Just a couple of reminders:
You have ONE MORE DAY to enter my drawing for a beautiful vintage fabric clutch from Bee Gee Bags. If you haven’t entered yet – do so now! I’ll do the drawing tomorrow evening after work.
Also – check back next week for a very special Materialistic Monday (that sounds a lot like “a very special Blossom” doesn’t it…this will be much better). I’ll have a short interview with Ontario artist Janet Hill. It will be short because her dreamy images speak for themselves. Can you tell I’m excited about this one?
I’ll be skipping Materialistic Monday this week to participate in a little virtual party of sorts. Thoughtful Issa asked a number of us to contribute our own parenting advice to soon-to-be-mom-of-two, imommy. Even though I was thoroughly made fun of the last time I did something like this, I just really love giving unsolicited advice, I mean imommy.
I thought I’d use the advice column format that my Uncle Dick came up with for this post. So welcome back Oliver and Mrs. Hood!
Dear Mrs. Hood,
I am a 1 1/2 year old boy. About three weeks ago, my parents brought home a couple of babies (I’ve now accepted it – apparently, that’s what they are). We had a rocky start, but Mom and Dad finally seem to be adjusting to the new family dynamic (you were right – soon enough, they won’t even remember what it was like not to have two other children in the house). Here is the problem though. The twins have been plotting to actually replace me. They look innocent, but it’s becoming increasingly evident that they want to usurp my position as the most important person in this family. Seriously, I’ve started watching my back. They demand to be held at all times, which means that I am often asked to play by myself while they are having some bogus need met like ANOTHER bottle or ANOTHER diaper change. Who eats and poops this much? They’re totally doing it on purpose. Also, they pretend they don’t see me no matter how many funny faces I make for them, how many blocks I throw at their heads, etc. They never crack a smile – not even when Mom does that hilarious bit with the bee (that’s really her finger) buzzing around until it attacks your tummy. They barely register any of it. What are they? Robots? (Now THAT’S an interesting idea…) But back to the point. I just find it hard to locate a shred of familial spirit in these “siblings,” and I wonder if they are just biding their time until they can get rid of me altogether. Right now, it’s not looking good. I’m considering telling my friend Jonas to call the police if I disappear. What should I do Mrs. Hood? I just don’t know who to trust anymore.
Sincerely,
Paranoid on the Playground
Dear Paranoid,
First of all – let me assure you once and for all that your newborn twin siblings are not out to get you. It may seem like they are trying to replace you, but that is only because they are now doing all of the things that you once did as a baby. Things that in spite of your obvious “big boy now” status, are still fairly recent for you. The reason that the twins do not seem interested in you is that they can’t see very far, they have very little control over their limbs, and as I’ve told you before, it will be several more weeks before they are even able to smile. It is a known fact that newborn babies can seem rather boring to other small children. They can’t play with you yet, but that will change very quickly. Although it sounds like an awfully long time, in a couple of years, they really will become constant companions for you. And you will appreciate their friendship (well – most of the time…hopefully). In the meantime, you just have to be patient – with your newborn brother and sister AND your parents. My advice is that you are honest with your parents about your feelings. If you’re not comfortable talking to them about it (or if you can’t because – you know, you don’t really speak in sentences yet), write them a letter (based on the same premise as the previous ones that you’ve written to me: that you can actually write a letter even though you are barely able to recite your ABCs.) Tell them that you need them to put aside special time for you when the babies aren’t around. This might be during one of the times that the twins are sleeping and you are not. Maybe each of your parents can take you out at separate times. If they talk to you about how only you can do fun things like play at the park or go out to eat, then they will be reminding you that you are special and could never be replaced by a baby. Inform them that they will have to “baby” you a little too, and let you regress a bit. It’s only natural. This may be the first really hard thing that you’ll ever have to do – but believe me when I tell you that you will be stronger for it. It will create an opportunity for you to start thinking of yourself as a big kid. And all of these accomplishments can be very empowering. Don’t spend another minute worrying about your place in your family. You will always be the first baby – no matter how much of a big kid you are. As long as your parents make time to focus on you, and let you go through some growing pains, you’ll all be just fine.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Hood
If you’d like to see more posts like this (of course you do – what’s more interesting than mommy blogger advice?), go vist: Anymommy, EatPlayLove, ForADifferentKindofGirl, Insta-mom, Issa, Marinka and Psychmama. Those are the only ones I know about – but Issa should have a full list posted.
Poor Paranoid… You gave him excellent advice Mrs. Hood.
Uncle Dick’s format suggestions was a perfect way to handle this post!
Dear Mrs. Hood,
I love your advice column. You’re very wise. Hopefully Paranoid heeds your advice and realizes that he’s still got as much of Mommy and Daddy’s hearts. He’ll be a great big brother and soon will realize how fun it is to have siblings to terrorize – – I mean, PLAY WITH!! ;-)
Love it! The dear Abby to the toddler set! That is so cute! And, very good advice!:)
Oliver – Please do NOT ask Jonas to call the police. He has been waiting to jump on that one ever since he learned the location of 9-1-1 on the phone keypad. You will be just fine!
Great advice! This is cute!
Excellent response Mrs. Hood. Well done! These always make me laugh.
Just wondering, how far apart were Oliver and the twins? Porgie and Izzy were 17 months apart. I think my little girl and Paranoid could have totally related to one another.
Awwww, Kate, thank you! Gotta say that I love the letter format :-) So cute! And some good advice hidden in there… I’ve heard a few times about regressing, and making sure that the older kid gets some extra mom and dad time away from the new babies…. I will take it to heart for sure. Thank you so much for participating in my surprise baby shower! You’re lovely :-)
Loved this letter.
See my oldest would have written that she wanted to send her sister back…which is what she told me for the first two years of her sisters life.
That was hilarious. I will have to notify my son that he has somewhere else to turn for advice. And teach him to write. But you may be getting a letter in about six months.
Love it! I am encouraged to have kids now knowing they’d have an excellent advisor if needed.