Tag Archives: I Love My Friends

Segue into…

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I hate abrupt changes of subject. Not so much the change in topic…maybe just the tone.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all about the tangent. So that’s fine. But one minute crying about serious matters – the next minute laughing about inconsequentials? It just doesn’t feel right to me.

So before I get back to my typical blog posts about my children and my wrinkles, I wanted to create some kind of bridge between last week and this week.

I won’t be writing about my friend Anna anymore. And I feel like I have to say something about this because I did write THREE posts about her. I wasn’t planning to do that, but one was a first reaction, the next was an attempt to do something supportive and the last was basically a letter to her. Each had a different purpose, but now there is nothing left for me to do or say here.

Feel free to add a link to the “For Anna See” post at any time – it’s there for everyone. And don’t feel strange about your own sudden change of topic. I know that you still care. Because I do.

Sometimes I really hate that saying “life goes on.” But it’s true for everyone. And as much as I will be emotionally invested in this for a very long time, my blog is not the appropriate place to talk about it.

So here? Life will go on. Just like it does everywhere else. I’ll talk about silly inconsequential things. I’ll even complain about my children. And I won’t feel guilty about it because that’s just something we do. It’s okay. We all know that none of that takes away from the bigger picture.

We all love our children. And we all die a little inside when we hear about a child lost. Because it could have been ours. It still could be. It’s terrifying.

But here is what we do… We cry. We feel sad and scared. We try to help. We feel so lucky that this time it didn’t happen to us. We accept that it could in the future. And we feel very, very grateful for this one more day with our children. Because they are all so precious – days, children, days with them… We know. We appreciate that.

And then we change the subject. Because life goes on. There is a time and a place for everything. And this is no longer the time or place for grief.

I will never stop caring. But I will stop talking about it here. I’ll be silly and irreverent and I’ll even say things that sound ungrateful – because I’m not. I’m very serious about how grateful I am. For everything that I have – for this one more day. And I know that you are too.

Loss

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All week I’ve meant to post something here. I’ve got pictures and anecdotes and any number of frivolous items to relate…but I can only think about one thing today.

A good friend just lost her beautiful 12 year old son.

It’s awful.

When you read about loss, it makes you sad. But when it’s someone you know – a child you know – it’s beyond heartbreaking. It’s unreal. Could that really have happened? Can’t we just go back 24 hours and make it NOT have happened?

It’s not just sad. It’s ugly and cruel and it shouldn’t have happened.

But it did.

To someone who has made my corner of the world a better place. I love her. She is always in my heart – but today she’ll also be in my prayers.

I don’t pray a lot…but she does. And I know that this is all that she would want from me. Prayers.

Please add yours.

For my friend. And her husband and daughter. And that beautiful boy they love so much.

My Second trip to San Diego this Summer…

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…was very different from the first. A friend (I think it was Christy) once told me that you go on trips with your children and take vacations without them. So as much as I loved my first “trip” to San Diego this summer, my second visit proved this sentiment to be apt.

Because that is exactly how I viewed my trip to BlogHer. I didn’t go to connect with brands (although it’s almost impossible not to do some of that!) or to learn the latest and greatest social media venues and strategies. I went to see friends, have dinners at restaurants without kid menus, wear heels before sunset and sleep in the middle of my own bed without ONCE having to get up to the sound of crying.

It was one hell of a vacation.

And I almost didn’t write about it. Mainly because there would be too much to say – or not say… But after being back for a week, I found that I was still thinking about it.

What the hell – I’m just going to write and see what comes out…starting with links and pictures – of which there are few since I never remembered to take any. [Note: due to a crappy netbook that operates at the speed of a 1992 office PC, it’s taken me A WEEK to get this thing done! For those of you who have been asking – sorry for the delay.]

So without further ado, let the linking and image stealing from other sites begin!

I had a crack of dawn flight requiring that I wake up around 3:00 a.m. This, in a word, sucked. But I am so Type A about packing and travel that I probably wouldn’t have slept well anyway. And I could sneak into my babies’ rooms to give them kisses goodbye without having to look them in they eye – something that always knocks me flat with guilt and worry.

Then I skulked outside in the dark, loading my suitcase into a sadistic blue van that insisted I get up THREE HOURS before my 6:00 a.m. flight. But I never had a moment of my usual latesolateohmygodwhydidn’tIleaveearlier panic…so bygones.

My flights were uneventful, barring the last minute cancellation of my first flight, the subsequent switch to a different connecting airport and an hour delay on the second flight. I still made it in by 11:00 a.m. and I even managed to get a little sleep.

I shared cab with two other attendees I met in line. And continuing my streak of connections to Voices of the Year keynotes and honorees, I would later find out that one was an honoree and one was a keynote. I’m telling you – anyone who plans to submit their work for Voices of the Year should befriend me or rub my head for luck or something… Or just get into a cab with me, since I also randomly shared one to Penn Station last year with a 2011 “voice.”

Just saying…

Anyway – the rest of the day was filled with lunch (including my unofficial roommates, as well as some old and new friends)…

Renee, Me, Christy and Chrisy

…catching up with some of my favorite people (one who was much better about suggesting photo ops than I was…)

Me (appearing to have just arrived from an intense Crisco cook off with Paula Dean) and (an annoyingly ungreasy looking) Loukia
…a pedicure, a late afternoon private party, a group dinner (with the some of the ladies above and a few others) and finally a drive-by of the conference parties (where we met up with another dear friend) before I realized that at midnight West Coast time, I had officially been up for 24 hours!

I also managed to pick up a roommate in the midst of all of that meeting and greeting.

I was bitterly disappointed that my planned roommate had to cancel two days before the conference (hot on the heels of having to come to terms with the fact that my good friend and 2010 roommate wasn’t able to make it this year…). But during lunch, I heard about someone’s last minute add-on who would be sleeping on a cot – and suddenly, I had a new roommate! One whom I had never met IRL or online…

Luckily, she ended up being one of my new favorite people. Though I still can’t imagine what possessed me to say, “oh sure – I’d LOVE to share my hotel room with a virtual stranger.” I blame it on the BlogHer fever. It’s a three day long group hug – and even a non-hugger like me can’t resist the love.

Here we are test driving a mattress I could never afford:

Jen, Me, Christy’s huge pregnant belly, and Renee

That? Is one of the five pictures I took at BlogHer. Seriously – what is wrong with me?

Other conference highlights from Friday included catching up with one of my favorite DC bloggers over really bad convention center eggs, hosting the Serenity Suite with a friend who actually thought to get a good picture of us…

“The Bitchin’ Wife” Amy and me – missing the Flash Mob taking place during our shift.
… then attending From Page to Stage, a fantastic session in which Ann Imig and Amy Wilson discussed taking written work and adapting it to be read aloud. This included both editing and performance tips, AND volunteers from the audience were encouraged to read blog posts and receive feedback. Of course I was the first volunteer. I read an old post of mine, I’ve Got Disco in My Soul.

And I’m so glad I did, since it provided me with an opportunity to meet some fabulous new people.

This was kind of a theme for my weekend: seeing and meeting people. People who made me drop the veil of appropriate responses, reserved interactions and general concern about whether I’m overstepping, being a bit too much or assuming intimacy that isn’t there.

I danced my ass off at Sparklecorn and wore a rather unexpected dress to boot. No pictures of course, but believe me – it was not my usual semi-conservative style. In fact, with all of the front and back “plunging” going on, the only bra situation that would work involved sticky silicone. This had the added bonus of bumping me up an entire cup size and making me feel positively obscene. And then of course, being scoffed at by friends more genetically gifted in this area…but that’s beside the point. It was rather splashy for me. And I would probably have looked pretty hot if I wasn’t so inept in my, um…application of the support system. Early in the evening, I was informed that I was a bit lopsided. But in a room that had a 90% female population – I don’t think anyone really cared.

Moving on from my boobs…(probably the first time I’ve ever had to say that)…

I also picked up two new friends at the lobby bar afterward when Jen and I decided to grab a quick drink before turning in for the night. We all bonded over trying to NOT be picked up by truly icky, much older men stalking the parade of BlogHer attendees heading back to their rooms. This resulted in another hour of laughter and over sharing. By far, one of my favorite conversations of the weekend.

The next day, I went to a luncheon hosted by women I hadn’t met before and I completely ignored every wave of shyness that washed over me. It’s intimidating to walk into at room full of people who are so well known and well thought of – to arrive late and alone when everyone is already immersed in animated conversation – to sit down and make yourself talk to people you don’t know…or people who you’re pretty sure don’t know you. In situations like this I immediately become that little girl at a new daycare, watching the other kids play, barely able to speak above a terrified whisper in response to even the friendliest of overtures. It’s hard to push that aside. But I did. And I had a wonderful time, getting to know lovely new friends and spending some time with others I admire but have never had the chance to meet in person.

I spent the rest of that afternoon doing another shift in the Serenity Suite, eating cake pops, catching up with more friends I had not yet seen and NOT being shy around the “big name bloggers” hanging out there. Then trying to introduce myself to Nie Nie at her panel – only to have one of those horribly awkward high schoolish moments when you realize that you’ve approached someone at the absolute worst time and inevitably find yourself standing there like an idiot while you watch them talk to other people. Basically, I thought she was surrounded by other admirers, when in fact she was having a last minute chat with her fellow panelists just before they went on stage. So I didn’t get to meet her. But I was brave about trying – and that counts a lot for me! And of course, I got to hear her speak…

All of that not being shy will take it out of you. And make you hungry. So I was feeling very ready for a relaxed group dinner:

Issa, me, Renee, Stacey, Christy, Megan, Chrisy, Galit and Zak


Thanks to Kim for taking that picture (she’s behind the camera)! And for the life me, I can’t remember why Jen and Joy weren’t there… But this is a good representation of the group I kept coming back to over those few days.

While there were still a couple of evening parties on the schedule, this was probably last time I really sat and talked to people. And after a couple of margaritas, I had a lot to say. That seems to be a pattern for me when cocktails are concerned: share now, cringe later. All worth it though.

I honestly can’t believe that I put on another dress and heels that night (yeah – no, I don’t have pictures – we’ve been over this right?) AND danced. My poor feet… But again – worth it. Especially since the dance floor is where I met yet another charming lady. She saw me speak at Listen to Your Mother (more on that in a minute) and the fact that she made the effort to say hello made me want to cry. Why can’t real life be like this?! I mean to this degree. It’s so incredibly heartwarming.

I don’t even remember the next morning and slept through most of my 6:00 a.m. flight so I think I’ll just stop there. For this post I mean.

I’m going end here and write a separate post on my two favorite moments/events at BlogHer. I attended both the Voices of the Year keynotes and the Listen/Letter to Your Mother open mic salon. And I’ve been thinking and talking about them ever since. And if I’m going to write about that, it will require a separate post. One with very few links because I am LINKED OUT.

Sorry for the abrupt ending but it’s late and I need to get to bed. I’ll try to wrap the next post up all pretty-like with a yellow grosgrain ribbon. Until then!

The Fab Five (Bloggers, That Is…)

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Thanks to Trop 50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 fabulous wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to help grant a friend’s wish!

Today, I’m participating in another Clever Girls Collective organized sponsorship. What made this immediately appealing to me is that it involved doing something I love: talking about the fantastic bloggers that I obsessively read. The only drawback? I could only pick five.

So I had to pick an angle. Set some parameters. Whittle a list of 500 down to five. Okay – a slight exaggeration – but just barely. After almost three years online, my Google reader overfloweth.

In light of my current health crisis (another exaggeration – but a little drama never hurt anyone’s blog post), I thought I’d go with five blogs that I find particularly inspirational. When considering one’s own mortality, most tend to ponder how short a time we have to make the most of every day and truly appreciate all that we have. I myself, look to others from whom I think I could learn a thing or two.

There are a number of people who have long been inspirational favorites of mine for one reason or another, and I’ll start with an obvious one – one that may just be on everyone’s list:

I started reading Nie Nie Dialogues before I started my own blog in June 2008. I loved how this young mother managed to make raising small children look like a dream come true. She took what others would accept as an ordinary life and made it seem like a daily cause for celebration. Her blog inspired me to (try to) see every day as an opportunity for magic – and maybe even find some.

Then, just a few months after I started The Big Piece of Cake, she was in a terrible plane crash. Her survival was a miracle and fervently prayed for by her family, friends and readers. People all over the world followed the story of her recovery, and her blog became more than just a happy place. It was a lesson plan for doing it right. Finding joy in exactly what you have and making every day count.

We were initially taken with the beautiful life she had made for herself and her family, but watching her fight to get it back has been literally breathtaking. She overcame incredible odds to be able to go home, mother her children and find her magic again. She challenged herself both physically and emotionally and she won.

In her new life, much has changed, but she still makes the most of every day. She makes me want to fight for my ordinary everyday life. And she inspires me to see true power in pure and simple love.

My next source of inspiration has a similar story in that she too, once had to fight for her life.

I can’t remember when I found Heidi – but it was definitely during my first year of blogging. I thought she was funny and her writing was beautiful. But I was a little confused about what her disability was. She referred to it every once in a while and I knew it had something to do with her feet because of her blog name…but there wasn’t a statement about it anywhere on her sidebar or in her profile at that time. She just blogged like me. She talked about her kids and her days and she ended every post with “Swept Up” – a brief account of something that was inspiring her at that moment.

Eventually, she wrote something that clarified the vague allusions for me. She explained that she had been in a horrific car crash that killed her friend and burned her to the point that she lost both of her lower legs. And I knew nothing about that until long after I felt I could call her a friend.

Heidi has been writing her story in a novel and she’s posting pieces of it on her blog (which now includes a bit more detail on exactly what that story is – thanks to her husband and head cheerleader who is helping her navigate the world of social media). You hear about people spending months recovering in the hospital – but it takes a truly gifted writer to transport you there. To take you understand the struggle, the pain and the temptation to just give up.

Heidi is a truly gifted writer. And while, yes – her story of recovery is inspiring, it’s really her talent inspires me. Her talent and her choice to dream big. To make things happen. She chose the life she has. She made it happen. And she continues to dream for more. I look forward to seeing her make that happen too.

I don’t only read about people who survive flaming crash sites though…

(Yes – that is a recent picture of her and MONDO! Jealous? I am.)

Amy is another blogger that I started reading early on. In fact – I think she may have been my first commenter (besides Mom of course). She immediately charmed me with her ability to make everything seem just a little more fun. Or real. Or both. She could write a poem about her son’s sock and a novel about a fleeting glance. She is by far one of the most innately creative people I have ever encountered.

Amy strikes me as someone who would be a very good muse. This is a bit ironic since she is the one looking at the world through an artist’s eyes… But she makes you want to do the same. She makes you want to create something. Mommy bloggers leave her posts wanting to write about pirates or paint wildflowers or perhaps burn a bra or something. She makes you want to embrace life with wild abandon and then give it the finger for good measure.

She inspires me to be more creative in my everyday life. To look at the world through an artist’s eyes and to raise my children to do the same. She inspires me to be bold.

While I’m trying to be a little less reserved in life – I could also learn to take myself just a little less seriously. Oh – I do try…but it is so genetically embedded into my core personality, that role models are often necessary.

So who better to take my Number Four spot on this list than someone who reminds me to laugh at myself and just lighten up already?

Jessica is really, really funny. I mean really. But that isn’t what makes me such a fan of hers. She didn’t win my admiration with her comedic timing, she did it with her honesty.

On the surface, she’s writing humorous stories (or posting vlogs) about dating failures, family dysfunction and single parenting challenges – but take the jokes away, and there is still substance. There’s a real person behind the funny.

It seems like so many funny people hide behind their sense of humor – take away the laughs and all you find is a stranger. Jessica isn’t like that.

I’ve often thought that her blogging is very brave. She isn’t afraid to laugh at herself. Herself – meaning who she is in everyday life. Not a fabricated caricature of herself, carefully constructed for the audience. Her stories don’t sound contrived. They sound like things that could happen to you or your best friend. The way she tells her stories is what makes them funny and the fact that we can relate to them makes her more than just a humor blogger. She seems like a real friend. One who isn’t afraid to have a laugh at her own expense.

And to then laugh at you. Because you deserve it. At least I do. I need to laugh at myself more…far more often than I currently do. Jessica inspires me to lighten up and see humor in my daily trials. To not take myself so goddamn seriously!

FINALLY – Number Five is going to seem really random and out of sync with this girl power line up I’ve got going here…

How on earth could two fabulous NYC gay guys with their finger on the pulse of the fashion world have any relevance to a suburban SAHM like?

Yeah – even I think it’s a stretch. But HEY the assignment was to write about “five fabulous bloggers.” And this duo has enough “fabulous” to last them three lifetimes AND provide leftovers to donate to style-challenged celebrities until the red carpet is thoroughly threadbare.

But, you ask, what about my theme about being inspired by the blogs I read and the people who write them? Well isn’t that obvious? I’m a suburban SAHM. I could use a little fabulous in my life!

Life is serious and gritty and full of hard decisions. It can wear you down and make your fashion choices seem beyond frivolous. Seriously – the only red carpet I ever encounter involves an exploding juice box.

And for some people that’s fine. They really don’t care.

But I kind of do.

I love clothes and the idea of developing a sense of personal style. One of the biggest things that I miss about working is the opportunity to dress up for something. There isn’t much incentive for that in my life right now. But these two make me want to try a little. Put on some lipstick. Consider a new signature color. Throw on some statement jewelry for a walk to the playground.

They inspire me to take a break from the daily grind and indulge myself a little. It’s fun. And it adds some balance.

So that’s it – five fabulous blogs. Some may be known to you and others may be new. But I highly recommend all of them for inspiration. To find magic in the life you have and to dream for more. To live it with passion and to have some good belly laughs at your own expense. To allow yourself a little frivolity – just to take the edge off.

I’ll never be just like any single one of these people – because I can’t be anyone but myself. But they inspire me to be more. To want more. Because I deserve it. I think we all do.

Don’t forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to support a friend’s wish. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

I’m So Full of It – But I Know Other People Who Make Things Happen…

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After last week’s big announcement about my quest for self actualization in 2011, I find that I have nothing new to report. But hey – it’s only been a week. Barely enough time think about when I should start thinking about planning to do something about my need for personal definition. It’s early days yet.

In the meantime, I thought I’d show you something really great that my IRL friend Tina put together. Tina has a scrapbooking/crafting website (Creations by Tinamarie) that kind of intimidates me since I have never scrapbooked nor crafted. BUT one of her latest “freebies” is something even a lamo like me can manage:


You can print out these cute little cards and have your younger writers fill in the blanks. They practice their handwriting and make you look good to the kind friends and relatives who sent even more noisy plastic to clutter your house! And it’s free. Which will be more fully appreciated when the holiday shopping credit card bill arrives. Visit her HERE for full details.

She also has a giveaway going on for a collaboration with another scrapbooking/crafting genius. The design won’t be released until Friday, but here is the “sneak peek”:


Click HERE for full giveaway details (a winner will be selected tomorrow – so act fast!)

I was going to add something else about the Hood family comings and goings (goings would apply to Chris who left for a business trip on Saturday and won’t return until next Wednesday) – but I just heard screaming from below. I think I may start calling our basement playroom “The Tenth Circle”… Either way, I’d better go check it out. But I’ll be back soon with more brilliance or mediocrity – depending on the context in which you place me.

Full disclosure: I did not receive compensation of any kind for promoting my friend, Tina’s stuff. She’s really cheap like that.

BlogHer is a lot like… (Part III – The End)

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I have to confess. As much as I really loved BlogHer, even I’m finding my super long recap posts a little tedious… I’m trying to fit too much in – much like I did now and again at the conference. I woke up in a cold sweat last night when I realized that I forgot to mention a few friends I saw at the Mouthy Housewives party, like Carolyn who calls me “KATE COVENY HOOD!” and Debbie who always seems to magically appear when you need a friend.

I’m not kidding. Okay – except for that “waking up in a cold sweat part.” It was probably more like “while I was watching the first season of Glee on Netflix” – but that doesn’t have quite the same dramatic impact.

SO instead of trying to follow an exact itinerary, today I’ll just go with highlights. Not to worry though – it will still be long and tedious.

(Oh yeah – and don’t forget to read Part I and Part II. Or at very least, the disclaimers I included at the beginning of each since the same applies here.)

Saturday:

On Saturday morning I slept in a little and really just wandered around on my own, catching up on e-mail and visiting exhibit hall booths I missed the first day. I mean – there were all those great contests to enter. I could have won a Balenciaga bag! Or an ipad! Or…well there was a lot of good stuff to win. Unfortunately – my luck wasn’t in and I didn’t win anything. But hey – I have all of those marketing e-mails to look forward to!

After only making it to one session the day prior, I was determined to do better. And there was no way I was missing the “How to Edit Pictures and Make Them 10x Better” panel. Mostly because two of my girl crushes, Amy and Pauline were speaking, but also because I need some serious help in this area. The session was maybe a little too advanced for me (since I’m on the below novice level), but it did give me some ideas for what is possible. AND Amy talked about Windows Live Essentials beta software. It allows you to write, edit and schedule blog posts without actually being online. Amazing! I’ve downloaded it and can’t wait to try it out.

Other take aways from the session included…well everything that you can find in this link to to Amy and Pauline’s presentations (too much to list here) and their co-presenter Ryan’s photoshop demonstration and down to earth advice that you should just “try to take a good picture” before starting the editing process.

Later that afternoon, Anna and I had an hour shift in the Serenity Suite. It was more crowded than the day before and felt more like a party than a quiet place for escape. But no one was complaining – especially not when the cupcakes were delivered. It was then that I finally got a chance to meet my longtime, twenty-something blogger friend LiLu!

LiLu and two other twenty-something bloggers (aren’t they cute?)
That’s her in the middle wearing the unicorn tee-shirt (it’s tooting “magic”). I didn’t take that picture myself – I pulled it from her site. To be honest, I really didn’t take any pictures all weekend… Luckily others did, so everything you see in these BlogHer posts is pretty much stolen from elsewhere. *Photo credit: not me.

The highlight of the afternoon BlogHer events for me was the Humor panel. Since we had to go straight there from the Serenity Suite, Christy and Jill saved us seats. Thank goodness since the room was packed and I didn’t want to miss seeing one of my very favorite online friends, Jessica Bern. Since I’m not currently a humorist nor am I trying to break into that, this session was straight up entertainment for me. With three hilarious speakers, two of whom are professional stand up comics, it was like an evening at the Improv. And I loved meeting Jessica when it was over. I only wish that we had actually found some time to sit and talk (something I find myself saying about many people…)

After the panel Anna, Christy, Jill and I all grabbed a seat at the hotel bar and that was another one of my favorite conference memories. Someone (other than me) actually captured it on film (or memory stick? what are we saying these days?)

Me (apparently offering you my paw – good doggie!), Christy and Anna


Me (new and improved with E.T. hands), Christy, Anna and Jill
With no plans for the next couple of hours, we were happy to join a group going out for Chinese. This included Stacey, Issa, Kari, Jonna, Lisa and a nice young girl who only stayed for a drink. I was going to write about this, as she ended up being a speaker from one of the more, um, splashy sessions…but Anna beat me to it. All in all it was a perfect way to close out the day before running back to the room to change for the evening parties.

We ended up at Sparklecorn, which was kind of a blur. For some reason, I never made it to the dance floor which is too bad because there is nothing I love more than an opportunity to embarrass myself with drunken misconceptions that I’m an awesome dancer. I think I was just kind of tired. So no dancing – just a lot of talking and laughing. I especially loved meeting Cara who thinks I look like a famous TV/movie star. I don’t get that very often (or, you know – at all) so it was a nice bonus to an already super-fun night.

I also had another chance to see Gwen, Nora and Deb, which also kind of made my night. Especially when Deb complimented my navy and white ensemble, calling it very “nautical.” How did she know I’ve always had a thing for sailor suits? My head was getting quite huge.

Christy finally had to collapse in her room. Mothers of three month old babies need to embrace uninterrupted sleep whenever possible, so we didn’t hold the Cinderella act against her.

Jill and I wanted to go out, and Anna said she could rally – but in the end, we found ourselves lounging in the lobby with a big group including both old and new faces for me. Jorja had joined us along the way, and the four of us pretty much agreed without discussion that we weren’t going anywhere. It was the perfect way to wrap up the night. Why go out when the party is right in front of you?

Just one more picture from the night (via lovely lady on the left, Pauline):

When everyone started to scatter around 1:30, I knew I was done. Even though I was tempted to stay up a little bit longer when I saw Amy and others on my way to the elevator, I really didn’t think I could make it one more minute.

Other than some schoolgirl laughing in our beds with Anna and some quick goodbyes the next morning (and a REALLY long trek home), that was it. The End.

So how did I like my first BlogHer conference? I loved it. Truly. Even though there are a number of things I would do differently the second time around, I can’t really regret much because I probably would have felt like that no matter what. Sometimes I over scheduled myself…sometimes I was at loose ends… But I took responsibility for all of that, learned my lesson and moved on.

Which kind of brings me back to the issue I brought up twenty years ago at the beginning of my first BlogHer post. Everyone is right – BlogHer is just like highschool. Because just like high school, it’s simply what you make of it. Like anything else in life. Focus on the nice people and give the rest the benefit of the doubt. Live in the moment without concern about what you may be missing. And when you see a random opportunity that doesn’t fit in with the schedule you are following, grab it – because it’s those moments that keep things interesting.

I absolutely regret not making more of an effort to spend time with some (and you know who you are since I keep telling you…), but I couldn’t be happier with the rest. In fact – I wouldn’t change a thing.

BlogHer is a lot like… (Part II)

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*See my last post for a full BlogHer post disclaimer. I know these are annoying and writing multi-parts constitutes pushing the envelope… But I promise I’ll try to keep it interesting (to me).

This is day two of a three part account. I’ve already covered Thursday, my first day in NYC, and am now picking it back up with Friday. So if you’re still interested [I just finished reading through this and it’s LONG – so get ready to skim]…

Friday:

Friday morning I woke a little on the early side. I had plans with Stacey to grab coffee since her baby, Nate (who accompanied her to NYC) is usually up at the crack of dawn. Sadly (for me), Nate decided to be a mother’s dream over the weekend and slept a full 12 hours every night. So Stacey wasn’t available. (Honestly – babies are so selfish! No regard for anyone else’s plans…)

Instead, I just went down to the hotel Starbucks for a little quiet time to myself. I also exchanged some “let’s meet up” tweets with Scary Mommy (whom I will refer to by her blog name, as another Jill figures prominently in my BlogHer experience). But that never happened, as I had barely started to sink into the couch before I got a call from my close friend for many pre-blog years, Christy. She had just arrived at the hotel and was hoping to store her luggage in my room until she could check in.

We then discovered that Christy’s roommate, Jill had also just gotten to the Hilton. So I took them both up to my room to talk loudly around Anna who was trying to sleep in. Since this was rather rude (and Anna pulled a pillow over her head and broadcast a very loud silence indicating that she was not interested in joining the coffee klatch just yet) I accompanied Christy and Jill down to breakfast. And it was there that we actually did run into Scary Mommy and took a couple of pictures:

Christy, Scary Mommy, Me

Me, Jill, Christy

Shortly after that, I met Anna to check out the exhibit hall. While waiting for the hall to open, I randomly started talking to Shauna from Piece of Cake. Do you know her? People confuse us all the time…I think it has something to do with our facial expressions and coloring. Anyway – that was a kind of funny coincidence.

I enjoyed strolling through the booths, though I tried very hard to NOT procure too much junk to bring home. I’m not going to cover my hours (yes – it was quite the time warp in there) that I spent talking to exhibitors in these posts. I’m not much of a brand blogger (unless of course, a sponsor out there wants to pay me a lot of money to become one – call me!) and my BlogHer ads contract wouldn’t allow it anyway. If anything of note comes to mind, I’ll put it on Wishing True or possibly my review/giveaway site, As Good As Cake.

While cruising through the exhibits, I kept an eye out for the people on my “must see” list but it was kind of a zoo. I was quickly realizing that if I wanted to see anyone at all, I would probably have to ask them out on dates with promises of really good swag bags. But it was pretty early in the day, and I always had Twitter to help me figure out where I could find my scattered friends. Note to self: walking through exhibit halls while typing on an iphone will make you very dizzy.

And here is where my second BlogHer fail occurred. I completely lost track of time and missed the first round of sessions. My DC area friend Jean (Stimey) spoke on the Autism panel, and that was one I had planned to attend. So second lesson learned: don’t let the shiny objects in the exhibit hall distract from the rest of the conference. While I’m super excited about my Mission tortilla warmer, I would have much rather seen Jean speak.

There was little time for lamenting though since Anna and I had to leave for our half hour shift in the Serenity suite (the travel time required for catching the elevator from the third floor to the 43rd was, oh…about a half hour). There, I had a chance to to catch up with Carrie, talk to Amie about the new DC Moms blog that will be launched soon, and even meet the S’mores (sponsor of my train ticket to NYC) suite reps. My only complaint about the Serenity Suite was that my shift was just a little too early for the afternoon cupcakes. I was told there would be cupcakes…

By the time we made it down to lunch, I was famished. I have this really bad habit of not eating a good breakfast and that morning was no exception. So instead of finding a group of friends or sitting at a table full of new people to meet, I dragged Anna to an empty table where I attacked my meal with caveman-like attention. It’s not that I was feeling anti-social – I just can’t eat and talk at the same time, and talking usually takes precedence. This would be the reason that I’ve often found myself quite drunk at weddings (I have no problem consuming beverages while chatting).

Once I felt ready to interact with people again, it was time for afternoon sessions. And I had planned to attend Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere. I don’t actually have an advice blog, but a few of my favorites were on the panel: Kelcey, Marinka and Wendi (otherwise known as The Mouthy Housewives). They were joined by a blogger I’ve heard of, but haven’t actually read before, Aunt Becky. As expected, this was a very funny group and a couple of times I got confused and thought I was in the humor panel. But this didn’t last since all of the people standing up to ask questions started with “I find that I’m often asked for advice on…” Apparently many bloggers who did not start out with the intention of giving advice to readers are e-mailed questions on a regular basis. Like personal questions about whether or not to end a 20-year marriage. Talk about responsibility!

A lot of great advice and suggestions were given by the panel (surprise!), but Aunt Becky provided a bottom line reality check with the statement, “you don’t owe anyone anything.” Actually – this was kind of a break in character, serious moment that I think resonated with everyone. Whether you give advice or not, anyone who writes a blog feels some level of expectation from readers. So that was probably my biggest take away from the session – that I’m not responsible for the feelings and decisions of the people who may solicit me for advice. That, and the fact that no one ever asks me for advice. Hmph!

I would have liked to attend another session after that (AND catch up with friends I was thrilled to see there like Ann and Pauline), but I rushed off to embark on my third big BlogHer mistake. I had an appointment to get my hair styled at the Pantene station in the exhibit hall.

I had been wearing my hair pulled back in a low ponytail all day, but planned to wear it down for that evening’s events. Between the humidity and my inexpert styling skills, I knew that it would probably be a frizzy mess – so the professional help seemed like a fabulous idea. And it would have been if I hadn’t made my appointment for 15 minutes into the Voices of the Year keynote. Sigh. AND – by the time I realized my error, and returned to change the time, all that was left was the slot immediately after the the Dear Abby panel. So there was no time to wash my hair. I would have to just see what they could do with the flat, greasy mess.


Twenty minutes doesn’t buy you much magic time when it comes to hair styling. So what I ended up with was a very stiff coif of waves that didn’t last five minutes into my OCD poking. Ultimately, I had to pull it back into the low ponytail again and just wash it later. That was a lot of time wasted… Lesson learned: don’t prioritize hair appointments over precious conference time. (Although I DID enjoy chatting with the adorable Aussie stylist – glass half full….)

The next big event of the day was Voices of the Year, and Anna and I made sure to get a good spot in the general session room. Before the speakers began though, I got the most astonishing comment on my pre-BlogHer “see you next week” post from my friend Nancy (the one I had met for lunch the day prior):


I had no idea what to make of this and e-mailed her immediately: “What’s up with the X-rated comment? Typo?” Of course, she was puzzled and looked to see what she could possibly have written. It seems to have been a truly bizarre iphone spell check malfunction.


Either way, it gave me a good laugh, as well as some ‘splainin’ to do to Chris when I got home.

The keynote was fantastic. I truly expected to be a little bored by at least some of the speakers, but that didn’t happen at all. I was really there to see these three…

Marinka (the funniest woman online), Scary Mommy (the…I don’t know – she can do everything, but was recognized for her design work) and Amy (the chanteuse who performed her hilarious satire, “The ‘Wicked’ Popular Blogger“)
…but I enjoyed every single one of the 15 presenters.

After the keynote, we had a little time to relax (and do our own hair) before that evening’s events. Anna and I planned to meet Christy and Jill at the Kirtsy Voices of the Year gallery and check out the art created to accompany the 75 finalists. This was something I was dying to see (I even wrote a rather angsty post about it) so I really wish I had more time to spend there.

But we did have other plans starting with The Mouthy Housewives’ party at a lounge around the corner. And this is where I started doing EVERYTHING right.

On the way though, we ran into another attendee who had just that second, realized that she had left her wallet in a cab that was now several blocks away. Poor Jorja… But a girl after my own heart, she just did whatever she needed to do to cancel credit cards and inform a not exactly thrilled husband, and then went on to enjoy the rest of her night out. Which pleased us very much as she spent some of it in our company.

The party was possibly the best part of the whole weekend for me. I met some fantastic new people (including Dre, Jillian, Joy, and Kim), caught up with friends (including Amy, Loukia and Maura), enjoyed delicious wine and hors d’oeuvres AND was informed that I would be shipped a free LG vacuum cleaner. But the best part was actually staying in one place for a couple of hours and talking to wonderful people:

Christy and Anna

Christy and me

me and Dre

Our lovely hosts: Kelcey, Wendi and Marinka

When the party ended, we were all pretty hungry (man cannot live on mini grilled cheese hors d’oeuvres alone), so our little group of four got a bite to eat at a French bistro around the corner from the hotel.

Then (and I SWEAR I am wrapping this up soon), we dropped by the Kirtsy Gala room to see if the art displays were still up. Regrettably they were not – but we did run into the adorable Carina of The Jet Set. And she offered to take some pictures of us that just may be my favorites from the whole weekend:


In case you were wondering – yes, Christy is always laughing like that, and yes, she really did semi-seriously consider taking the balloons back to her room.

You will now be thrilled to know that this concludes the chronicle of my every move on Friday, August 6, 2010. I am just as exhausted in the telling as I was at the end of that day.

Tomorrow I will finish up with Saturday, the last day of BlogHer and I will do everything humanly possible (for me) to exercise better editorial skills. Until then…

BlogHer is a lot like…

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UPDATE: Seems I’m not quite as funny as I think. I’ve deleted some things that were meant to be humorous but apparently came across as bitchy. So if you’ve already read this – please know that I didn’t mean ANYTHING I’ve written in a negative way. In fact – I wouldn’t mention anyone in these BlogHer posts unless I really did like them very much. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

*Disclaimer: As I’ve mentioned before – this is the first year I’ve attended BlogHer, but in the past, I’ve loved reading all about it. So this will probably be long and possibly annoying to those who didn’t attend. Or maybe not. No idea what I’m going to write yet – you’ll have to be the judge.

Last year, when I read all 1,000 BlogHer posts, I noticed the obvious theme of “BlogHer is just like high school” – and I could totally see that. But I also think that this message was strongly balanced with the sentiment that it’s exactly what you make of it (much like high school in which I made great friends regardless of social hierarchies – much like BlogHer… Just love me some circularity, you know).

But this year, I saw a #blogher tweet from one of my favorite people, Gwen of Not Really that I thought pretty much nailed it:


Seriously – EXACTLY how I felt. Totally displaced on day one, feeling the love on day two and then exhausted on day three. Forget about “what I got out of it“…I was far too preoccupied by the fact that my tired, red eyes wouldn’t stop tearing.

But I’ve always been known by my friends for my ability to rally. So not only did I stay awake as long and as late as possible on Saturday night (in bed by a respectable 2:00 a.m.), I tried very hard to just be in the moment and enjoy the company of whomever was directly in front of me.

So if you feel like rallying (a term originally applied to my willingness to be dragged from my bed and join forays out for late night diner food) for yet another BlogHer post…I’m adding my own to the mix. And it will be long. And include repetitive pictures. And links. A lot of links. This will NOT be lyrical or profound. It will be a blow by blow of my BlogHer 2010 experience.

You say our blog is a “virtual scrapbook” of your children? My blog is a “virtual scrapbook” of my blog. So here we go…

Thursday:

Having shut down activity on all three of my sites until, um…Monday (ooops – guess it’s time to start posting again), I woke at FOUR A.M. to meet up with a group driving to a sponsored train ride from BWI. Of course I was wide awake because if you can’t rally at the beginning of a trip, then you really can’t call yourself much of a rallier (I don’t care what spell check says – it’s a word).

I just wrote several paragraphs on the ride including links to everyone I could think of that even “almost” made eye contact with me – but really that’s link overkill. So let’s just say that I had a great time talking to Amy, Bailey, J.J., Linda Kerr, Linda Rihani, Michele, Roni, Stimey, Sue (and more! If I’ve left you out, let me know and I’ll add you) on the way up to NYC.

After a quick cab ride to the Hilton, I checked my bag, saw some familiar faces in the lobby, and then ran out to meet my non-blogging friend Nancy for lunch. Nancy, like my other non-blogging friends, thinks I’m a blog superstar and wonders when I’ll be getting that book deal. I KNOW Nancy – that’s what all 50 of my regular readers think…

Then I helped stuff bags for the CraziBeautiful party that I planned to attend later at 4:30. There I met more lovely people including hosts, April, Joanie, Julie, Loralee and Stephanie. And with a quick check in and change at the Hilton, and then a check in at registration (where I saw the exuberant force of nature that is called Vodka Mom), I went back to CraziBeautiful to talk to the super cool sponsors and pick up the best swag bag at BlogHer.

Suddenly I realized that it was well after 6:00 (p.m. that is…the CraziBeautiful party was good but not THAT good) and I was already running late for the Martha Stewart party downtown (private party disclaimer: I simply asked for an invitation to this and like anyone else, was given one upon request).

And this is where I started doing everything wrong… What? You navigated through your planned BlogHer schedule effortlessly and flawlessly? Well good for you – maybe you could host a ROYO about it next year. Anyway…

I wasn’t all THAT concerned about the time until I got into the cab line, which was looking like it would have me at Martha’s by 11:00. Clearly, that wasn’t going to work for me so I decided to walk over a few blocks and get my own cab. Which is really easy to do in midtown rush hour.

After another ten minutes of walking backwards down Fifth Avenue with my hand up, looking like a cross between a hitchhiker and a hooker (high class thank you very much), I was starting to consider hopping into one of those rickshaws. But finally Lady Luck smiled down on me and a very expensive limo pulled up to save me (and charge me an arm and a leg for a 15 block drive, but the air conditioning was worth it).

Martha’s party was okay. and I wasn’t as late as I thought since they didn’t even open the doors until 6:30. But it was obvious that I didn’t know anyone there, and after an afternoon of small talk with new acquaintances, I would have been thrilled to see a friendly face. I DID run into April (one of the CraziBeautiful hosts) at the bar and of course embarrassed myself by managing to ask her if she’s Mormon and THEN made it even better by asking if she knew another Mormon blogger that I read. Awesome. The things I do when I’m feeling frazzled…

Don’t get me wrong – I did have a good time and very much enjoyed chatting with some of the vendors and the lovely PR woman who planned the event. I also saw Joanna Goddard of A Cup of Jo there, but I was just too spent to even try to do the fan hello (who knows what I’d end up saying to her).

When it was over I sped back to the hotel via cab and heard from my roommate Anna who had finally arrived and was at the People’s Party with Headless Mom. And THAT’S when everything got back on track.

Lesson learned? Trying to go to too many events can waste a lot of time. Better to just find a great group or a great party and stick with it. Rushing all over a city to get to different parties is lame. Duly noted.

I was SO happy to connect with Anna who is one of my favorite people and my first real blog friend. After all of that stress it was a relief to talk and laugh with two fantastic women. Even if we were drinking “drinkable” wine out of party cups (I must admit that the vodka and basil concoctions at Martha’s were heavenly).

Then something else wonderful happened. A long time favorite writer (and yes I actually do differentiate “writers” from bloggers like me) walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. Gwen, whom I mentioned above is this tall gorgeous creature who somehow manages to combine effortless cool with insecure dorkiness. I love her. And I also quite taken her friends, Nora and Deb. Anna and I spent the rest of the evening with them before admitting at midnight that we couldn’t last another minute. I was in bed, asleep by 12:30.

Since I have two more days to cover. I’ll stop there for now and pick it up tomorrow. Looks like the rest of my week will be dedicated to BlogHer ’10. Ah well – that’s all the people who attended want to read anyway, and everyone else is ignoring blogs until the annoying BlogHer posts cease.

I’m sure I’ll come up with something really insightful about BlogHer by the end of the week. But tomorrow, you can tune in again for more links, some PICTURES (finally – mine mostly start on Friday) and long rambling stories. Until then, here is a preview image:

Christy, me, Anna and Jill

God, but I miss those girls….

Why I Really Shouldn’t Be on a Reality TV Show About Bloggers (Alternatively Titled: PorkHer)

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*Disclaimer: I know that I said I wouldn’t write anything else about BlogHer until I returned, but this isn’t about the conference. It’s about…well, just read it already!

If you are on Twitter, you have most likely seen numerous calls for comments on “audition” posts for Project Mom Casting interviews that will be held next week in New York. The casting call? Mothers who blog. For a reality show. Whether this will be a heartwarming documentary about how the Internet has changed the cast’s lives OR a campy Real Housewives take on their sensational blogger antics remains to be seen. But my guess is that the former is more likely.

Now, the fact that I’m a mother AND I have a blog makes me pretty much 100% qualified for this. Right?

Um – no.

As much as I love the idea of watching a good friend become a household name, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I would not, myself make a good candidate. Aside from the fact that my husband would probably divorce me if I involved him in anything like that (ooooh – I smell a story arc….), there are some very specific reasons why I wouldn’t even attempt to audition:

1. My house is too messy. I like to think of myself as a very neat and organized person, but I happen to live with four slobs. The only way that my house would stay spotless is if I spent the whole day cleaning. And THAT would mean I wouldn’t have any time to spend on my blogs which are really the only current activity I have that doesn’t involve some form of care taking. So I have to choose: clean house or personal identity. And the winner is… Anyway – don’t even talk to me about hiring professionals to come in every couple of weeks. The biggest slob in the house would say we can’t afford it. Then I look at all of his clothes on the floor and say, “pick up your shirt.” And then he looks at me and says “take off your shirt.” And we’re at an impasse. Messy house it is.

2. The camera does not love me. I am not particularly photogenic, and this applies to all things video as well. I have had many jokes made at my expense regarding the way I pose for pictures. And I can’t really blame anyone because I pretty much have it down to a science. At some point in high school I figured out that I have a very definite good side (the result of a deviated septum and visibly crooked nose, which for some reason I didn’t recognize until an ENT asked me when I broke my nose, giving me a massive complex since I have NEVER broken my nose…but that’s another post for another time). And I learned that if I tilt my head just so to the right, I look remarkably better than if I don’t. My friends called this “the Kate Coveny [my maiden name] head tilt” and over twenty years later, it’s stuck. Even Chris makes fun of me. Since there is no way to keep your head continuously tilted and angled toward the camera for optimal effect while being filmed… I just don’t think the producers would like my look. Asymmetrical doesn’t play well with an audience.

3. I’m boring. I mean, I myself am not a boring person to be around. But there isn’t anything going on in my life that would keep people perched on the edge of their seats, dying to hear more. I don’t think I need to give an account of what my life is like since, you know – I have this whole blog about it… But in case you’re not familiar with The Big Piece of Cake, I’ll just say that no one is making a movie of my life story anytime soon.

Here is an example of #3 (and #2 for that matter). Chris has a (currently lapsed) food-related blog that he would often update with clips from our video camera. It started with cooking stuff – but then he put together a kind of series on barbecue places on a drive through the South. Last summer, we did a road trip down to Florida to see a sick relative, and we took what must have been hours of footage at those restaurants. And I star in most of them. Here are some clips I pulled from Dad Can Cook:

This was my “debut.” Chris asked me to take pictures of a pulled pork dinner that he basically assigned to me. The camera was broken, so I vlogged it:

All right Mr. De Mille, I’m ready for my close-up.

Then of course, some barbecue joint clips:

That’s a lot of pork-related footage for someone who isn’t that much of a fan. The things we do for love…

NUDITY even!

Okay – not really “nudity”…but I did always say that I wouldn’t sell out like that.

So what do you think? Reality show potential there? No?

I agree. But I know several people who do have some star quality. So visit these links and let them know that you concur.

Ann – Ann’s Rants

Jessica – Bern This

Loukia – Loulou’s Views

Jill – Scary Mommy

Amy – The Bitchin’ Wives Club

Heather – The Extraordinary Ordinary

Kelcey – The Mama Bird Diaries

Go on! I may not have “it” – but I recognize it when I see it…

Note to producers of Project Mom Casting: This is my personal endorsement of blogs that I read religiously. The writers would all be great candidates for a show about women who blog – who have engaging and inspiring stories to tell. I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for, but let me know if you ever have any ideas for pork-related programming.

Note to other bloggers: Do you have an audition post I haven’t seen? Leave a link in comments. I’d love to read it.

Note to self: Splash on a little makeup before coming within ten feet of any camera. Also, don’t let the head tilt mockers get you down. Until they’ve walked a mile in this nose…

AND……SCENE!

You have to read this…

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The day got away from me and then I had a couple of glasses of wine and writing just isn’t going to happen now…

But I read this earlier today and I laughed more than I have all week (and that’s saying a lot in a house with three kids between ages three and five):

Large Like Jabba The Hutt

I generally love everything Chris writes – but this is hilarious. Enjoy.