The other night, we were in the middle of our evening routine (dinner for kids, baths for kids, bedtime for kids, bottle of wine for parents) and had the conversational equivalent of a wardrobe malfunction.
It was Eleanor’s turn (we’re still doing separate baths since Oliver goes to bed later and George…well – the explanations are boring and not based on any real logic – we just do it that way most of the time). Anyway – Chris agreed to do the bath while I cleaned up the kitchen, and he brought my daughter over for a goodnight kiss.
I said something about it being bath time and she tossed back the house party line, “no.” I explained that she had played outside that day and that her legs were so dirty that I could wet my finger and write my name in the filth (kind of like what people to do my – I mean – dirty cars). Actually – I didn’t say that to her because she wouldn’t have any idea what I was talking about, you know, not being two yet and all…but it’s good imagery for the amount of grime she had acquired during the day.
The rest of the conversation went like this:
Me: Okay – I love you – night night.
Eleanor: No!
Me: Yes – you need a bath. You are SOOO dirty. You have to clean up.
Eleanor: NOO-HOO-HOOO-HOO!
Me: YE-HEH-HEH-HESS! You are too dirty. You HAVE to take a bath.
Chris: That’s right – cause you’re a dirty girl.
(long pause as parents take in the words that seem to inflate like giant porn balloons in the air between them)
Kate: Don’t ever say that again?
Chris: Yeah – that didn’t sound good…
thanks for the laugh. My hubby and I are continually having moments like that. Well, when he isn’t 1,700 miles away, that is.
This one made both Matt and I laugh out loud – haha! Very funny!
That is too funny.
So funny. We’ve had so many moments like this.
Great story! Love the “porn balloons” visual…
Ha! I can’t believe you give them separate baths. I always wash Porgie and Izzy together – even though Izzy poops in the tub at least once a week. So gross.
Seriously…I am counting the days until the twins can bathe together, because oh my freakin’ heck, THREE baths! You are a champ.
And pretty dang funny.
LOL! yeah, i was reading it while on the phone with my sister. After me busting up laughing, i had to read it to her & she snorted! we needed the laugh. Thanks. =]
That is funny. Poor Chris.
aaaaaaaahahahaha. you guys are great. that made me laugh so loud.
I heart your nighttime routine.
And I’ll confess – I accidentally said the same thing about my daughter just a few months ago!
We also had the requisite awkward silence.
LOL, I blame TV!
Those moments are so awkward and yet so funny!!