The other morning, I took my almost three year old twins to the Fairfax County YMCA for the first time. As younger siblings who spent two years in daycare, they’re generally pretty good about entering new environments. It’s rare that they cling to me when there is such obvious fun to be had.
And what could be more fun than a kids’ gym complete with coloring tables, obstacle courses and a bounce house? Apparently, whatever I was leaving to do. Because my people-person daughter decided to be shy and demand that I take her with me.
I had to peel her off my leg and promise that I’d only be gone for a little while. That I’d be right back and of course, that she’d have SO MUCH FUN while I was gone.
Then I just hoped for the best.
Having never worked out there before. I was surprised and pleased to see that the cardio area backed up to a balcony overlooking the kids’ gym. How convenient! I could peek over to see how my abandoned children were faring.
I made sure to stand about five feet away from the edge. Then on tiptoe, I lifted my chin high enough to just peer over.
When I located them sitting at the coloring table, it seemed Eleanor had calmed down and was starting to enjoy herself.
Within two seconds, George looked up and locked eyes with me.
Then the screaming began.
It’s like they just knew…
How do they do it? Tap into this direct line to our psyches? They know exactly what we don’t want them to do without us having to say a word. They know exactly where we are no matter how quiet we try to be. The minute we decide to take a break…to have a private moment…to go to the bathroom. Their little prairie dog heads pop up out of their self absorbed play. Little ears perk up…little noses sniff the air…. What is that? That sound…that smell…that odd vibration…that change in the atmosphere…? I know – it’s mom trying to get away from us! Well, we can’t let that happen, now can we….
They just know.
But it goes beyond wanting attention. It’s a constant. An unseen umbilical cord that can’t be cut. Any move we make away from them, no matter how infinitesimal…
They just know.
After a long night of getting tiny teeth brushed, forcing unwilling limbs into pajamas, reading bedtime stories, running up and down the stairs with glasses of water and favorite stuffed animals, conducting search and rescue missions for missing blankies and pacifiers, cleaning up dinner dishes, folding laundry, putting away toys, and getting lunches ready for the next day… At the very moment that you fall into bed, your pillow offering the sanctuary and rest that you’ve been craving for hours…a child cries, “mommy!“
They just know.
Waking from an restless doze on the edge of a toddler bed, you slowly lower yourself to the floor. Core muscles tighter than those of any master pilates instructor, you hold balance defying yoga poses for minutes at a time as your child shifts, rolls over, sighs and half opens their eyes. After you’ve crawled, rolled and slithered your way out of the room, you slowly close the door, wincing as hinges squeak and floorboards creak. But even the echoing click of the latch doesn’t wake the sleeper. You’ve done it. You’re steps away from your bed now – almost home free. Free…two…one… “MOMMY!“
They just know.
Feeling a bit peckish, you decide to indulge in a piece of contraband Halloween candy. They’re busy playing. They won’t notice if you disappear for a minute. Employing near surgical skill, you slip that tiny Twix out of the plastic pumpkin without displacing a single Snickers. No rustles or crackles of any kind. You are the cat burglar of candy. Finally in the in the bathroom with the light off, you break the seal of the wrapper. And suddenly, a knock at the door, “mommy I want chocolate.”
They just know.
You need to look good. No – not just good. For this meeting/interview/luncheon, you have to look great. Put together. Confident. And after an hour-long wardrobe crisis, you finally pull out your favorite sweater. It’s a no brainer really. Why hadn’t you just put that on in the first place? Wishing you hadn’t wasted all of that time, you only have minutes for a quick cup of coffee and a piece of toast. The jelly slides off the bread, just missing your clothes and hitting the table instead. Breathing a sigh of relief, you pick up the baby to put him in his play yard. You think, “maybe I shouldn’t be doing this without a towel…we just burped him though…and he’s practically sitting up on his own now…he probably…he won’t….oh crap.” Of course he spits up all over your shoulder. What were you thinking?
They just know.
My mom has always said that children are so connected to their mothers that they can almost read our minds. And sometimes I believe her. From knowing what you’re thinking to picking the exact wrong moment to puke on you, they just know.
Not very convenient when you think you might sneak in some computer time while dinner is cooking and everyone seems to be happily entertaining themselves in another part of the house. Just a few minutes to catch up on e-mail, check favorite blogs, peruse the J. Crew sale….”Mommy! Where are you?“
Sigh.
But then you have a terrible day. Your boss claims that you aren’t putting in enough hours when as it is, you barely get home in time to put the kids to bed. Or you realize that you lost your grandmother’s gold bracelet – the one she gave you for your high school graduation, just weeks before she passed. Or you get the dreaded call that one of your parents is sick. You just want to climb into bed and never get out. You’re exhausted by life. Disappointed by the lot you drew back when you should have known that the game is fixed… You’re inconsolable.
Then your baby smiles at you for the first time. Your special needs child astounds you with an unexpected developmental leap. Your picky eater tries something new. Your nose picker asks for a tissue… “Mommy – I love you.“
Sometimes, they just know.