunch too. #10 was laugh out loud funny!!
p.s. I refuse to type the acronym for “laugh out loud” I don’t know why that totally bugs me. Just thought you should know.