Tag Archives: People Out to Get Me

My Happy Place

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Isn’t this lovely?

This is where I will be (in my head) for the next week. Things are not going well at Big Piece of Cake Headquarters, and I need a vacation. The vacation will only be in my head of course, and I will still have to go to work and deal with the source of my need for escape… But I’m going to invest all of my free mind space in holding my light floral skirt back against the warm Summer breeze and gazing at my new strappy white shoes (I SAID it was Summer in my head – so white shoes are allowed).

Instead of turning off the lights and pulling down my pink shade though, I’ve asked a few friends to guest post in my absence. A couple of moms, a couple of young ladies…all people I love to read. I hope that you will enjoy them as well.

In the meantime, I will be enjoying warm weather and new footwear in the painting above. OR…

I may be here enjoying a late afternoon cocktail and rethinking that zebra head (it seemed like a good idea at the time…). OR…


I may be here with my nose pressed up against the window. Bad moods come and go – but some things never change…

See you in a week!

That’s My Giant

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Last week I was invited to a lunch hosted by Giant Food at one of my favorite DC restaurants, Chef Geoff. Aside from being a fan of the food at Chef Geoff, I particularly like this restaurant because the owner (that would be Chef Geoff, of course) happens to be a good friend of one of my husband’s best friends from college. So I kind of know him by proxy – which makes me feel very important.

Giant is one of the main grocery stores where I shop (that’s right Washington Post Express – I don’t spend all of my millions at Whole Foods). So the lunch seemed to apply to me. AND it was free. While not everyone likes to admit it – we all like free stuff. Even rich and famous bloggers like me.

When I arrived at the lunch, I was surprised to see that it was a fairly intimate group – probably about 20 people in all. This also pleased me because I like anything exclusive (as long as I’m invited). So far, so good. I was feeling important and elitist and I was getting a free lunch. Ah – just another day in the life of a suburban mom…

But seriously – what was I doing there? Why WAS I invited? I really had no idea. It seemed that the guest list was primarily made up of women who write for DC Metro Moms. And I don’t write for DC Metro Moms. I’ve only had a blog for about two months. But I am a mom, and I grew up in DC and now live in the Metro area….so maybe I should write for DC Metro Moms. I seem to be qualified… But for the purpose of this particular line of thought (why I was invited), there didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for it. I could only guess that they saw the title of my blog and thought I was a foodie. Well, as much as I like to eat, I have to admit to being a fairly reluctant cook. But if serving my children different variations of cheese on bread for dinner and then making my own dinner out of some cheese and crackers and a half a bottle of wine every night makes me part of Giant’s target audience….then it all makes sense.

As usual, many words have passed and not many points have been gotten to… So back to the lunch. The primary message that Giant seemed to want to relay to us is that they value the mothers that shop in their stores. Seriously – it just kept getting better. I could now add “valued” to the list of pats on the back that I seemed to be getting out of this experience. Then they filled us in on the current programs they are developing as well as various family-related changes that will be taking place in their stores.

The first item that caught my attention was the improved family-friendly check out lines. They not only eliminate candy and tabloids – but also provide activity pages with stickers for the kids, healthy snacks and various items that a parent may need on the go (like hand sanitizer). My first thought was that this aisle didn’t really appeal to me. I mean where would I get my reward for doing the shopping (candy) and how would I suffer through waiting in line without some kind of entertainment (Us Weekly)? Frankly, activity pages and Fig Newtons just aren’t going to cut it for me. Then I remembered that I would only be using this aisle if I had my children with me (something I actively avoid). And that this information was being presented to me since I’m a mom. Oh yeah – that’s right – I am! Then I thought the idea was genius.

The next point that seemed to apply to me personally was that Giant will be putting reminder signs in their parking lots so people won’t make it all the way through the checkout line before realizing that they left their reusable grocery bags in the car. Anyone that has been reading The Big Piece of Cake recently may remember my confession about this a few weeks ago. And if you caught my post on Friday, you will know that a local publication decided to slander me publicly for it. Okay – that’s a bit extreme, but I didn’t sense any eye rolling over the OTHER blogs they quoted that day…

Another point of discussion that got everyone all fired up was a new scanning system that will allow you to place an order at the deli counter and then come by to pick it up later. Women were literally vibrating with excitement over this. I was thinking about how I don’t much care for lunch meat, but then I considered that I could want to buy something at the deli counter at some point…so then I got into the spirit and joined in the ooohs and aaahs.

The presentation covered much more than this, but those new developments were the ones that seem to stick out for me. During part of the the presentation, Chef Geoff himself gave us a demonstration on how to prepare risotto. He put on a good show, and entertained us with culinary jokes and stories about his kids. The whole time I was thinking about how my husband (who actually does like to cook) would have LOVED to be there, and how he would have been the biggest suck up in the room, asking lots of questions about technique (love you honey!). This risotto was served with a scallop the size of my head as an appetizer. It was phenomenal, and I guarantee that if I tried this “easy” recipe at home it wouldn’t be nearly as good – regardless of Chef Geoff’s instructional skills.

While we were enjoying our entree, Andrea Astrachan, VP of Consumer Affairs gave us all kinds of tips for staying healthy, saving money and other stuff that would be of interest to moms. Andrea sat next to me and she was just cute as a button. Look at her picture – don’t you think so? AND she grew up on a farm. Did you know that? What – you say you had no idea who she was to begin with? Well duh! Neither did I, but you have to start somewhere. So start with this – Andrea grew up on a farm! And she has two sons. And she has a lot of style (you can’t really tell from her head shot – but she dresses well). I think that’s enough about Andrea for today. But that’s okay – it takes a while to really get to know someone. One last Andrea-related detail though – she went to the trouble of providing everyone with several handouts on the content from her presentation. And I will have every intention of reading these and until they slip though the bottom of my purse and into the black hole that consumes pretty much anything handout, brochure or “reminder” related.

As a bonus parting gift, we were given a preview of the NEW Giant logo. That’s right – The “big G” is going away. I can’t show a picture of the logo or even describe it. If I do they’ll have to kill me. It’s top secret information until its unveiling on August 22. We were informed that we were the first people in the DC area to see the new logo – which of course made me feel very special and elitist again, ending the event on a resounding high note.

On my way out the door, I bumped into another attendee that I thought looked familiar. Turns out we went to high school together (hi Stephanie!). So we had a quick, high pitched chat before I had to run back to the office. Well – I’ll speak for myself regarding the high pitched part. I tend to walk away from this kind of reunion wondering when I turned into Minnie Mouse. Seems to be a girl thing since I’ve been with Chris on numerous occassions when he’s run into an old friend, and somehow there is no significant rise in octaves involved…

All in all – it was a great day. As a suburban mom, I don’t get out as much as I used to. And since I left my somewhat higher profile meeting planning job (for one with more “family friendly” hours), I don’t even get invited to that many professional events. Now when I peruse my latest issue of In Style magazine, I don’t have to envy the celebrities at fashion shows and charity events, picking up their bags of Jo Malone and Tiffany & Co. swag. I’ll just look at my reusable Giant shopping bag holding my new logo calculator, adjustable apron, multi-use clip and box of Simply Enjoy brand cookies, and smile as I relive the fond memory.

Thanks again Giant Food and Chef Geoff for putting together such a lovely event!

Bad Press Is Good Press

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When I wrote yesterday’s post about living big, taking chances and standing behind what I choose to say online, I didn’t expect to be faced with such immediate public consequences.

Before I had a chance to even think about what I would write next, I was given a clipping from a local paper that actually quoted me out of context AND made me sound like a suburban princess.

Every day my husband picks up The Washington Post’s free Express paper and reads it on the Metro. So does a woman that works with him (Hi Alicia!), and she saved us the Lookout Online page from July 30th. We were at the beach that week, but I still tried to get out a quick post (for a themed week of confessions) from the nearby inernet cafe each night. Who would have thought that one of my flaws would be picked up and then picked on.

This particular confession was that I have a hard time remembering to bring my eco-friendly shopping bags into the store, and as a result, have accumulated a bit of a collection.

Here is the piece that was published as part of the “Blog Log”:

“I HAVE 20 Whole Foods grocery bags in [my] trunk. I never remember to bring them into the store with me, so I continue to find myself buying new ones. I could just use the paper – but it’s now a matter of principle. That was the point of buying the first one.”

THEBIGPIECEOFCAKE.COM HAS CASH TO BURN NOT JUST ON GROCERIES FROM WHOLE FOODS, BUT APPARENTLY ALSO ON HER BAGS FOR THEM.

This paraphrased quote implies that I have tons of money because I sometimes shop at Whole Foods. I didn’t realize that I needed to clarify that I buy specific things at Whole Foods – not everything. Of course they left out the part where I say, “but when I go to the regular grocery store I use their plastic.” Wouldn’t one assume that calling the other option “regular” means that I go there, um, regularly.

Anyway – to get defensive and overexplain myself would be completely losing sight of my new devil may care attitude toward living online. So I will just say, “thanks Washington Post Express – I appreciate the plug.” Even if it wasn’t accurate.

First Month Wrap Up: Perverts and Haters and Mormons – Oh My!

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Well I’ve been blogging for a little over a month now – so I thought I’d do a write up on the experience.

First – I am proud to announce that even with a post titled Peeping Toms and Sex Perverts in Thailand, I still haven’t gotten all that many creepy key word searches. In fact, most seem to be cake-related. Which makes me feel bad because I kind of gave up on working in any cake-related content to accompany my metaphor… So my apologies to those people who got here thinking that I had fabulous recipes on offer.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get some weird ones… I still wince when I think about that “how big is a piece of poop” search I mentioned in the post referenced above. And there was also a very suspicious one for “big peince” that seems to have originated in Thailand. Something tells me they weren’t looking for cake. I also still get a lot of Darth Vader searches (sorry Star Wars fans). But my personal favorite from yesterday was “a famous mom blogger funny.” Really? After just a month? I’m now famous? Not quite. I clicked on the link to see what Google listed and – surprise – I’m not there. BUT Meghan, the creator of one of my favorite sites, AllMediocre was at the top of the list. So that was nice (you know – in a really happy for you – maybe I’ll live vicariously through you kind of way).

I also got to experience my first round of hate mail comments. Who knew that writing about how you don’t like driving a big car would make people so angry. I don’t get THAT many comments – so I’m really only talking about a handful of haters. But still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little.

I would like to commend Mr. T in DC for providing an opinion, but stating it without actual venom. It made me want to read what he said and think about it – not flinch as if someone had slapped me. I said it before and I’ll say it again, “there aren’t enough Mr. T in DCs out there…” Anonymous – you know how I feel about you, but I won’t stoop to your level of meanness.

And I’d like to take this opportunity to point out to the people that say “my parents had three children and never needed such a big car,” that your parents were raising children when car seats were removed once a child could sit up on their own, and the “way back” was considered an area for additional seating. Until you try to jam three car seats across the back seat of a sedan or smaller SUV (or a “station wagon” no less), please refer to Mr. T in DC’s comment for more realistic alternatives to suggest.

Really – it’s been great aside from the few assaults on my pornaphobic sensibilities and tender feelings. Feelings that are still a little hurt, by the way. As Rizzo from Grease said when she sang, There are Worse things I Could Do, “I can feel and I can cry – a fact I bet you never knew.” Okay – that’s not actually true – I’m over it. But I really like to quote musicals. Just ask my husband (I’ll have to write a post on that…)

The better moments have included getting crucified by my friends for thinking mommyhole.com was a harmless sounding domain name, learning how to do domain name searches as a form of entertainment (you play solitaire – I search domain names), crucifying my husband (payback for the mommyhole debacle) for being a creative slob, visiting my parents in Key West, drinking too much wine and not dancing responsibly, taking pictures of my son’s Star Wars underwear, and getting to tell off my friend’s ex-boyfriend Mayank online.

But my FAVORITE blog-related experience to date? Meeting the funny Mormons of course! I thought I was writing a post that only my other friends that didn’t know any Mormons would read, and to direct them to a Kacy‘s wonderfully funny blog, Every Day I Write the Book. It never occurred to me that Kacy would COMMENT. I literally shrieked like a teenage girl when I saw it (and I wasn’t one for shrieking when I WAS a teenager). It was both hilarious and horrifying at the same time. I quickly got over my embarrassment though since all of the comments that I got from Mormons (particularly Kacy, Rachel, “Vern”, Lisa and Bek) were incredibly warm and gracious. And informative – did you know that Jon Heder is Mormon and that there are all kinds of jokes in Napoleon Dynamite that only Mormons get? ME NEITHER!

Anyway – not only have I found some new online friends in the Mormon community, I’ve also been invited to guest post on Light Refreshments Served. I was instructed to keep it clean for the nice ladies that read it. And after slashing all of the curse words and pornographic imagery, I was able to come up with something that I think everyone can enjoy. I’ll be featured next Friday, August 1 – so put it on your calendar. And I’ll post a reminder next week.

So – 31 days….it’s hard to believe. It feels more like 40. Well – here’s to 40 (or 4,000) more! Thanks for reading me and COMMENT so I can read you too!