All over the world, parents are lovingly and laughingly filling pages of baby books with notes on “firsts,” milestones and those adorable things that our children do and say.
For me, the things that they say are the best. Almost all children have a first smile, but not all children look you in the eye and with all seriousness mimic that catchphrase that you didn’t realize you overused. Almost all children make their first attempt to grab at a toy, but not all children send you into fits of silent laughter when they mispronounce an innocent word in a way that makes it sound decidedly dirty.
But I’ve been finding that my children aren’t the only unintentional comedians in our house. I catch myself making bizarrely hilarious statements of my own on a daily basis.
And don’t we all? Don’t we all catch ourselves yelling things that don’t make sense – or only make sense in the context of our own family’s personal language and culture?
My guess is that we miss half of our own journal worthy gems while caught up in the moment. Because they really are so fleeting – and they really do make sense at the time. It’s only later, out of context that they sound so silly…outrageous…ridiculous…
Over the past year, I’ve recorded some of mine. Here are a few of my favorites.
Boys witthout pants can’t go outside.
You can’t be naked – the floor is too dirty.
Be gentle with the inchworm…you’re scaring him.
You guys – DON’T hug the mannequins.
Okay – you can help…but you have to wear underwear. It’s like – my only cooking rule.
Oliver, honey, please stop kissing the mannequins.
Hey! Naked people stay inside! NAKED PEOPLE STAY INSIDE!
George – do NOT spit that out. I want you to swallow. I mean it – you swallow. Don’t spit! Swallow!
We NEVER pee on people.
Come on George! It’s time to go. No more playing in the closet – we have to leave. No – I’m serious – it’s time. Get out of the closet now. I said now. I said it’s time to come OUT of the closet George!
Any of these sound familiar? At least one right?
Well break out those baby books and add a new section. Because as much as the “first time Billy tried blueberries” story brings a smile to your face, that “time that mommy yelled, ‘I said put your penis back in your pants!’ in public” story is a classic.