This week’s Friday Confession is a little anecdote from my single girl in the city days. I once stalked a Leonardo DiCaprio look alike. But in my own defense, I did it for a friend. And we were in our 20s.
This friend of mine had a Leo obsession that bordered on pathological. It manifested sometime after What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and before Titanic. One day when I was at her apartment, I found one of those Teen Beat-esque biographies that are published for twelve year olds. There are no words that adequately describe the mortification I felt on her behalf. I even asked her how she was able to purchase the ridiculous item without dissolving into a puddle of shame in the check out line (or at the very least announcing to anyone with a clear view of her that she was buying it for her tween-age cousin). But her love for Leo transcended such pedestrian concerns. So we just left it at that.
Knowing all of this, I was not surprised by her explosive reaction when we happened to see what looked like Leo himself making his way through the crowd at the Toledo Lounge one Friday night. Now, I love my hometown DC and I had just as many good times in Adams Morgan as I ever did in Manhattan – but seriously, the chances of Leonardo DiCaprio showing up there on a random Friday night with an equally random group of friends was beyond slim to none. In the midst of her Leo lust, my friend did not take this perspective and would have hit the floor if I hadn’t caught her mid-swoon.
It took me all of three seconds to conclude that it must be Leonardo DiCappuccino, the much talked about Leo look alike that worked at a DC-area Starbucks. But my friend refused to give up hope until we had gotten a better look and made sure that this wasn’t in fact destiny handing her the celebrity of her dreams on a silver platter. And by “we” I mean “me.” My friend was far too agitated to walk, let alone conduct stealth reconnaissance. And by “stealth reconnaissance” I mean “embarrassingly obvious stalking.”
I must say – as far as friends go, I’m a peach. I followed the most likely DiCappuccino version of Leo upstairs and walked the length of the aisle and back to make sure I got a good long look. I was rewarded with a self-satisfied smirk from DiCappuccino and enjoyed the sound of derisive male guffawing and rude remarks as I made my way back through the crowd as quickly as humanly possible.
“Yeah – it’s not him. It’s the Starbucks guy,” I told her. While disappointed, she expected as much having had some time to come to the same realistic conclusion during my absence. But seeing as DiCappuccino was the next best thing to DiCaprio (at least in DC), she toyed with the idea of getting a table upstairs. I told her that the only way that I could ever again make eye contact with that conceited a-hole would be if I was ordering a latte.
Truthfully – I didn’t really say that last part, I just thought it. What I actually said, probably ran along the lines of “let’s leave now and never come back.” The things I do for my friends…
HA!
Things brings back some memories. I once had a huge crush on the lead singer in a Rolling Stones cover band – it was the cloest to Mick I was ever gonna get.
I can so relate.
*blush*
Oh, I am all about the celebrity husband stalking. But the real thing… the look-alikes don’t do much for me.
BTW: Leo DiCappuccino? GENIUS name!
I love celebrity stalking stories.
I did once see the real Leo in my neighborhood crossing the street on his bike. He was super hot.
Too funny. And too funny that we both wrote about celebrity stalkings/sightings today. hehe.
i remember that night – one of the many memorable nights out in dc.
I would have marched right into Starbucks and ordered a ridiculously complicated drink, like really fast. That’d show him! I’m petty like that.
Leo DiCappucinno = hysterical!
gI HAVE TO KNOW WHO! CAll me at work.
Leo DiCapuccino is hysterical! When he is nominated at the Golden Globes for best actor, that’s all I’ll be able to think of.
Mom
OMG. Yeah. We have ALL been there.
I loved it.
You are a good friend. My sister and I followed Dennis Quaid through the airport for 20 min….I don’t even know why we did it. We just figured, it’s Dennis Quaid let’s follow and watch him. So weird.
You get the awesome friend award.
Leonardo DiCappucino. Absolutely hilarious.
Leo DiCappucinno– That’s cracking me up!
Don’t you hate it when you think of something brilliant to say– after the fact? The good news is, you can now blog about it! :)