Love, Loss and What I Wore

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I wish I could claim that subject line as my own, but it’s actually the title of a wonderful little book I found about ten years ago. Ilene Beckerman, the author, published it when she was 60 years old. She wrote it for her five children whom, as she put it, “never thought I had a life before I was their mother.” This memoir is an account of growing up in Manhattan in the 1930s through the 1990s.

In this memoir, Ilene uses her sweet little drawings to represent the clothing she remembers as well as provide visuals for the stories of her life. This Materialistic Monday, I’m writing about it as a book to be read and a book to be gifted for anyone that loves fashion. Sadly – I was unable to capture my favorite images of dress styles, textiles and quirky trademark looks. But here are a few that give a feel for the illustrations and writing:

“My Brownie uniform.

My mother was a Brownie leader at Hunter College Elementary School, 69th Street, between Lexington and Park.

When I was seven, I went to Camp Brady, a sleep-away camp in Brewster, New York, for Brownies and Girl Scouts. My sister, who was five years older, was a Girl Scout and looked after me at camp.

There was no electricity. We had no flush toilets and had to go in an outhouse.”

“My grandmother bought me this dress from MacWise, a very exclusive store between 65th and 66th Streets on Madison. The people who owned the dress store were customers in my grandmother’s store, so my grandmother got it for very little when they couldn’t sell it.

The dress was much too sophisticated for a high-school girl, but my grandmother didn’t know that. It was strapless with rows of black velvet, alternating with rows of black faille. It was very tight.

I wore it to a party I went to with Dora on the West Side. We didn’t usually go to the West Side because we were snobby. We thought the boys on the West Side were too fast. I almost got into trouble at that party (very rare because I was so shy). I think it was because of the dress.

“This red T-strap was a favorite ‘going out’ shoe. Dora and I wore them, but Gay’s feet were too big to wear that style.

Most of the time, we wore black Capezio ballet slippers, which we bought on the 6th floor of Bonwit Teller’s on Saturday afternoons.”

After publishing Love, Loss and What I Wore, Ilene Beckerman wrote three other books. I gave one of them to my mother as a gift the year before I got married. It was titled Mother of the Bride: The Dream, The Reality, The Search for a Perfect Dress
. Of course I read it before giving it to her. Ilene says, “Childbirth is a lot easier than being mother of the bride.” We both loved it.


Front Cover


Back Cover

It’s only now that I’m writing about her that I’ve discovered the other two books,
What We Do for Love and Makeovers at the Beauty Counter of Happiness. The latter, written by Ilene at age 70, is said to include (unsent) letters to Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Marilyn Monroe, Mother Teresa and her eleven year old granddaughter. I think that may have to be my next purchase. As for the former, I found a list labeled “The Wisdom of Lillie Goldbert (Ilene’s grandmother).” Here are a few of my favorite items:
Stop looking for Prince Charming. Cinderella’s already got him.

A little charm, and you don’t have to look like

Hedy Lamarr.

It’s better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel lonely.

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Even Miss America can have hemorrhoids.

To a ninety-five year old mother, her seventy-year old daughter is still her baby.


These books aren’t just memoirs. They are works of art. And they illustrate how women visualize memories in terms of how they appeared as well as what they experienced. We all do that on some level, and Love, Loss and What I Wore made me realize that so many of my memories include details about the outfit I put together and how I it made me feel.

Ever wonder what a 70 years old author who began her successful writing career at age 60 looks like?

I don’t know about you – but this does wonders for my own confidence in a future with limitless possibilities.

*If you love reading about past decades of fashion in New York – I highly suggest Lucia Lucia, a novel by Adriana Trigiani. It’s about Lucia Sartori, the beautiful 25 year old daughter of an Italian grocer in 1950s Greenwich Village. As an apprentice to an acclaimed designer at B. Altman department store on Fifth Avenue, Lucia provides a view into vintage couture and style. It’s also a great book, but I’d recommend it on the fashion flash back alone! And now I sound like an expert on vintage fashion – which is far from true. But I do love it, so feel free to suggest other books and films.

10 thoughts on “Love, Loss and What I Wore”

  5. AnastasiaSpeaks

    I love that she started at 60…so inspiring and, like you said, shows the endless possibilities in our lives.

    Reply ↓
  6. Anna See

    I am thinking this would be such a neat thing to do for our daughters! My grandmother had a big attic, and I loved to hear her tell me about all of the clothes she had up there. Priceless.

    Reply ↓
  7. Connie

    Thank you so much for another book to add to my list of books I want to read but don’t have time because I have sooo many great blogs to read!

    This sounds like exactly the kind of book I would love.

    Reply ↓
  8. Betsy

    I love to read, and I think I’m going to fall in love with Irene! She seems like one cool chick!

    Thanks for the recommendation!

    Reply ↓

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