Tag Archives: Meme

More Random Things About Me

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As a continuation of the “Twenty Five Things About Me” post from yesterday, here are 12 more things about me:

14. I had an unfortunate short haircut in the fifth grade that made me look like a somewhat chubby ten year old boy. No photographs of me from that time exist. I think I destroyed all of them (and the negatives) when I was a vain teenager.

15. If I’m carrying boxes or bags into the house from the car, I feel compelled to do this in as few trips as possible. One trip is my goal. It is not uncommon to see me staggering up my steps with 20 grocery bags draped over my arms. (And my parking spot is about 10 steps away from my door)

16. As much as I love the internet, I still prefer flipping through magazines and catalogs to scrolling through websites.

17. My mother is my best friend. Even though I did go through a really bitchy phase in high school when I criticized her clothes. According to her, that is. I have no recollection of this, but I’ll take her word for it.

18. Sometimes I say things in business meetings and think “I have no idea what I’m talking about.” Usually people look at me like, “she really knows what she’s talking about.”

19. I love the beach – but I don’t really like swimming in the ocean (see #9 re: sharks).

20. I’m fairly certain that I have the most adorable children ever born.

21. When we were engaged, my husband and I took a dance class and I loved it. Not only did I love it – I discovered that I’m really good at it. It’s a talent that would have gone undiscovered if not for the class. Unfortunately, Chris hated it and our future as the next Fred and Ginger ended before it ever got off the ground. I sometimes have a sick little fantasy that one of my sons will be gay and take me out dancing in my golden years (gay guys do that right? I’ll have to ask one of my gay friends…)

22. I can’t remember numbers in long sequences. It requires a lot of effort on my part to memorize phone numbers.

23. I love travel – especially international travel – but I do tend to get a little nervous on planes. Unless I’m sitting in business class – then I just drink a lot of wine. Once when I was on a flight crossing the Atlantic, we had terrible turbulence. I just kept accepting the drink refills that the the flight attendants were offering and watched the first movie that appeared on my screen. It’s amazing how funny Monster’s Inc. is when you’re wasted.

24. I watched Homeward Bound with my kids about 20 times over the weekend and I always cry at the end when Shadow appears on the horizon – just when they think he couldn’t make it. In fact – I’m tearing up just thinking about it. (If you haven’t seen it before, I apologize for the spoiler.)

25. I usually fall asleep on my back with feet tucked up under my knees (like sitting “Indian style” but lying down). I think this started when I was little and so afraid of the dark that I couldn’t bear to have my feet anywhere near where the covers ended (just in case something tried to reach in). Then it probably had more to do with the fact that my feet are like ice when I first get into bed and this is the only way that I can warm them (unless my night owl husband happens to be in bed early – then I just put my feet on him). I know it looks bizarre – but for some reason I find this position very comfortable.

Not the strongest finish – but I’m having a busy day…

I’m not tagging anyone since I think EVERYONE has done this (or is ignoring everyone that tagged them). But if you haven’t been hit by the 25 Things About Me Facebook tsunami, feel free to say that I tagged you.

So What Have I NOT Told You About Myself By Now?

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Several of my friends on Facebook tagged me for “Twenty Five Things About Me” (and possibly a blog friend or two – but I can’t remember…) Anyway – I feel compelled to do this. So here it is:

Twenty Five Things About Me

1. I have never colored my hair. Not once. Not even highlights. I made the conscious decision to wait until I got older and “had to.” My grandmother once said to me, “dear – I hope you won’t color your hair…I DO think that gray hair can be awfully attractive.” I concurred with her opinion as I was expected to, but in my heart, I knew that I will never go gray. I’ll go RED!

2. I pick favorites among my children. But it changes every 30 seconds – so I figure it evens out in the end.

3. I was the only girl in my high school class who didn’t wear boxers under her uniform skirt. I thought they made me look fat. Sadly this caused a very embarrassing incident for me in The Quad one day when a big gust of Spring air gave all of nearby construction workers a view of my not fat thighs.

4. I dream of having a career that I love. But I only started thinking about this in the past few years. Prior to that I was fairly apathetic about the connection of my job to my sense of identity. Sometimes I wonder if this is a sign of a midlife crisis.

5. I have already confessed to an obsession with recorded books. I listen to plenty of current fiction, but one of my favorite authors for listening is Jane Austen. Even though I have actually read all of her books and know the stories well, I find something very soothing about hearing them read in a clipped English accent. Is it me or do days of nothing but needlepoint and gossip by a roaring fire sound really appealing sometimes?

6. I wish I knew how to do needlepoint or embroidery. I would create fabulous throw pillows and whip up Anthropologie-quality tops out of plain vintage shirts and embroidery thread. I should have learned these skills when I had the time…

7. I like being by myself and tend to treat a night on my own like a personal slumber party. After I put the kids to bed and clean up, I’m all about raiding the refrigerator for junk food, giving myself a pedicure and watching “girl movies.” Of course, my husband doesn’t travel that often – so I might have a different attitude if these personal slumber parties were more frequent.

8. I can’t stand gum. I find it revolting. The way it looks just hanging out in someone’s mouth, the sound of it snapping and even the smell of it. ESPECIALLY the smell of it if it’s fruit flavored or even worse, bubble gum. The smell of bubble gum flavored anything makes me want to pass out. Not to make light of actual torture, which is not funny and a terrible reality from which I am lucky to be sheltered…but seriously, I think you’d have to pull out a few of my molars with pliers before I’d allow you to put a piece of bubble gum in my mouth.

9. I have an incredibly high suspension of disbelief threshold when it comes to books, movies and television story lines, but I do tend to obsess over everyday details that I find a little too unbelievable. For example, I can enjoy pretty much anything from Harry Potter to Lost; but I just can’t get past how the Cosbys had all those kids and a TV in their living room, but their couch always looked so clean.

10. I’m terrified of sharks. A condition that has grown worse as I’ve gotten older. All of those news reports about shark attacks in Florida a few years back didn’t help.

11. This blog is the first real writing that I’ve ever done outside of business documents.

12. My wedding cake was the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life: chocolate cake with fondant icing and a buttercream and marzipan filling. I knew that I wouldn’t get a chance to have any at the reception, so I asked my planner to make sure that there was a large piece waiting for me in my room at the end of the night. This was quite possibly one of the brilliant ideas I’ve ever had in my life.

13. My writing style tends to be a little verbose. So “25 Things About Me” can be loosely translated into “Twenty Minutes of Your Life That You Will Never Get Back.” Therefore I will be breaking this into two posts. Check back tomorrow more for 12 more things about me!

Famous Last Words II

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I have one other meme to post, thanks to my friend Anastasia from The Gift. This one is fairly straightforward. I just have to share seven random facts about myself and then tag seven other people to do the same. Here are “the rules”:

And here are seven random things about me:

1. I can eat a lot. I mean – like a ridiculous amount of food. I have always been able to eat a lot and have amazed people far and wide with this gluttonous prowess. Okay – so that’s a huge exaggeration. But it’s true that I can eat like a lumberjack and I have raised a few eyebrows on more than one occasion. And my “talent” has only been called into question once. The Tombs in Georgetown has (or had – it’s been a while) this amazing chocolate chip cookie pie. I once boasted to some friends that I could eat the whole pie in one sitting. One particular naysayer named Kevin was having none of it. In the course of the debate, I developed a strategy for accomplishing this feat. I did concede that it would be a challenge – but with some training and preparation, I could definitely do it. The way I saw it, I could expand my stomach by eating as much as possible for a week or two. Then my body would be used to consuming large quantities of food in one sitting. THEN, on the day of the “event,” I would fast. So I would be ravenous by the time I picked up my fork. There would be no time limit on the pie eating – so I could pace myself. I’d have to make sure that I didn’t eat too quickly and make myself feel sick, but I would also have to make sure that I didn’t allow myself to start feeling too full before I was done. It wouldn’t be easy, but I felt pretty confident. Of course I never actually did this. That would be gross.

2. I have a very strong loner streak. I LOVE being by myself. I can spend a whole day out running errands and not say one word to anyone (with the exception of the required pleasantries with retail staff). It takes a lot for me to feel lonely. But at the same time, I have many friends and a very active social life – so most people wouldn’t know that I am such a hermit at heart. My children of course, have put an end to any significant amount of alone time. But I’d like to think that this quality will help me survive the inevitable defection of my children once they become teenagers and prefer not to be seen with me anymore.

3. I have infinite patience for children. Even my own. Which is saying a lot. When it comes to other people’s kids – they can do no wrong. I tend to think bad behavior is funny. Mainly because I know that all kids act up every once in a while and assume that whatever tantrum I’m witnessing isn’t a reflection of the child’s everyday personality. While I have to be a bit less understanding of my own children’s bad behavior, I still don’t let it bother me too much. The good always outweighs the bad, so I just power through whatever unpleasant scene they choose to play out. And it helps that as the director, I do have the option to yell “cut” and throw everyone into their rooms for a time out.

4. The most amazing invention that I’ve ever seen is the digital camera. What I mean by this is that the first time I saw one, I was actually “amazed.” We’ve reached a point in history when true technological breakthroughs aren’t all that accessible for regular joes. Computer chips and wireless technology aren’t something that we can see. And even though I’ve had a first sighting of computers, cell phones, microwaves, etc. in my life, that technology developed slowly. It’s not like we went from telling the operator the number we would like to call to picking up a tiny cell phone. Computers have taken a long time to become so slim and portable. But cameras are something else. They’ve been small for a long time. They’ve had fancy features for a long time. But to be able to take a picture and then look at a screen immediately afterward? I had never seen anything like it before. We really did go from polaroid prints to digital images – and that’s a big leap. It’s not everyday that you see something that makes you open your eyes really wide and say, “oh my god – look at that!” So when it does happen, it’s pretty thrilling.

5. I never recognize famous people. I’ve had many opportunities during the time that I’ve lived in cities, and generally have to be informed by someone else that I just brushed elbows with a celebrity. I have a few good stories about this, but the first time that I didn’t immediately recognize a star happened when I was fifteen. I was in New York with my family and we were doing a little window shopping on Fifth Avenue. While in Barney’s, I saw a woman that looked really familiar. She was tall and had tons of hair, and there was something very glamorous about her. Suddenly it came to me. She was the actress who played Hope on Days of Our Lives. I was a big fan of soap operas at the time and was feeling rather starstruck. I surreptitiously followed “Hope” around trying to decide if it really was her. I even got into the same elevator. And there was no denying it. Those high cheekbones and bold eyebrows were too much of a giveaway. Anyway – I was way too cool to ask for an autograph or try to talk to her, so I just perused the nearby racks while she shopped. It was only after she left that I discovered my mistake. The sales girls were all clumped together talking about her, and as I passed I head one of them say to a newcomer, “did you hear? Booke Shields was just here.” Sigh. Nothing has changed. I’m still hopeless when it comes to this.

6. I went to the Top Gun premiere at the Kennedy Center. I grew up in DC and my father was the creative director for an agency that did some kind of promotional work for the movie. It was very exciting. I was around fourteen at the time, and had never been to a black tie event before. As would be expected, everyone was looking for the star, and I was no exception. I loved Tom Cruise (obviously this was before his days of jumping up and down on talk show couches and berating women for using medication to treat post partum depression). At one point I decided to go up to a balcony to see if I could spot his location in the crowd. As it turns out I had been right next to him! I just didn’t realize it. After that, an up close view was impossible. Cocktails were over and the movie was starting. It was fairly anticlimactic – but it was probably the first time that I had the “well what the hell would I say to him anyway?” conversation in my head. That one you have when you see someone famous and debate whether you should approach them or not.

7. I have a killer idea for a gay club. A theme I mean. A gay MEN’S club I mean (although there could be a gay women’s version as well…I’ll have to give that some thought). Anyway – I had this idea a while ago and actually did run it by a few gay guys that I know. They thought it was genius (remember, I’m an idea person – so this should come as no surprise). Sadly, Chris’ reaction to the topic of my amazing idea for a gay bar ranges from eye rolling to obvious fear that I will say something in public and embarrass him (hi honey!). So I don’t think I’m ever going to get this baby off the ground. And now I suppose you want to know idea. Well – I’m not telling. I can say that I’ll never do anything with it, but at the end of the say, I don’t believe in “never.” So if you have a lot of money to invest in a gay bar that is purely theoretical with no business plan of any kind, let me know.

Now – here are seven people that I’m tagging:

1. Carolyn from Carolyn…Online
2. Heidi from Fancy Feet
3. Nicole from Digs and Adventures of an East Coast Chick Turned Midwest Mom
4. Christy from Fiona Foo
5. Kirsten from The Norwindians
6. Connie from The Young & the Relentless
7. Heidi from Life in Pink

If you’ve already done this one, I apologize. If I mistakenly assumed you already have and didn’t tag you – feel free to be an honorary #8. And if you don’t like memes, don’t worry – I understand and won’t be offended if choose to ignore this completely.

Famous Last Words

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I don’t know if they’re famous – but they have definitely been documented and acknowledged. I have gone on record as not liking memes. But I haven’t had much time to think about blogging this week (damn that day job) and I don’t have the will to dredge up anything in the way of inspiration tonight. So Q&A it is!

The first meme I was tagged for came from my favorite blog commitaphobe, Regardez Moi. She has decided to take a blogging hiatus two times in two weeks. AND postponed a guest post for me oh, mmmm….about….TWICE in two months. But what can I say – she is one of my favorite online friends and I think I’d forgive her pretty much anything. And when she decides to reopen the doors of Regardez Moi (which could happen at any time from three days to 30 days) – I will hold her at gunpoint for that damn guest post. I will not be ignored (name that movie – I’ve quoted it before).

So here is my first real meme:

All About Me

10 years ago: I was 26 years old and hadn’t been dating my now-husband, Chris for even a year yet. I can’t remember that much about what I was doing at this time since it was a blur of going out to dinner at restaurants without kids’ menus and meeting friends out for drinks. Oh right – and shopping at stores that don’t carry both women’s apparel AND dog food. It was like heaven, or Eden. Or a Disney movie.

8 years ago: I was 28 and had just gotten married. I was horrified by how much weight I managed to gain on my two week honeymoon in Spain (I mean – it wasn’t a TWO MONTH honeymoon in Spain). Apparently red wine and cheese aren’t diet food. Who knew! I was also vowing to never fly anywhere on Spanair again. I don’t know what it’s like now, but at the time, I explained it as: “I sat down in my seat, and then someone sat in my lap, and then someone sat in their lap…and so on and so on. Like a Breck commercial with no leg room, 30,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean. When one of us wanted to recline and sleep, we all had to recline and sleep. And I wasn’t all that sleepy. I was too busy eating leftover cookies from my reception.

6 years ago: I was 30! I had been 30 since April though, so I was very worldly and jaded about it. Very “been there, done that.” I didn’t mind turning 30 at all. To me it was like being given a youth pill. Suddenly I was in a brand new context. I was in my “thirties” and I was the youngest thirtysomething around. I was like a baby to the thirties…a novice…an ingénue. I’m telling you – this age thing is all about context. Don’t compare yourself to people ten years younger than you. Compare yourself to people ten years older than you. THAT’S the ticket.

2 years ago: I was 34. Feeling like less of an ingénue, but too busy with my 18 month old son and newborn boy/girl twins to care. I may as well have been 94 at that point. I just wanted to sleep. I was on maternity leave and tried to follow the “sleep when the baby sleeps” rule. But guess what? Twins don’t sleep at the same time. So I generally looked like something from one of those Night of the Living Dead movies. And I barely ever left the house, unless I needed to go to Babies R Us. Which actually sounds like the beginnings of a plot for a horror movie – so I was already halfway there. But seriously – newborn twins! It was a magical time.

Five yummy things:
1. Egg nog lattes from Starbucks. I LOVE egg nog – could drink a gallon of it. Grossed out? Good – more for me.
2. Italian ricotta cookies with sugar frosting. I make them every holiday season.
3. Chocolate and heath bar blizzards from Dairy Queen.
4. Honey mustard anything (sandwich spread, salad dressing…anything – I’ll eat it with a spoon).
5. Red wine

Five songs I know by heart [that aren’t on any of my kids’ DVDs]:
1. Blue Bayou by Linda Ronstadt
2. Begin the Beguine (I prefer the Ella Fitzgerald version though, and couldn’t find a link to anything that does it justice. No even to close. So just buy an Ella CD.)
3. Best of my Love AND Desperado (Eagles) – there are more, but those are the ones that I will sing first.
4. September (Earth Wind and Fire) – actually I LOVE Earth Wind and Fire, but this is the only one that I know by heart
5. Beyond the Sea (Bobby Darin)
*I know my answers to this category sound really lame (not ONE song from the past five years) – but I was trying to be honest about knowing all the words. And these were the first five that came to mind.

Five places I would like to escape to [there are TOO MANY – so I’m listing five places where Chris and I have had great vacations]:
1. Spain of course! Andalucia with a long stay in Seville.
2. Quebec City
3. Italy (Anywhere really – but we were only in the Milan area together and we had a lovely weekend in Stressa.)
4. Iceland. No seriously – have you ever been there in March? It’s so cold that pretty much anywhere you go is amazing – if only for the reason that you are just thanking god that you’re not outside anymore. Freezing cold aside, Reykjavik was a fun city and we toured the surrounding area as well (lots of cool Viking history and GEYSERS! Who doesn’t love geysers?) And we went to the Blue Lagoon on our way to the airport. There is nothing like sitting in a hot spring while it’s snowing and people in parkas are walking around. Seems I have a lot to say about Iceland… Either I really loved it or feel defensive about my choice to include it in this list…
5. Rehoboth Beach, DE – but only if my friend Nancy comes with me.
6. BONUS: How could I leave out London – after I just wrote about our fine dining experiences there? I’ve never had a bad time in London (in all of the 2.5 times that I’ve been there I mean). Who wouldn’t love a place where even small children use words like “lovely” and “brilliant?”

Five things I would never wear:
1. Bangs or feathers in my hair (Does hair count?)
2. Boyfriend jeans – especially if they’re pegged (Famous last words again?)
3. Mother/daughter outfits
4. Purple
5. piercings that aren’t in my ears (Ouch! My various body parts hurt just thinking about it.)

Five favorite TV shows:
1. Lost
2. Heroes
(I know – nerd alert!)
3. Brothers and Sisters
4. Ugly Betty
5. Grey’s Anatomy
*I’m very mainstream when it comes to TV. And really girly when I think about it. My old favorites have included Designing Women, Friends, Felicity, Gilmore Girls and Sex & the City. I am on estrogen overdrive when it comes to TV.

Five things I enjoy doing:
1. Reading
2. Traveling (Even the actual travel part – I can read on a plane and listen to a book on tape in the car.)
3. Going out to dinner with my husband (Not that we’ve done that in like three years.)
4. Writing
5. Shopping (This sounds kind of obvious – but I really do love shopping. I’ve never had a runner’s high in my life. But a shopping high? Absolutely.)

Five Favorite toys:
1. Laptop
2. iPod
3. Jewelry and eveningwear (What – you don’t play dress up?)
4. Us Weekly
Okay I’m having a hard time with this one. I don’t really like toys or games. I’m just not a very playful person.

Five people who I am tagging to fill this out:
1. Anastasia at The Gift (to get her back for tagging me on the SECOND meme that I have to do
2. Marinka at Motherhood in NYC
3. Baking with Plath
4. Cyndy at Photocynthesis
5. Jessie at The Lucky Stone

That was a long meme! I’ll have to get to the second one tomorrow. And if you’re interested in doing this one? I tag you as honorary #6.

They’re Writing Memes of Love But Not for Me

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Anyone that has a blog has heard the term “bloggy love.” And I am absolutely on the list of people who like to talk about the other sites I love. I ask people to guest post, I have a list of blogs on my sidebar (one that I try to keep managable so visitors will actually click on the links), and I’ve even participated in a “virtual dinner party” providing links for some of my favorite bloggers.

But the truth is – I generally don’t like memes and awards. That is my Friday Confession – and it’s a big one for someone with a blog. It’s like telling other mothers in your play group that you really don’t like children that much. I may be banned from Blogger for admitting this – but I just don’t care for memes, awards, and most things that could be labeled bloggy love.

I even find words like “bloggy” annoying. I’ve never been one for the cutesy stuff, and anything that ends in a “y” tends to fall into that category. It kinds of reminds me of high school when all of my friends said “awesome” (a lot) and I just couldn’t. It made me feel like I was trying too hard. And this has come full circle since you may have noticed that most people with blogs use the word awesome ALL THE TIME.

Now I’m not saying that I have opinions about other people who love to participate in memes and hand out awards (or overuse the word awesome – without a hint of irony). It’s just not for me. Probably the biggest reason is that I hate making people feel left out. Of course that’s never the point of these things – but it’s an inevitable byproduct.

When I put together my list for the virtual dinner party I made a point of including parameters that would exclude a lot of the people who might expect to be invited. You were supposed to list 10 blogs and I decided to limit it to blogs that I thought wouldn’t be on anyone else’s list (because they were “blogs that may not be read by the people who are participating in the dinner party planning OR blogs that are still somewhat undiscovered”). I included Anastasia from The Gift, Anna from An Inch of Gray, Kacy from Every Day I Write the Book, Jozette from Regardez Moi, Winona from Daddy Likey, Suzie from Up the Hill Backwards, Amy from Doobleh-Vay, and Heather from Dooce (oh yes I did – but you’ll have to visit the original post for an explanation). Then I couldn’t think of anyone else that would fit my “profile” so I left two spots open for crashers.

I did like the idea of directing my readers to other sites that I really enjoy (there you go: bloggy love), but I could only do it if I knew that I wouldn’t offend anyone. In fact, one of my favorite comments ever was made on that post by Melissa, who said, “I’m having trouble with this, too. I don’t want to make either of my two readers upset if I don’t include them.” Exactly! I don’t want to alienate people who actually take time to read my mediocre attempts at writing. That would just be wrong.

So when I see a meme or an award on another blog and I’m not included in the recipient list, I just breathe a sigh of relief. It’s too much pressure to pick a limited number of “favorites.”

And I’ve had some lovely people honor me with an award. First Renee of But Why Mommy gave me the “Brillante Web Blog – Premio 2008” award (oh yeah – and awards seem to always have very bizarre and slightly foreign names). Then Melissa gave me the Premio Arte y Pico award (seriously – is “premio” a word in ANY language?) Finally, Tiffaney gave me an “Este Blog Investe e acredita na…PROMXIMIDADE.” No idea what this is supposed to mean.

These three women are wonderful people whom I’ve enjoyed getting to know online. I took their acknowdlegement in the spirit in which it was offered. But I haven’t always reciprocated. It’s not that I don’t want to – I just find it very hard to do.

I am a little embarrassed about not posting my awards with a list of other blog friends that I like. But it’s kind of a catch 22. If I just never aknowledge them I feel like my community membership may prematurely expire, and when I do join in the fun, I worry about seeming silly and frivolous (because – you know, I usally write about hard hitting topics such as potty training and giving my children candy for breakfast).

But have you noticed the abundnce of links that I’ve included? This is my compromise. It’s also a cop out. I just won’t pick and choose favorites from the many blogs I love. It’s too difficult and I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think this is better though – since I can include several links without actually listing a “top 10.” It’s the perfect solution for me and my paranoia. And you know what we bloggers like to say when we’ve come up with a geat solution to a problem….awesome.

Little Despots

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Just a couple of reminders:

You have ONE MORE DAY to enter my drawing for a beautiful vintage fabric clutch from Bee Gee Bags. If you haven’t entered yet – do so now! I’ll do the drawing tomorrow evening after work.

Also – check back next week for a very special Materialistic Monday (that sounds a lot like “a very special Blossom” doesn’t it…this will be much better). I’ll have a short interview with Ontario artist Janet Hill. It will be short because her dreamy images speak for themselves. Can you tell I’m excited about this one?

I’ll be skipping Materialistic Monday this week to participate in a little virtual party of sorts. Thoughtful Issa asked a number of us to contribute our own parenting advice to soon-to-be-mom-of-two, imommy. Even though I was thoroughly made fun of the last time I did something like this, I just really love giving unsolicited advice, I mean imommy.

I thought I’d use the advice column format that my Uncle Dick came up with for this post. So welcome back Oliver and Mrs. Hood!

Dear Mrs. Hood,

I am a 1 1/2 year old boy. About three weeks ago, my parents brought home a couple of babies (I’ve now accepted it – apparently, that’s what they are). We had a rocky start, but Mom and Dad finally seem to be adjusting to the new family dynamic (you were right – soon enough, they won’t even remember what it was like not to have two other children in the house). Here is the problem though. The twins have been plotting to actually replace me. They look innocent, but it’s becoming increasingly evident that they want to usurp my position as the most important person in this family. Seriously, I’ve started watching my back. They demand to be held at all times, which means that I am often asked to play by myself while they are having some bogus need met like ANOTHER bottle or ANOTHER diaper change. Who eats and poops this much? They’re totally doing it on purpose. Also, they pretend they don’t see me no matter how many funny faces I make for them, how many blocks I throw at their heads, etc. They never crack a smile – not even when Mom does that hilarious bit with the bee (that’s really her finger) buzzing around until it attacks your tummy. They barely register any of it. What are they? Robots? (Now THAT’S an interesting idea…) But back to the point. I just find it hard to locate a shred of familial spirit in these “siblings,” and I wonder if they are just biding their time until they can get rid of me altogether. Right now, it’s not looking good. I’m considering telling my friend Jonas to call the police if I disappear. What should I do Mrs. Hood? I just don’t know who to trust anymore.

Sincerely,
Paranoid on the Playground

Dear Paranoid,

First of all – let me assure you once and for all that your newborn twin siblings are not out to get you. It may seem like they are trying to replace you, but that is only because they are now doing all of the things that you once did as a baby. Things that in spite of your obvious “big boy now” status, are still fairly recent for you. The reason that the twins do not seem interested in you is that they can’t see very far, they have very little control over their limbs, and as I’ve told you before, it will be several more weeks before they are even able to smile. It is a known fact that newborn babies can seem rather boring to other small children. They can’t play with you yet, but that will change very quickly. Although it sounds like an awfully long time, in a couple of years, they really will become constant companions for you. And you will appreciate their friendship (well – most of the time…hopefully). In the meantime, you just have to be patient – with your newborn brother and sister AND your parents. My advice is that you are honest with your parents about your feelings. If you’re not comfortable talking to them about it (or if you can’t because – you know, you don’t really speak in sentences yet), write them a letter (based on the same premise as the previous ones that you’ve written to me: that you can actually write a letter even though you are barely able to recite your ABCs.) Tell them that you need them to put aside special time for you when the babies aren’t around. This might be during one of the times that the twins are sleeping and you are not. Maybe each of your parents can take you out at separate times. If they talk to you about how only you can do fun things like play at the park or go out to eat, then they will be reminding you that you are special and could never be replaced by a baby. Inform them that they will have to “baby” you a little too, and let you regress a bit. It’s only natural. This may be the first really hard thing that you’ll ever have to do – but believe me when I tell you that you will be stronger for it. It will create an opportunity for you to start thinking of yourself as a big kid. And all of these accomplishments can be very empowering. Don’t spend another minute worrying about your place in your family. You will always be the first baby – no matter how much of a big kid you are. As long as your parents make time to focus on you, and let you go through some growing pains, you’ll all be just fine.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Hood

If you’d like to see more posts like this (of course you do – what’s more interesting than mommy blogger advice?), go vist: Anymommy, EatPlayLove, ForADifferentKindofGirl, Insta-mom, Issa, Marinka and Psychmama. Those are the only ones I know about – but Issa should have a full list posted.

A Different "Meme"

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Meme is a term that is new to me. It’s what people call lists of questions that are passed around in a blog game of tag. It’s never been defined for me, but my high school French dictates that it simply refers to giving the “same” list of questions to different people. If this is wrong – please correct me in comments. I won’t be embarrassed since I’ve pretty much passed the point of no return on that front.

There have been a few that looked fun, but I haven’t tried one yet. I did consider a meme that required one word answers to all the questions… Nuff said – not happening here. And I forgot to keep track of where I saw others that caught my attention. So even though I want to try one out – I don’t actually have one…

My good friend Nancy (who really needs a blog by the way), pointed out that one of my advertisers, Tea, will be launching their own blog this Fall, and they’re looking for “writers interested in conversation about raising little citizens of the world.” As someone who has always loved to travel (one of the highlights of my entire existence was a business trip to Beijing), I really like this idea. I want my children to be citizens of the world. I want them to have interesting cultural experiences. I want to visit the countries of our great great grandparents. I want to take my family to restaurants that offer both traditional and fusion cuisines from around the world. But there is one problem. Actually there are three, and their names are Oliver, George and Eleanor.

Oliver is three years old and George and Eleanor are still a few months away from two. So they’re not really the best candidates for intercontinental travel and fine dining. There were six questions posed to us as writers for subject matter in potential blog contributions. I found that I could not only NOT answer them, I couldn’t really imagine how ANYONE with children small enough to wear Tea designs could possibly contribute to such a discussion.

So I’m creating a new meme. It’s called Citizens of the World. Here are the questions and my answers:

Q: Do you know great places to travel abroad with kids?

A: We have no experience in traveling as a family outside of the U.S. but I believe my husband’s take on our flight to Boston for a wedding was “never again.” I don’t think that Paris will be our next destination.

Q: Do you remember what your child thought the first time he/she tried sushi?

A: My children don’t eat anything that isn’t breaded and/or doesn’t involve cheese. So unless someone can come up with a sushi grilled cheese combo – I just don’t think I can answer this question.

Q: Are you celebrating cultural traditions with your family?

A: Well…unless you count doing take out pizza for dinner every Tuesday (HEY – I’m ¼ Italian), then no.

Q: Do you have a funny or memorable story about an international adventure?

A: YES! Where do I start? Oh wait – you mean with the kids. Yeah – no.

Q: Is your child learning another language?

A: My children can barely speak English at this point. But Oliver can count to five in Spanish thanks to all of the TV watching. Yeah Dora!

Q: What are your favorite children’s books that feature images or stories from around the world?

A: Okay – this is a little more in the realm of possibility for us. An all time favorite book in our house is one from my own childhood bookshelf: Come Over to My House written by Theo LeSieg and illustrated by Richard Erdoes. An American boy visits children all over the world and gets to see where and how they live. It’s adorable, surprisingly inoffensive considering that it was written over 40 years ago and has great illustrations and memorable rhyming text.

The truth is – I’m just being snarky. These questions are perfectly reasonable for people who have to travel frequently as a means of visiting family, people who have one child, people who have really well behaved children that are great at entertaining themselves for long periods of time (it could happen), and people who may not travel but do a lot of cultural things within their cities and really make the effort to teach their children about other countries and cultures.

I would like to be this person – but I’m usually such a mess trying to keep up with our daily routine that I’m lucky if I can get everyone to eat one bite of a vegetable. Exotic foods are out of the question. And like I said – air travel with three toddlers is exhausting (for everyone). Small children tend to prefer routine and my kids are perfect examples of that. Sleeping in a new room in a new place translates either to them sleeping in my bed with me or me sleeping in their beds with them. And neither is particularly restful.

But the idea of this is actually very interesting and also motivating. I do want to expose my children to other cultures and encourage them to be inquisitive and curious about how the rest of the world lives. I want them to travel and have those once in a lifetime experiences that I did. I’m not willing to pack them all up for a once in lifetime trip to Beijing right now (that would definitely be “once in a lifetime” since I don’t think any of us would survive the trip). But I can take them to Chinatown. Hey – we used to take Oliver out for dim sum all the time before he decided that he wouldn’t anything that wasn’t covered in melted cheese. So maybe I do have some stories to tell.

I’m challenging myself on this one. I’m gong to come up with a post to submit. Even if it’s not used, I’ll feel more inspired to try new things with my kids and contribute to their illustrious future as citizens of the world. Everyone is invited to join in – I’d love to see the posts you submit. And also feel free to use my meme. It’s not exactly what I had had in mind – but sometimes you have to get out of those same-old same-old patterns and try something different.