Anyone that has a blog has heard the term “bloggy love.” And I am absolutely on the list of people who like to talk about the other sites I love. I ask people to guest post, I have a list of blogs on my sidebar (one that I try to keep managable so visitors will actually click on the links), and I’ve even participated in a “virtual dinner party” providing links for some of my favorite bloggers.
But the truth is – I generally don’t like memes and awards. That is my Friday Confession – and it’s a big one for someone with a blog. It’s like telling other mothers in your play group that you really don’t like children that much. I may be banned from Blogger for admitting this – but I just don’t care for memes, awards, and most things that could be labeled bloggy love.
I even find words like “bloggy” annoying. I’ve never been one for the cutesy stuff, and anything that ends in a “y” tends to fall into that category. It kinds of reminds me of high school when all of my friends said “awesome” (a lot) and I just couldn’t. It made me feel like I was trying too hard. And this has come full circle since you may have noticed that most people with blogs use the word awesome ALL THE TIME.
Now I’m not saying that I have opinions about other people who love to participate in memes and hand out awards (or overuse the word awesome – without a hint of irony). It’s just not for me. Probably the biggest reason is that I hate making people feel left out. Of course that’s never the point of these things – but it’s an inevitable byproduct.
When I put together my list for the virtual dinner party I made a point of including parameters that would exclude a lot of the people who might expect to be invited. You were supposed to list 10 blogs and I decided to limit it to blogs that I thought wouldn’t be on anyone else’s list (because they were “blogs that may not be read by the people who are participating in the dinner party planning OR blogs that are still somewhat undiscovered”). I included Anastasia from The Gift, Anna from An Inch of Gray, Kacy from Every Day I Write the Book, Jozette from Regardez Moi, Winona from Daddy Likey, Suzie from Up the Hill Backwards, Amy from Doobleh-Vay, and Heather from Dooce (oh yes I did – but you’ll have to visit the original post for an explanation). Then I couldn’t think of anyone else that would fit my “profile” so I left two spots open for crashers.
I did like the idea of directing my readers to other sites that I really enjoy (there you go: bloggy love), but I could only do it if I knew that I wouldn’t offend anyone. In fact, one of my favorite comments ever was made on that post by Melissa, who said, “I’m having trouble with this, too. I don’t want to make either of my two readers upset if I don’t include them.” Exactly! I don’t want to alienate people who actually take time to read my mediocre attempts at writing. That would just be wrong.
So when I see a meme or an award on another blog and I’m not included in the recipient list, I just breathe a sigh of relief. It’s too much pressure to pick a limited number of “favorites.”
And I’ve had some lovely people honor me with an award. First Renee of But Why Mommy gave me the “Brillante Web Blog – Premio 2008” award (oh yeah – and awards seem to always have very bizarre and slightly foreign names). Then Melissa gave me the Premio Arte y Pico award (seriously – is “premio” a word in ANY language?) Finally, Tiffaney gave me an “Este Blog Investe e acredita na…PROMXIMIDADE.” No idea what this is supposed to mean.
These three women are wonderful people whom I’ve enjoyed getting to know online. I took their acknowdlegement in the spirit in which it was offered. But I haven’t always reciprocated. It’s not that I don’t want to – I just find it very hard to do.
I am a little embarrassed about not posting my awards with a list of other blog friends that I like. But it’s kind of a catch 22. If I just never aknowledge them I feel like my community membership may prematurely expire, and when I do join in the fun, I worry about seeming silly and frivolous (because – you know, I usally write about hard hitting topics such as potty training and giving my children candy for breakfast).
But have you noticed the abundnce of links that I’ve included? This is my compromise. It’s also a cop out. I just won’t pick and choose favorites from the many blogs I love. It’s too difficult and I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think this is better though – since I can include several links without actually listing a “top 10.” It’s the perfect solution for me and my paranoia. And you know what we bloggers like to say when we’ve come up with a geat solution to a problem….awesome.
I am so glad you wrote this. I have a hard time with the “blog awards” and the whole high school feeling of the blog world sometimes. I just really enjoy reading about other peoples lives and thoughts. Period.
I didn’t have a virtual dinner party, the pressure was just too much. I do however, enjoy memes now and then. And I have only ever been tagged for one. :-)
The word “bloggy” is not awesome.
Me again.
I love the word “link” though. It ranks right up there with click, cleat and crap as one of my favorite words.
I know exactly what you mean. It is so hard! WHen I first started blogging I was so sad that I never received a bloggy award. Now, I don’t really want any because I don’t want to leave anyone OUT! It IS a catch 22.
I just like to surf around and read the blogs I enjoy, and be friends with everyone. Can’t we all just get along? ha.
Would somebody please just give me an award already?
I have 3 awards that I have been tagged for that I have not completed. THREE! I guess I could wrap them all into one post….
I say and write AWESOME alot. I love that word and now my son says it and it is so stinkin cute! It comes out Au thumb! LOVE IT!
I just checked the thesaurus and have come up with an alternative…..EXCELLENT!
Na, it’s just not me!
Hmmmm since I just discovered blogs when Kate guest posted on one last year, and I don’t have one of my own, I had no idea about memes and awards…but I’m with Kate, the word bloggy is weird. I do however love the word awesome and use it all the time. Now I’m sure I’ll notice it whenever I read it in a blog!
I guess you and me both’s blogs readership will expire because I don’t do memes or blog awards either and I really don’t mean to offend anyone by this revelation either. I honestly just don’t think I could keep up.
And I love cake!! Always go for a big corner piece.
GREAT post and confession!
There are so many fantastic things about the blogging community but one thing that does seperate people sometimes is the awards and memes thing.
I just love wondering around and reading and commenting on blogs that I find some connection with and writing about things I care about and have other people connect to me…the rest, as they say, is icing on the cake! :)
I fully understand this. I don’t mind the blog awards and links and all that jazz. But I rarely do meme’s and I refuse to have a blog roll. I don’t want anyone to feel like I am not reading them, just because I somehow missed including them.
I hope our virtual dinner party becomes a reality some day.
Now, see,I love the word “awesome.” But I use it in every day life ad nauseum. I also wear converse high tops and eat lollipops, so maybe I’m really still just 10.
The whole award/link/blogroll/meme thing has to be worked out personally. Bloggers end up all over the place on that question. I think you just have to figure out what gives you peace and hope for the best. You seem to be coming from a good place with it all.
I think you have put way too much thought into this Kate.
And one more thing: your writing is not mediocre! It’s superb! Okay, and another thing: your blog is AWESOME!
I have to confess that I love the word awesome as well. It’s a fundamental part of my vocabulary. I can’t stop using it, not even for you.
I completely get the meme/award/bloggy love dilemma. Great confession!
good post babe- It is hard out there for a blogger! :) I am so glad and honored I was invited to yr party still!
I feel the same way too. I am so honored and really touched when someone includes me, but then the panic and dread set in. I’m relieved to know someone else feels the same way.
i’m so with you on this one. i’m feeling cranky and swollen today so i’ll just leave it at that so i don’t come off as a beetch. :)
I know what you mean when it comes to meme’s I don’t do them either..I did like one and then everyone wanted me to do a meme…so I don’t do them either..but an award..sure I will take those..LOL….thanks for the shout out on your blog…I really did not what the award meant to much either..LOL..have a great night! :)
oh, so that means you don’t want to do the ridiculously long meme I tagged you for? hey, no complaints from me. I love the “love” of getting tagged but always get a knotty stomach when it comes to tagging others. so take this as your “get out of tagging free” card from me.
I love the Cake!