A year ago, we visited my Aunt and Uncle in New Jersey. They live on a block of lovely little houses that happens to be positioned behind a large public high school. And directly across the street from their front door is a driveway that leads to all of the playing fields and tennis courts. A perfect venue for entertaining your three year old while your two year old twins take an afternoon nap.
So on that Indian Summer Saturday afternoon I walked hand in hand with Oliver down the driveway and into a wonderland of bleachers and dusty pitcher’s mounds. While it was already quite a distance for Oliver’s little legs, he heard the siren call of tennis balls hitting clay. So we went even further into the school grounds to watch the tennis lessons and recreational matches going on.
At this point, any games that may have taken place had ended so aside from the tennis courts, the fields were fairly deserted. We (he) could run up and down pathways between the chain link and exclaim over the very exciting ball smacking going on everywhere we looked.
After an hour of tennis, we took an abandoned ball over to the bleachers and played a complicated game of catch that involved jumping down, climbing up and throwing the ball far out of the catcher’s range just to watch them (me) run.
Needless to say, after an hour and change, we were exhausted. It was time to go.
About halfway across the playing fields, Oliver’s stubby little legs gave out and I was given the option of sitting down on the ground with him or picking him up and carrying him. Since I was used to hauling that big boy around on a regular basis (mainly to make him submit to my will – but same-same), I scooped him up with ease and made my way back down the driveway that led to my Aunt and Uncle’s house.
What I didn’t expect was to find an almost 6′ tall chain link fence blocking our path. Apparently, the gate is locked for the day once school activities conclude, and that time must have passed while we were climbing bleachers. I was feeling rather nonplussed since I didn’t even realize that there was a gate. But there it was…
And there we were… Tired, hungry and wet. Although Oliver had been potty trained for a while, I realized that I must not have taken him to the bathroom before leaving the house (a rookie mistake that I still make on a regular basis). So of course, he had an accident. Which was at that moment soaking through my shirt.
The only other way to exit the school grounds was on the other side of the tennis courts. Which would require about a mile walk around the huge block back to our destination. Holding an exhausted 50 lb. three year old. With pee pee soaking through my shirt…
I looked at Oliver. Then I looked at the chain link. Then I looked behind us at the tennis courts. Then I looked again at the chain link. Then I finally looked at Oliver, let out a long resigned breath and said, “yeah – we’re going to have to go over.“
And how does one go about hoisting a small child over a chain link fence? In my case, not very well…
First I explained the process to him, “okay Oliver – here’s how it’s going to go down. I’ll hold you up as high as I can over my head, and then you are going to throw your legs over the top of the fence. Then I’m going to dangle you over the other side, and count to three. When I get to three, I’ll let go, and you will jump to the ground. Sound good?“
After receiving a blank stare for confirmation, the plan was set. It was go time.
As it turns out, lifting 50 lbs of dead weight over your head is not as easy as it sounds. And Oliver was no help at all. Seriously, no initiative whatsoever – you’d think he was a child or something… But somehow, I managed it. And in less than a minute with only minimal scratches from the jagged fence top, he was dangling just a few feet over freedom.
I’ll admit that he didn’t quite stay on his feet when I dropped him, but he scrambled back up quickly enough (mommy’s little trooper) and received me with open arms – the better to climb me with – as soon as I joined him on the other side.
The rest of our walk home involved a very short trek through some underbrush due to ANOTHER chain link fence. Honestly – what are they keeping in that high school? The Hope Diamond? But this one seemed to just block cars from the driveway and much to our relief, we could make our way around it.
As soon as we arrived back, we changed into clean clothes and told our story to a spellbound crowd of admirers (or to a few horror struck relatives…potato-potahto…) But alls well that ends well, I say.
I did consider fudging the truth, but we moms sometimes wear our poor parenting moments like badges of honor. Even if they just serve as a reminder of where improvement can be made: “right – never doing that again.” And for the record, no – I have never lost my mind and tried to toss a child over a chain link fence since.
*Oliver is starting Kindergarten on Tuesday, September 7th, and I’m devoting this and next week to posts I wrote about him and his special needs. It helps me to re-read these and see how far we’ve come. It gives me even more hope for the future and reminds me of why I’m so proud of my son. Worry about the future will always take a back seat to that feeling. I wrote this one in October 2009, and while it’s not “Special Needs” related, it makes me laugh. Thought I’d end the week with a little levity…
Love this story! Love the way you wrote, it, too! Also, I can totally relate to the dead weight thing. Michael was only 27 pounds when he finally learned to walk (tho I did often carry him even after that) but he felt much heavier b/c he just didn't carry any of his own weight himself. It was like carrying a bag of groceries. Only he was a lot cuter. :)
I could not begin to carry a 50 pound child any distance at all. For mine it would have been walk or stay there!
I would have done the same thing! You gotta do what you gotta do, though, right?
I SO dig you even more for chucking your kid over the fence. It is something I would totally want to do, but end up chickening out because MY 50+ lb daughter would freak the f*** out.
You rock lady… completely and totally rock!
this which cute and honest and so genuine i gave you one of my weekly awards, which you can collect whenever you want.
thanks for sharing!
I chuckled reading this! Great post.
I thought you were a great mom for playing ball in the bleachers for an hour. I would totally have opted to haul his pee-soaked body over the fence, too.
Gremlin starts K on the 15th. They will both be great!
Love this story – both of you get to be commended for your fence jumping skills. And, Yay! for kindergarten!
Oh sweet friend, I hope the starting of kindergarten goes well – for both of you. I do believe it is always worse for the mom.
And this story was great. He's a lucky lad to have a mom teaching him such excellent problem solving skills:)
I remember all of these stories, everything that you've been posting for the last while. All written so well and with such feeling.