I’m skipping Monday Links this week since I really need to write something other than a list of great stuff other people posted.

I had a few of my own stories to tell last week and never got around to them. This has been happening far too often lately because I feel like I need more than 15 minutes to write (which is generally all I have – and yes, that includes the evening since my children don’t believe in bedtime anymore). So I may be going back to a summer “vacation” of short daily posts. What do you think?

Okay – on to the stuff from last week that I actually remember.

First there was this.

I never really pictured putting my children in a martial arts class before (Tae Kwon Do), but then I also never imagined myself relating to various characters in the 80s television show, Thirtysomething. So I guess these things happen.

Basically, I won a month of free lessons for George at the twins’ preschool silent auction. And then when I brought him in for a skill assessment and uniform fitting, the free month was also offered to my other two children. One of whom (Oliver) spent most of the half hour under a desk asking when we could go get ice cream. Obviously, I assumed that he would LOVE Tae Kwon Do!

Actually, it had been recommended for him by his audio processing therapist last summer, and I was thinking that it was time for him to have an activity outside of our usual two hours of free childcare in the kids’ gym at the YMCA and then a trip to Target summer program. Seriously though – I do take them to the pool and try to keep them busy outside…but we’ve never done anything very organized before. And the teachers in Oliver’s IEP meeting in May strongly suggested he be enrolled in activities with other kids over the vacation months.

We’re trying Tae Kwon Do.

And the first class was a smashing success!

For George and Eleanor.

Oliver wasn’t that into it and was very distracted by the mirrors. Why do studios always have to have mirrors anyway? From what I understand, it has something to do with being able to see yourself so you can correct your form… Whatever, narcissists.

Either way, it’s very inconvenient since Oliver has difficulty maintaining an appropriate level of attention for the instructor. Who was not only loud – but also had an accent that was hard to understand. Neither work well for kids with audio processing disorder. Or autism. Or lots of things that cause them to wander around a studio oblivious to everything around them except the awesome mirror which is PERFECT for practicing bizarre facial expressions and gestures that I’m pretty sure came directly out of a Pink Panther cartoon.

Thank god the dress I was wearing exempted me from participating in the “let’s get all of the new parents out on the mat for some kicks and leg lifts” segment of the class. I had visions of being required to spar with five year olds alongside Oliver to help him stay with the group. But before I blacked out from Blast Ball practice flash backs, I realized that I could just plead “too fancy” and escape back to the chairs.

It was a 45 minute class – and it was hard to watch. But ultimately, I was really proud of Oliver for not storming off the mat or crying. I mean, that’s what I would have felt like doing. He, on the other hand was pretty zen about the whole thing. And the unintelligible instructor was actually really great with Oliver and 100% responsible for the few times he was somewhat engaged. He also entertained my kids a little after the class while I talked to the director and we all left with smiles and a promise to be back on Saturday.

Don’t get me wrong – my feelings of anxiety didn’t evaporate, but they did take on a faint glimmer of hope for Saturday. I even tried to make Tae Kwon Do seem EXTRA fun by walking everyone over the the pizza place and putting in a to-go order. AND THEN skipping over to the grocery store to pick up a few items (wine) while we waited.

Of course we ran into people we know… Because when I’m wheeling around Safeway with a cart full of children eating doughnuts it’s a given that I’ll run into someone I know. (Side note: I always run into someone I know).

But I was too harried to care about the chocolate stains on the uniforms or the sticky fingers or the fact that I parked a mile away on the other side of the parking lot and had to carry heavy grocery bags and two pizza boxes while trying to keep my demented children from running into traffic or diving into the lake.

Don’t be jealous. My life really isn’t always this glamorous.

So fast forward to Saturday’s class.

The twins had a fantastic time and I could hear their screams of HIYA! above all the others. And while he was still a weird little ninja (more mime than martial artist), Oliver actually semi-participated. He more or less stayed with the group and needed far less cajoling to step away from the mirror. He didn’t sit while everyone was standing – or even worse, lie down. If you had never seen the first class, you may have thought he was all over the place – but having been there for both, I was astounded at how much better the second one went.

This evening we had our third class and he did EVEN BETTER. Still very goofy – and very confused about which foot/fist he was supposed to be using. But if it was appropriate, I would have been jumping up and down and clapping. If I really let myself go, there might have been tears.

So as of today…

The twins LOVE TAE KWON DO!

And Oliver doesn’t hate it!

This makes me very, very happy. And also gives me confidence in my ability to be a good parent. At least in some areas – remember I’m the mother who stuffs a six year old and two four year olds in a shopping cart at the grocery store and shuts them up with doughnuts… But here is something I’ve learned about my own children – especially Oliver: you have to just MAKE them do things.

It’s obvious when they’re not ready for an activity (HELLO – Blast Ball) – but more often than not, they just need a firm push and an encouraging smile. When they say NOIDON’TWANTTO-IWANTTOSTATHOME I just kindly hustle them along with a no-nonsense, “okay – we’ll see – let’s just go and give it a try.”

As much as I would rather just bag the whole thing and take them to Dairy Queen, I know that I’m not doing them any favors in the long run. They need me to be kind, but they also need me to be firm. To teach them that sometimes you have to just suck it up and do something, regardless of whether or not you feel like it.

Sometimes you can say “this isn’t for me“…but first you have to give it a chance. You have to just DO IT.

It’s a hard lesson that I’ve had to learn later in life. I’m still not very good at it, and fall short far too often. For myself and for them. But I want to change that. And I am. One Tae Kwon Do class at a time.

Tune in on Wednesday for the second story from last week – in which my knee swells up and my doctor actually uses the word “gout.” I tell ya’ – it just doesn’t get any sexier than that…

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