Tag Archives: George

When in Doubt…Gout?

11 Replies

Last week, I had one of those increasingly frequent inexplicable physical ailments that make me think my body is literally falling apart. It’s age right? I’m just getting old. As if wrinkles weren’t enough of a reminder…

This time it was my knee. Not my favorite body part on the best of days, it decided to become even less attractive by swelling up and turning bright red. And it really hurt, which made me worry about injuries to my knee cap. Chris once had a torn meniscus and it took months to heal. There were even crutches involved.

And I’ll tell you right now that I CANNOT be injured like that at the moment. It’s the beginning of summer!

I have to entertain two four year olds and a six year old all day every day, and had planned to do that with trips to the pool, walks in the woods and general avoid the TV at all costs so Oliver won’t pick up any other bizarre cartoon mannerisms that make him look like a mini-mime activities. I was actually mentally preparing myself for this, as I’m not a naturally energetic and playful person.

I’m also not one to make a big deal out of aches and pains (or even swelling), so everyone knew I was serious when I pulled out the ibuprofen and ice packs. I even harassed Chris by demanding an examination and prognosis every ten minutes and detailed descriptions of what a torn meniscus felt like.

I considered going to the ER.

I know – it sounds like a huge overreaction, but I wanted to know exactly what was wrong and what I should be (and shouldn’t be) doing so I could fix it as quickly as possible.

Chris told me that it would probably look better in the morning, and if it didn’t I could see my doctor.

It didn’t. And I did.

Luckily I could get a morning appointment since their Friday hours are shorter. And expecting the actual consultation to be fast, I didn’t bother looking for a last minute sitter for the twins. It wouldn’t scare them to see a doctor poke at my knee, and I wouldn’t have to worry about the TMI aspect of say, an annual internal exam with my gynecologist. So I figured I could just bring them in with me.

We arrived and waited a bit, then FINALLY, a medical professional took a look at my giant, puffy knee cap and said, “huh…”

Apparently, the fact that I was able to walk and stand without excruciating pain ruled out tears or other serious problems with muscle and bone. But the lack of an obvious point of entry (like from a bug bite) or bruise didn’t provide any other answers.

I told her about how I thought I may have banged my knee on the car door a couple of days before, but that it was hard to remember since I do something like that roughly a thousand times a week. That didn’t help to shed any further light on the subject.

I also pointed to what looked like a slightly bluish area next to my knee that could possibly be a bruise. But then she pointed to a soon-to-be varicose vein and said the discoloration was probably connected to that. Talk about insult to injury! Bringing my unsightly old lady leg veins into this…

But wait! It gets better. She started to give me a long technical explanation about what they look for in cases like mine that sounded something like, “blah blah blah swelling blah blah blah point of entry blah blah blah bruise blah blah blah pain blah blah blah blah blah blah gout blah blah blah…”

WAIT a minute! Stop right there. Did she just say GOUT? As in “I may have gout?” Seriously?

Seriously??

Okay – so there may have been a couple of other unintelligible and unmemorable possibilities that were mentioned…but I guess I only have ears for “gout.”

Remember – I just had a hernia repair surgery a few months ago. You can’t give me gout now. What am I? An eighty year old man?!

It’s just wrong…

So after she revived me with smelling salts (just kidding), she handed me two orders for tests. First, blood work upstairs and then an x-ray downstairs. All of which took an additional two hours to complete.

I have to throw in there that my four year old twins were major troopers about the whole thing. On top of their concern that mom might “get dead” (because needles and machines make things seem pretty serious), we spent a lot of time in waiting rooms where they had to sit still and be quiet (epilogue: they did neither).

A few days later (featuring elephant-size doses of ibuprofen every eight hours), the swelling has gone down considerably. And while still sore, it feels more like I have a bad bruise than a leg threatening disease. So I’m no longer concerned about my forced march of an active summer being put at risk.

Still no word on the test results though. I was told it would probably be another day or two before I got a call – and I really don’t think I have gout…but I’ll let you know either way.

The important thing is that I’m feeling better. And that I’ve been humiliated with ANOTHER potential ailment associated with men who are on their third wife and their fourth red Ferrari. Can’t wait to see what comes my way next! Check back in a few months to hear all about how my sciatica has been acting up.

See ya’ around the Senior Center!

Just [Tae Kwon] Do It

8 Replies

I’m skipping Monday Links this week since I really need to write something other than a list of great stuff other people posted.

I had a few of my own stories to tell last week and never got around to them. This has been happening far too often lately because I feel like I need more than 15 minutes to write (which is generally all I have – and yes, that includes the evening since my children don’t believe in bedtime anymore). So I may be going back to a summer “vacation” of short daily posts. What do you think?

Okay – on to the stuff from last week that I actually remember.

First there was this.

I never really pictured putting my children in a martial arts class before (Tae Kwon Do), but then I also never imagined myself relating to various characters in the 80s television show, Thirtysomething. So I guess these things happen.

Basically, I won a month of free lessons for George at the twins’ preschool silent auction. And then when I brought him in for a skill assessment and uniform fitting, the free month was also offered to my other two children. One of whom (Oliver) spent most of the half hour under a desk asking when we could go get ice cream. Obviously, I assumed that he would LOVE Tae Kwon Do!

Actually, it had been recommended for him by his audio processing therapist last summer, and I was thinking that it was time for him to have an activity outside of our usual two hours of free childcare in the kids’ gym at the YMCA and then a trip to Target summer program. Seriously though – I do take them to the pool and try to keep them busy outside…but we’ve never done anything very organized before. And the teachers in Oliver’s IEP meeting in May strongly suggested he be enrolled in activities with other kids over the vacation months.

We’re trying Tae Kwon Do.

And the first class was a smashing success!

For George and Eleanor.

Oliver wasn’t that into it and was very distracted by the mirrors. Why do studios always have to have mirrors anyway? From what I understand, it has something to do with being able to see yourself so you can correct your form… Whatever, narcissists.

Either way, it’s very inconvenient since Oliver has difficulty maintaining an appropriate level of attention for the instructor. Who was not only loud – but also had an accent that was hard to understand. Neither work well for kids with audio processing disorder. Or autism. Or lots of things that cause them to wander around a studio oblivious to everything around them except the awesome mirror which is PERFECT for practicing bizarre facial expressions and gestures that I’m pretty sure came directly out of a Pink Panther cartoon.

Thank god the dress I was wearing exempted me from participating in the “let’s get all of the new parents out on the mat for some kicks and leg lifts” segment of the class. I had visions of being required to spar with five year olds alongside Oliver to help him stay with the group. But before I blacked out from Blast Ball practice flash backs, I realized that I could just plead “too fancy” and escape back to the chairs.

It was a 45 minute class – and it was hard to watch. But ultimately, I was really proud of Oliver for not storming off the mat or crying. I mean, that’s what I would have felt like doing. He, on the other hand was pretty zen about the whole thing. And the unintelligible instructor was actually really great with Oliver and 100% responsible for the few times he was somewhat engaged. He also entertained my kids a little after the class while I talked to the director and we all left with smiles and a promise to be back on Saturday.

Don’t get me wrong – my feelings of anxiety didn’t evaporate, but they did take on a faint glimmer of hope for Saturday. I even tried to make Tae Kwon Do seem EXTRA fun by walking everyone over the the pizza place and putting in a to-go order. AND THEN skipping over to the grocery store to pick up a few items (wine) while we waited.

Of course we ran into people we know… Because when I’m wheeling around Safeway with a cart full of children eating doughnuts it’s a given that I’ll run into someone I know. (Side note: I always run into someone I know).

But I was too harried to care about the chocolate stains on the uniforms or the sticky fingers or the fact that I parked a mile away on the other side of the parking lot and had to carry heavy grocery bags and two pizza boxes while trying to keep my demented children from running into traffic or diving into the lake.

Don’t be jealous. My life really isn’t always this glamorous.

So fast forward to Saturday’s class.

The twins had a fantastic time and I could hear their screams of HIYA! above all the others. And while he was still a weird little ninja (more mime than martial artist), Oliver actually semi-participated. He more or less stayed with the group and needed far less cajoling to step away from the mirror. He didn’t sit while everyone was standing – or even worse, lie down. If you had never seen the first class, you may have thought he was all over the place – but having been there for both, I was astounded at how much better the second one went.

This evening we had our third class and he did EVEN BETTER. Still very goofy – and very confused about which foot/fist he was supposed to be using. But if it was appropriate, I would have been jumping up and down and clapping. If I really let myself go, there might have been tears.

So as of today…

The twins LOVE TAE KWON DO!

And Oliver doesn’t hate it!

This makes me very, very happy. And also gives me confidence in my ability to be a good parent. At least in some areas – remember I’m the mother who stuffs a six year old and two four year olds in a shopping cart at the grocery store and shuts them up with doughnuts… But here is something I’ve learned about my own children – especially Oliver: you have to just MAKE them do things.

It’s obvious when they’re not ready for an activity (HELLO – Blast Ball) – but more often than not, they just need a firm push and an encouraging smile. When they say NOIDON’TWANTTO-IWANTTOSTATHOME I just kindly hustle them along with a no-nonsense, “okay – we’ll see – let’s just go and give it a try.”

As much as I would rather just bag the whole thing and take them to Dairy Queen, I know that I’m not doing them any favors in the long run. They need me to be kind, but they also need me to be firm. To teach them that sometimes you have to just suck it up and do something, regardless of whether or not you feel like it.

Sometimes you can say “this isn’t for me“…but first you have to give it a chance. You have to just DO IT.

It’s a hard lesson that I’ve had to learn later in life. I’m still not very good at it, and fall short far too often. For myself and for them. But I want to change that. And I am. One Tae Kwon Do class at a time.

Tune in on Wednesday for the second story from last week – in which my knee swells up and my doctor actually uses the word “gout.” I tell ya’ – it just doesn’t get any sexier than that…

[Pre]School is Out for the Summer!

8 Replies

Friday was the last day of preschool for the twins. Well – until September. They still have another year before they start Kindergarten. But this was their first year of real school and I have to thank them for making the entire process SO EASY.

Oliver wasn’t nearly as keen on the idea of school since he started (special  needs preschool) when he was two. He didn’t have older siblings to envy. He didn’t appreciate the glamor and privilege of owning his very own backpack. 

So the excitement and anticipation, and PRIDE that George and Eleanor felt about going to school was a completely different experience.

They never cried at drop off or begged to stay home with me. And on the weeks that I worked at the school (it’s a co-op), they were just happy to have me there. No clinging or acting out. Okay – maybe a little acting out – but that had less to do with me being present than their four-year-old-ness.

They’ve gone on field trips – both with and without me, had play dates with new friends, claimed and fought over “best” friends… They’ve been independent.

September 2010

May 2011

And now I’m the own who is proud. I also shed a tear or two thinking about my babies growing up so fast. But that’s all part of the package. It’s in the fine print you don’t read while signing on the dotted line. I guess, there’s always a price….

But it’s totally worth it.

DUS DORGE!

9 Replies

I’ve written about my quirky “middle child” George and his very distinctive turns of phrase. And I know I really should be working on this with him now that he’s approaching age five… But I’m sorry – it’s just so damn cute.

I dread the day when he stops saying “Hey AY-body!” (“Hey everybody!“) I’ve started a list of favorites in my head so I don’t forget them:

elebator and eccalator (elevator and escalator)

Ice wah’er COLD (ice water)

Pinkie bank (piggy bank)

EEEmember? (remember?)

Ah OR did! (I already did!)

Miss Kelfer (Mrs. Kelleher – his teacher)

Slow ho (slow poke – I KNOW!)

Ah don wan be AY-thing. I wan be DUS DORGE! (I don’t want to be anything. I want to be just George! – in response to a suggested game of pretend)

See Mai – you gah do lak dat! (See Mommy – you have to do it like that!)

Ah don know fer eat! (I don’t know what I want to eat.)

Last time ago… (a long time ago…)

Ah lak a zert! (I like dessert!)

Notice the trend of exclamation points? My boy is quite vehement  in his self expression. A neighborhood friend with a son the same age calls this patois, George’s “preschool jive.”

Eleanor is endlessly entertained by my imitations of George. As am I (since I find MYSELF endlessly entertaining). So we tend to repeat his little sayings until they become part of our daily lexicon. Not great for teaching him proper English…

But not everything George says could be classified as preschool jive. His speech is sometimes quite clear. But he generally makes up for clarity with hilarity. For example, this exchange that took place as we encountered a miasma of mixed perfume scents in the cosmetics department of Macy’s:

Eleanor: It smells like cooking in here.

Me: Do you think it smells like “cookies” or “cooking?”“

Eleanor: I think it smells like cooking.

Me: I think it smells like incense.

George: I think it smells like fashion.

This just may be my favorite thing that anyone has ever said… So I think I’ll end with that, AND a clip I posted recently of my favorite thing that anyone has ever done:

Oh George…I don’t know anyone like you. You’re a true original.

Data Entry Hell, the Twins Want Me to Look 80 Before I’m 40, AND LINKS!

7 Replies

I have mentioned a few times that I’m working on setting up an online store for my parents’ home furnishings shop, Style Key West. And I actually had the hubris to think that it would be all done by last Friday. I even ignored my blogs for a week to work on the project. And guess what? IT’S STILL NOT DONE. I’m in data entry hell.

That’s wildly exaggerated of course, because “hell” implies that I hate data entry. And in the spirit of full disclosure I have to say, I actually kind of like data entry. I find it soothing and even satisfying. Something related to my slight OCD streak I’m sure – but either way, it’s not so much “hell” as it is time consuming. So I’m going to be fairly absent for another week. I do have one short post in mind that may go up before Saturday – but that’s chancy at best.

In the meantime – I collected many links over the course of two weeks since I did take blog READING (as opposed to writing) breaks. I didn’t get through my entire reader mind you – but at this point, a comprehensive list would be obnoxious (or at the very least, unkind).

Before that though I’d just like to announce that Eleanor and George have started a new campaign against my looks. I will be 40 next year, and anti-age creams have been a staple of my personal maintenance routine since I was 34. Basically since the twins were born. And for every smear of eye cream that goes onto my crows feet, they insist on giving me new wrinkles on a daily basis.

And how do they do this? They fight – they fight – they fight and fight and fight…




…fight fight fight – bite bite bite – the Eleanor and Georgie show!

A theme song that runs through my head pretty much 24/7 these days. Except in my head, I hear it as “The Screamy and Shrieky Show.” It’s a magical time…

And now for the links!

Here’s a handy calendar of all 2011 blogging conferences
What are your biggest fears?

Being your own better half

More “Momness“

If Advertising was honest

Wise words on reinventing yourself

Wendy concludes that they really don’t make ’em like they used to (this was actually one of my very favorite posts)

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who gets real world knowledge from TV dramas AND has had to climb from the back to the front seat because of child safety locks

How could this NOT be your favorite new book?

A successful blogger’s honest account (when does she not?) of how she’s made money through blogging.

Ever been to a bullfight?

Graphic Novels for special needs kids who express resistance to reading

Metamorphosis (via Marinka)

How to be Alone:

Living with chronic “bitch face“

Super cute wooden heart ring
Are you lucky enough to live in a city hosting one of the LTYM shows? If so – BUY A TICKET:
Los Angeles, CA – May 1
Austin, TX – April 30
Valparaiso, IN – May 7
Spokane, WA – May 8
Madison, WI – May 8
Seriously – I’m so sad one of these isn’t in driving distance. I would definitely be in the audience.

I did it!

18 Replies

So tiny, four year old George wanted to ride on HUGE, six year old Oliver’s brand new bicycle. I have not idea how he actually got moving…maybe Chris pushed him? But I’ve been watching this non-stop since we downloaded it.

Now that’s the kind of attitude we all need to adopt.

Brave Hands

13 Replies

My son, George is four years old.

He is small and slim.

He looks fragile – huge brown eyes floating over a wisp of a body.

Tiny shoulders. Pale skin you can almost see through.

In his raggedy, end of season too short pants, he looks like he just walked out of a production of Oliver. Blow some soot on his elfin face for instant street urchin.

He’s scrappy like those pickpockets too. Grabby and squabbley. And LOUD. His voice carries.

Just in case you might miss him.

His looks deceive.

When he was born – the first of two babies in two minutes – he was red and screaming. Skinny legs kicking – a precursor to stamping tantrums that weren’t left behind in the terrible two’s.

He’s an angry elf.

But sometimes I think the rages are an expression of the just too muchness inside of him. He’s too big for his little body. You can see it in his eyes.

And for every frustrated outburst there is an equally spectacular explosion of enthusiasm.

Gathering acorns! Making a pile of rocks! The collections never end.

Money! I found money! My bright shiny penny.

My good luck charm.

Things happen around George. Of his making or not – he’s the Pied Piper of events. The ones that become stories we like to tell each other.

That time George opened the container of hot pepper spice and burned his face and insisted on wearing big superhero bandaids under his eyes like war paint…that time he walked around the community pool wearing a swim shirt, goggles, water wings AND and an inner tube…that time he told some guy in the men’s room that he forgot to flush… George makes an impression.

He’s always seen. You never miss him.

Because he’s brave.

He has no fear of not fitting in…of not being good at something. He’s that kid who won’t leave. The one who doesn’t ask if he can join in. He assumes his acceptance.

If the big kids are playing Wii, then he will learn how. And he will be just as good at it.

If the big kids are climbing trees, then he will climb too.

He may end up crying for mommy to get him down – but the next day, he’ll follow them back up that tree. He doesn’t give up on what he wants.

He’s a good climber. Always has been.

There is a pole in our basement – one with some support function that eludes me. In my everyday life, it’s a source of bumps and bruises – tears to be kissed away. It’s the origin of loud banging noises that let me know the natives are restless. The percussion section of a preschool rock band.

It’s also a good climbing pole. Or at least it is for George.

Oliver can climb trees – but not poles. And Eleanor isn’t much of a climber. But George shimmies up that pole every day.

He smacks the ceiling with the flat of his little hand and calls out to the ant-like forms of his siblings below. He likes his aerial view. He thinks he belongs at the top.

The other morning George came upstairs to tell me about his climbing.

“I’m a good climber! I climb very high!“

“Yes – I know. I’ve seen you.“

“I’m a good climber because I have brave hands.”

Yes he does. I admire this about him.

He’s brave. Always has been. I’ve seen it every day since I first caught sight of his screaming red face.

He’s brave and he has the hands to prove it. And every day, he holds my heart firmly between them.

I Very Missed You

11 Replies

“Mommy! Where were you? It was too long. I cried.

“I very missed you.”


“‘Cause I pretty love you.”

-George Hood, February 2011

So yeah – things have gotten A LOT better since the last time I posted. I mean, I still have a “suspicious mass” in my lower abdomen and an appointment with a general surgeon tomorrow. But I’m also still feeling pretty confident that it’s all going to be just fine.

And the morose depression stuff? Also better. Talking to my husband and hearing from so many good friends helped put things into perspective. Actually, just knowing how much people care was probably the biggest help. Even though I closed comments, I still got e-mails from the people I don’t see every day. I wasn’t great about replying – but I do want to thank all of you who went out of your way to reach out to me. I’m not very good at asking for help – especially when I think I’m being overly dramatic (which is always). But every single message warmed my heart and reminded me of just how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life, IRL or otherwise!

In the meantime, I figured some things out, and now have an exciting new opportunity that involves blogging and design/decor. But I’ll have to write more about that tomorrow along with details about how my appointment went.

Continue to send me the prayers, positive thoughts and good juju. I honestly believe that all of it counts. Just knowing that it’s coming my way makes a big difference. And makes me even more sure that I’ll kick ass in this whole surgery thing.


Even though I’m a wuss. I can fake it.

I DID IT! – Oh Yeah, and Merry Christmas!

15 Replies

It wasn’t easy – but I did it. I actually got all three of my children to look semi-normal in a picture in front of our Christmas tree. AND I put it on a card and mailed it.

Remember that review I did for Shutterfly? Here is the finished product:




I did have one other picture that I would have preferred to use, but the composition didn’t work with any of the border layouts I liked. By making this one black and white though, it came together quite nicely.

I do wish that Oliver had a better looking haircut (those bangs!). But it was the first time since he was a year old that he didn’t thrash and scream. So I was going to like whatever they did to him – even if it was a mohawk or “business in the front, party in the back.”

The inside cover picture of Eleanor isn’t a face shot since she just LOVES that dress and you can’t really see it on the front of the card. She would have had some words for me about the “snowflakes” not showing, and I just don’t’ have the energy for it…

As for George – he’s easy. He’s a bad, bad, bad little boy – but he’s very photogenic.

Finally – it would have been nice if the boys were wearing something a little less, um, “Memorial Day picnic” for the picture. But they don’t have anything in long sleeves with a collar. I figured that ubiquitous white polos would be fine.

So that’s it – my first ever holiday card of all three children. And it’s actually pretty good. Best Christmas present ever.

I’ll be taking the next week off to catch up on my blog reading (I think I’m a month behind…)

So Happy Holidays! And I’ll see you in the New Year!

Yours, Mine and Never the Twain Shall Meet (Plus a Few Holiday Highlights)

10 Replies


I don’t think it’s possible for me to not post about my Christmas tree. It’s the highlight of my holiday season and a photo shoot inevitably takes place the morning after it’s trimmed (I always decorate at night – much better for testing the lights).

This year was a little bit different as we had two tree trimming parties. One for the kids’ tree and one for mine. Theirs was a raucous party of willy nilly ornament placement and candy cane stealing. Mine was a more sedate OCD party for one.

It was clear to me that this would be the year for two trees. There was just a little too much talk about holiday decorating as the Christmas DVD watching began to rev up after Thanksgiving. Every day I was getting requests for tinsel and popcorn to string – neither of which work with my my own decorating aesthetic. So I saw the writing on the wall – hieroglyphics of children molesting my pretty little tree with their indiscriminate strewing of festive bling – and I bought a Target tree to suffer their enthusiastic pawing.

Here is their tree:





And here is mine:






I know – the security panel behind it is an eyesore – but it’s the best corner for the tree. I just pretend it’s not there.

Don’t worry – I know that some of you (Christy) prefer the colorful kids’ tree to my more conservative one. My feelings aren’t hurt. I’m very open minded when it comes to personal holiday style. To each his own and all.

Which is exactly why we have two trees in our house and I love them equally. Or more accurately – I love how much my kids love their tree as much as I love mine.

Other holiday highlights include going to visit Santa. After waiting in line for an hour fighting with the boys over the fake snow they insisted on flinging at each other, we walked away with one of the worst pictures ever taken of my children. Oh well – at least they were polite to Santa and didn’t cry or pee on him or anything.

I’ve also reveled in the rare treat of watching my daughter dance around the house in a lovely party dress that isn’t pink OR sparkly. The stars aligned and she picked out a Christmas dress that not only didn’t make me cringe, but that I actually would have picked out for her on my own. Isn’t this adorable? And it’s NAVY of all things:



And of course, nostalgia has reigned as we’ve watched all of the movies from my childhood through the eyes of this new generation. With the exception of Oliver’s eyes during the viewing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The abominable snowman scared the bejeezus out of him and he wouldn’t come back into the room until it was over. But I did get a good laugh out of Eleanor’s periodic alerts that “It’s not scary Oliver! It’s CUTE!“

So this has been quite the merry and messy holiday season. Joy is abundant. Hope prevails. Magic is a given. Hope your December has been as festive (and pink and purple) as ours. Look for our holiday greeting on Saturday and in the meantime, much love to you and yours!