When we last left off from yesterday’s post (you may want to read that first – otherwise this might not make any sense), my early twenty-something friends and I were staring at older thirty-something women and thinking that we must have fallen into a time warp.

In the Fall of 1996 I was two years out of college and fully committed to my short skirts (skorts even!) and Jennifer Aniston shag. On this particular night, we were helping my roommate with some envelope stuffing for the non-profit she directed. The non-profit was established by Georgetown University students, so there were a number of older alumni on the board of directors.

The four of us were sitting at a table looking like a low budget version of the cast of Friends. How full of ourselves we were – and how confident in our style. Although we had varying poor body image obsessions, we managed to mask them with well thought out wardrobe choices. And as any self respecting insecure young women should be, we were very aware of the appearance of others.

It was obvious when we arrived that we were the youngest ones there, and we joked about how we were banished to the “kids table” in the front room while the older group that had known each other for over a decade gathered around a larger table in the back room. Our position afforded us a perfect view of everyone as they entered the house. And what a parade of 1980-ugly that was! (That last line was from the point of view of an obnoxious 24 year old fashion snob of course.)

When each woman walked by, our “Rachels” would swish in unison as we tracked their progress to the back of the room. Every one of them sported trends that harkened back to Ally Sheedy’s St. Elmo’s Fire wardrobe of boxy blazers and drop waist floral dresses. And horror of horrors, most matched the color of their heels to their outfit! We could barely contain our giggles and finger pointing. Of course I’ve exaggerated a bit for effect…we didn’t ALL have that particular Rachel-inspired hairstyle. My friend Maureen preferred a shorter “Monica.”

I started to list some of the comments I remembered us making, but deleted them since they made us sound far meaner than we actually were. We felt comfortable in our cattiness among friends, but wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to hear us (such is the way with everyday derision…). Let’s just say that our conversation included the following words and labels: “feathered,” “Laura Ashley,” “yoke,” “Forenza,” “pumps,” “electric blue,” “fire engine red.”

After a fair amount of laughing down memory lane, Maureen astutely observed that we would be next. She said, “ten years from now, younger girls will be sitting here laughing at us with our flip hairstyles and clunky shoes.” While this honest image made us laugh louder than any of the snide quips did, it also made me think. It actually made me a little uncomfortable – and this had nothing to do with the body suit I was wearing. I just didn’t like the idea of being outdated.

And I still don’t. But starting with that minor observation from a friend, I had to recognize the fact that I would someday show traces of my own early style influences. And I would likely get stuck in my own fashion time warps. I would get busy with life and not notice that hair didn’t curl up anymore. I would continue to clomp around in my sturdy heeled pilgrim shoes while other women tippity tapped on pointier toes. While I couldn’t predict the future trends that would sweep past the stake I had so firmly driven into my claim for a 1996 identity, I began to feel the noose I had been fashioning for myself.

But knowledge is power right? And that evening, my friend inadvertently gave me some sage advice. You don’t really have to get stuck in a particular style era. And if you do, you can always pull yourself out of it. The first step is to open your eyes and realize that there is a lot of great style out there and not all of it conforms to what celebrities of the hour are wearing on screen. It’s perfectly fine to find a look that works for you – the trick is to make it translate into the current styles. This is where those 80s ladies went wrong. They didn’t update the styles that they liked – they just kept wearing the old version.

I’ve always preferred to learn from the mistakes of others. Seriously – let them do the dirty work. And I am happy to report that I am not in fact stuck in 1996. I’d say that I’m AT LEAST holding strong at a respectable 2006. So I’d like to thank those women who never gave up on their trusty green eyeliner or their tried and true Mia flats. And I’d also like to acknowledge any 80s die hards who stuck it out for another decade. If this is you – give yourself a pat on the back. Congratulations girls – the fickle fashion world is cyclical and you are now back in style!

Recently – my Aunt Jan and I had a conversation about style and how we don’t actually see it changing. Or maybe people like Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia see it changing – but people like me don’t notice that we’ve fallen behind until we look in the mirror and see styles made popular by the original cast of Beverly Hills 90210. Hey – at least those girls were wearing mom jeans and comfortable shoes. There’s no way I could keep up with this new emaciated generation of fictional Beverly Hills high school students.

Seriously though – I’m NOT still wearing baby doll dresses with t-shirts (and never did since I thought this made my hips look big) or roomy overalls (didn’t buy into that one either – just made me look like a giant toddler). My current style is fairly up to date…in a conservative, make-it-last investment suit plus cheaper trendy accessories sort of way. But I do think that you can often lose track of how styles are changing for periods of time, and find yourself stuck in a rut with one that got just a little too comfortable.

This is easy to do since each style era spends a significant amount of time being the basis for a progression of more specific trends. When you are in the middle of one of these eras, the styles you see around you become the standard for “normal.” I was in high school in the late 80s, and if I ever saw ANYONE in bellbottom pants, I would probably have raced right over to peg the legs for them. But then when I entered college in 1990, I discovered boot cut jeans. Within just a couple of years, my standard for normal looking jeans had completely changed. And of course, several years later, those jeans were looking decidedly flared. Did I notice this progression while it was happening? Of course not. But I was young and automatically kept up with the changes.

Aunt Jan remembers being right smack in the middle the polyester and afro haired glory of 1972, and thinking that there wasn’t really a “feel” for the 70s. Not like there was for the 60s and 50s. No – with the emerging 70’s styles, “everyone just looked normal.” A thought that probably flew into her head at the sight of a white man using a pick to fluff up his globe of tight curly hair. Right…no feel…

But I remember having the same thought in the mid 80s. I was probably reading a Seventeen Magazine article on how neon is the new black and listening to the Footloose soundtrack when I came to the realization that after several colorful decades marked by distinctive styles (the poodle skirts of the 50s, the miniskirts of the 60s, the bellbottoms of the 70s…), my skin tight Guess jeans with the zippers at the bottom were so plain (hmmm…and my hair was feeling a little flat…time to poof up those bangs with some more gel).

Now I’m smarter – I KNOW that in about ten years were going to look at old pictures and see a bunch of…well….I don’t know because of course it all looks so normal right now. But I’m guessing that my Lucky Brand jeans with heeled boots will not be au courant.

Here is my fear (and the point of all of this): As a generally overworked, underpaid suburban mom of three, I don’t have a lot of time or money to invest in fashion. What if I get lazy? What if I get stuck in a rut? What if everyone around me is wearing micro minis with moon boots and I’m still wearing boyfriend jeans with flats? Of course I don’t think that particular scenario is likely as I’m not loving Katie Holmes’ look of pegged boyfriend jeans (famous last words…) – I’m just illustrating my point.

Interestingly enough, I can pinpoint the exact moment that this idea of style stagnancy took root. I was just a couple of years out of college and sitting with friends as we watched women ten years older than us file in to the room looking like a throwback to our older sisters’ high school graduation pictures.

I’ll have to stop now and get back to that tomorrow, as this post already quite long. Come visit me tomorrow to hear the rest.

By the way: If you are enjoying these little blasts from the past – I suggest visiting my friend Connie over at The Young and The Relentless. She started a new feature called The Connie Diaries. At the end of every month she posts excerpts and pictures from her old diaries. Here is a quote from last month: “August 1, 1985 – Only 2 more days until my party! I am mega excited. I am decorating with steamers in blue, red, yellow, green, pink and white!! It will look awesome!!” And how about this one from Monday: “September 20, 1985 – Lola and Shirley asked Sean’s friend Keith if he would ask Sean if I could wear his football jersey on Friday. I told them not to but did they listen to me? NO! I am so embarrassed!” Can’t wait to see what Connie is up to in October 1985. Sounds like the details of her first kiss will be exposed…