Yesterday I started a list of reasons that I’m not winning any awards for mother of the year. I had to cut it short because I was starting to feel depressed. Or more accurately, because I wanted to stretch this material for a couple of days to free up more time for work, I mean, my kids. Here are ten more things that make me “that mom.”
11. I’m that mom who threatens my three year old with naps even though he hasn’t napped in over six months and I have no intention of following through.
12. I’m that mom who will finally break down and offer my children candy if it will make them submit to my will.
13. I’m that mom who will bring my kids out to run errands before cleaning the magic marker off of their arms and legs.
14. I’m that mom who says I won’t let my kids taste raw cookie dough because “it’s not good for them” – when what I really mean is that I’m afraid that they’ll find out that it is in fact, much better raw. Then I eat some when they’re not looking.
15. I’m that mom who will let my toddlers play with things they shouldn’t (i.e. our cell phones, the dishwasher, the clean laundry, toothpicks) because I’d rather have them be happy and quiet than screaming while I try to assert my authority.
16. I’m that mom who will wait until Monday morning to realize that I have no clean school clothes for my son and then madly search through the dirty clothes for something that can pass for clean.
17. I’m that mom who will trick her son into leaving the (dreaded) pet store by saying, “I bet John and Cheyenne [John’s dog] will be out playing ball when we get home.” I’d rather deal with the consequences of that later in my own house where it doesn’t smell like gerbil poop.
18. As a continuation of #17, I’m that mom who will let her son believe that we are going to the park or the pet store, when we are actually going to Target or daycare. I don’t TELL him that we’re going where he thinks we are – I just don’t tell him that we’re NOT. So it’s not a lie as much as an omission. Right?
19. I’m that mom who answers my daughter’s thousands of calls for “MOMMY!” with “ELEANOR!” instead of just saying, “what is it honey?” And then she answers my “ELEANOR!” with another “MOMMY!” And because I find this incredibly entertaining I just continue the cycle until we end up enacting a personalized game of Marco-Polo. Except we’re not in a pool. And she knows exactly where I am.
20. I’m that mom who believes that ice cream is the solution for everything. For my children – and myself.
Magic marker and grocery shopping go very well together, thankyouverymuch.
And really, cell phones, dishwasher, clean laundry? Your list of “inappropriate” toys sure sounds like a list of free entertainment to me, lol
And it’s not really “dirty” unless there are visible stains.
… and I seriously love the “Mommy!” “Boopie!” “Mommy!” cycle. Cracks me up.
ha! I love this. My kids always have marker or food or mud or something else gross on them when we go out. I always bribe my children. I phrase it as “rewarding good behavior” or “taking away privledges.” :-) Ditto on playing with bad things or eating raw cookie dough. I hide my favorite candy from my kids, but they can smell it on my breathe. Damn chocolate mint!
Just know I’m with ya! I’m a twisted sista too! Candy, ice-cream, omission of facts – all reasonable.
Very fun post!
I am the air head mother. Just yesterday, I packed lunch for both kids, but forgot to bring utensils. All the other mothers snicker at my air headedness.
This is great. Thanks for making me smile today. Such a funny read. Don’t feel bad. I do many of these things on your list too. Thanks for sharing.
We’ve gotten to the point that we just hand P the remote control for the DVD. He’s going to cry if he doesn’t get it anyway. May as well let him enjoy it, even if it annoys the older kids as they try to watch a movie.
your lists have made my day the past two days – i can only hope that when i’m a mom, i’m as bad@$$ as you are ;)
Think of it this way-you are shaping your children into free-thinking, flexible, fun-loving, outside-the-box adults. All the things I’d love to be. Keep up the good work!
Dude. Check this out from one of my favorite bloggers:
http://simplynutmeg.com/?p=752
Solidarity, baby. ;)
Fabulous. I’m that mom too. And, amen on the ice cream.
Um, I must admit that I’ve done several of these things over the years!
How about, I’m the mom who got up late and her daughter ate sour cream and onion chips and drank a juice box for breakfast AND this was during ISTEP!
We would never get out of the house in the morning if I did not have a candy jar.
#19 is hilarious. I am going to try that.
MMMM ice cream!!!!
AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,a片,AV女優,聊天室,情色