Ever get bizarre spam e-mails that are obviously written by someone who doesn’t speak English? I mean e-mails that are supposed to be written in English of course, but you have to assume that the spammers are sitting with their translation books and no working knowledge of English grammar when they draft these gems.
I think it’s safe to say that if you have an e-mail address, you get spam. But aside from a few rogue financial support requests from Nigeria or compelling anatomical enhancement promotions, most of this junk mail gets caught in spam filters. So the few that do slip through the cracks are easy enough to spot and delete.
The other day I got what appeared to be an e-mail from my friend Roberta. Now if I had been paying attention to the subject line (“Nice shopping for you!”), I would have realized that it was spam. But I just saw her name and opened it. Here is what it said:
Nice shopping for you! i would like to introduce a good company who trades mainly in electornic products. Now the company is under sales promotion, all the products are sold nearly at its cost. They provide the best service to customers, they provide you with original products of good quality, and what is more, the price is a surprising happiness to you! It is realy a good chance for shopping. just grasp the opportunity, Now or never!
I love this SO MUCH that I am actually going to include a link to their site: Click here – IT’S NOW OR NEVER! [Update: I took out the link. A very smart friend pointed out that it’s probably not a good idea to have this kind of link on my blog – not knowing where it comes from and all… My judgement isn’t always the best.]
This gets funnier every time I read it. And it’s funniest if I read it out loud, in character. I decided this after reading it to my husband. To actually get into character, I imagine a very earnest young Chinese man (“surprising happiness” reminds me of fortune cookies) possibly on a late night infomercial from the 80’s. But I don’t actually do an accent. Because, you know – that would be in bad taste.
I have been thinking about this e-mail message for days now. The words “surprising happiness” pop into my head frequently, and they make me feel kind of…happy. I mean – who would think that spam mail could be so pleasant? But for some reason this one is. I love the idea of surprising happiness. Because, honestly, I find that most of my happiness in life is somewhat unexpected.
I’ve never been much good at the sappy, Hallmark card moments. I tend to feel embarrassed and unsure of myself – and far too aware of any eyes that might be watching. Sure, I know what to say and do, but it’s like reading a script, and I just feel like a big fake. I do much better with peripheral moments that don’t involve expectations for emotions or reactions. I don’t mind the spotlight – but I’d prefer haunt the perimeter.
I’m probably one of the few people I know who would rather be a bridesmaid than the bride. I’ve done both, and I’ll tell you right now that the bridesmaids have far more fun. They get to lounge around eating the food that everyone tries to push on the bride. They get to sneak in a cocktail before the ceremony. They get to spend the entire reception on the dance floor without any concerns about greeting every friend and relative to thank them for coming. You get all of the perks of being in the wedding party, but none of the stress and responsibility of the bride. None of the expected Hallmark tears of joy that I can just barely squeeze out on command.
So in wandering awkwardly away from the more mainstream contexts for happiness, I inevitably bump into random moments of humor, interest and tenderness. Random happiness. Surprising happiness.
Sometimes it’s a facial expression of my husband’s that makes me laugh. Sometimes it’s a story that my mother tells me. Sometimes it’s the sight of my twins holding hands as they walk down the stairs. And sometimes it’s the realization that my three year old has decided to disrobe in the car while I’m driving. Whether it’s something that makes me laugh, cry or just feel incredible joy – it’s all the more special for being unexpected.
You never know when you’ll have a moment of surprising happiness. So you have to be ready to drop what you’re doing and just embrace it. Some of the best things in life are fragile and fleeting. And that’s what makes them so precious and worthy of our undivided attention. There will be many moments of surprising happiness in life. And no two are ever the same, so you really do have to “just grasp the opportunity.” It will always be “now or never.”
Great post. It made me happy.
This post was suprising happiness for me. I never realized it until you said it, but I feel the same way since I had kids.
Those are the two words that jumped out at me too. Surprising happiness. I think I’ll start using those too.
Surprising happiness is the best kind.
You know you’ll be happy opening presents on Christmas and that is nice. But when you get that unexpected gift of happiness on a Wedenesday afternoon it is really wonderful.
I love it! My dog has recently started paying me more attention in the evenings (he used to only hang out with my husband when we are all in the house together) and for me, this is a surprising, but happy, turn of events. A little bit of surprising happiness in my day! I love your serious posts just as much as your side-splittingly (is that even a word?) funny ones!
“Surprising happiness”
I like that
That’s one of the better-written pieces of spam I’ve seen. Very nice!
Sometimes I wonder if this is what will happen with all my international students studying English. Surely one of them will go on to write English publicly and poorly.
I love surprising happiness! I’m also a Now or Never kind of girl, a risk taker!
This was a lovely way to start my day!
I think you just gave some “earnest young Chinese man” some surprising happiness by linking to his (??) site.
Very nice thoughts Kate!
I love surprising happiness
Loved this post. You are right most of the happiest moments come at unexpected times.
Thought you might like this post.
http://revengeoftheadjectivenoun.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html
Sorry the link didn’t paste well…just go to revengeoftheadjectivenoun.blogspot.com
It is in the archives for Aug 2008.
It made me laugh!
The sight of the twins coming downstairs holding hands, even in my imagination, gives me enormous surprising happiness. I love this thought. You give me surprising happiness every day.
Love, Mom
I’ll have to remember that phrase.
I also like getting some of those emails. Right now, I appear to be on Vladimir Putin’s mailing list. Makes me feel kind of important.
I wonder if his emails will give me a window to his soul?
This morning I found surprising happiness in watching Porgie and Izzy fight over EVERYTHING SINGLE TOY in the playroom. Who knew that watching two kids play tug-of-war could be so entertaining?
Great post!
Kate, you made my day.
I feel the same way: Faced with those loaded, superimportant emotional moments, I just lose my ability to be … human. My smile feels plastered on, I stammer, it’s really appalling. I’d much rather let happiness sneak up on me and bite me in the butt.
What a good reminder to pay attention when those moments of surprising happiness occur.
Here’s to fortune cookie insights!
Love this! Great advice!
Ah, I wish this for us all: surprising happiness. Very nice, Kate!
My husband is out of town for work, leaving me to slave away with the two kiddos alone (yeah yeah, he’s paying the bills blah blah) and Asher is still grumpy and I don’t get much sleep, but you know what? I had one of these random extra happy moments today. Asher and I were walking into Target (happy place) and the snow was falling and he just freaked out with excitement and the snow was catching his eyelashes and my soul just welled up. Sigh. My cup runneth over. :)
I loved this post. Loved it. Gorgeously written. Funny and sweet and poignant. I felt every bit of it.
Great post!! :) Surprising Happiness… love that! :)
I received the same email with a different subject line. It somehow sent the message out to everyone on my ‘contacts’ list.
Apparently it has a habit of not only forwarding this nonsense to all contacts, but then takes the liberty of wiping out the victim’s Gmail address book.
Your girl Roberta may have had to rebuild her address book from scratch. In my case, it was a Hotmail account that was compromised and the contacts were left in tact. I just wish I knew how it happened so I could prevent it from happening again.