More Celebrity Sightings at The Yellow Rose Cafe

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In one of my memes last week, I mentioned that I once brushed elbows with Tom Cruise without even knowing it. I also told a story about following Brooke Shields into an elevator because I thought she was Hope from Days of Our Lives. Suffice it to say, I will not be hired as an Us Weekly staff photographer anytime soon.

Maybe it’s because they look shorter in person. That’s what people say right? That they always expect celebrities to look taller. But I don’t think that’s the case for me. Everyone knows that Tom Cruise is short and Brooke Shields is an amazon in person. No – I just don’t recognize stars out of context. Maybe they don’t look as sparkly in person.

Since I went to college in New York and have visited “The City” on numerous occasions to visit friends and family, I’ve had plenty of opportunities for celebrity sightings. And I’ve probably had even more than I know of since I haven’t always been with a less oblivious friend to point them out to me.

A few examples that I remember well occurred at my weekend job in college. I worked brunch shifts as a hostess at The Yellow Rose Cafe, a restaurant on the Upper West Side (81st & Amsterdam to be exact). Don’t look for it – it’s not there anymore, but I have fond memories of free pancakes and breakfast burritos. Oh – and flan. I discovered flan there (which I thought of as cold crème brûlée without a crunchy top).

The first time I had a celebrity sighting at The Yellow Rose, I didn’t know it until the unrecognized actor had already left. A huge group came in and we had to create a large table for them in the cocktail area (the restaurant area was roughly the size of a shoe box}. Since they weren’t in the main dining space, I waited on them. It was obvious that one man was the leader of the group. So in an attempt to avoid interrupting the animated conversation taking place, I would check in with him to see if anything was needed. After two hours of chatting with this man as I took orders and refreshed coffee, I waved goodbye to the group and started to clean up. It was only then that one of my coworkers mentioned that it was Jeff Daniels. Not the most exciting of celebrity sightings – but come ON. I’d just seen The Butcher’s Wife, and after two hours I didn’t notice who he was? What’s wrong with me?

The next Yellow Rose celebrity sighting that I remember was that of a famous musician. The way that the restaurant was set up was kind of like a horseshoe. There were two doors into the space, and they were placed on either side of an entrance to the apartments upstairs. The first door, on the left opened into the bar. Up a few stairs behind the bar were the cocktail area and the office. A small hallway connected the cocktail area to the kitchen and wait station, and then a few steps down was the dining area. The second door, on the right opened into the dining area. To avoid chaos, we had a sign in the door on the restaurant side that said “please use other door.” This was pretty self explanatory, and you would think that patrons would see that sign and move on to the other door. You would be wrong. People CONSTANTLY walked in the wrong door, and as the hostess (and as a self absorbed college student), I found this endlessly annoying. And this was obvious since much huffing and puffing and eye rolling would commence every time someone walked in the wrong door. And yes – I did this in front of the customers. I was the best hostess ever.

Sorry for the detailed floor plan description – but it’s kind of important to the story. Back to the story… One Spring day, I was hanging out in the wait station, staring listlessly down at the three people sitting in the restaurant and wondering when the rush would begin. And of course hoping it wouldn’t. As the hostess, I didn’t make tips and would much rather sit in the cocktail area watching a Real World New York marathon on MTV. Just as I was thinking that it might be time to order myself a second plate of pancakes, a very tall, skinny man walked in THE WRONG DOOR. People in Central Park probably heard my huffing and puffing. At the very least they could hear me stomping down the short aisle of tables to intercept yet another blind customer.

In my defense, the door was open so the sign was literally dangling at eye level and swaying in the warm breeze from the street. And I saw him put his hands out in front of his haggard face to move the sign out of his way. He actually touched the sign and blatantly ignored it. I was incensed. As I “greeted” him, I asked in my best bitchy New York hostess tone how many people would be in his party. He just pointed to the back of the restaurant. I assumed that he was pointing to the table where he wanted to sit. So I started to lead him in that direction. I asked if a table for two would be okay and again, he just pointed. I was outraged. He couldn’t be bothered to open his mouth and answer me? It was unbelievable. Then after some passive aggressive eye rolling I put menus down on a table that seemed to be in the trajectory of his finger. Without one glance in my direction, he walked past me and sat down with a woman at the next table.

When I returned to the wait station fuming, I told Kevin Bone, one of the waiters about the rudest man on the planet that was currently seated in his section. Kevin looked down at the table, squinted and said, “hey – that’s Lou Reed.”

The last celebrity sighting that I’d like to relate would be using the term “celebrity” very loosely. But it’s also my favorite. It was 1992ish and I had been working at The Yellow Rose for a couple of years. One of the waiters that worked the brunch shifts with me was named Eddie. He was an actor (of course) and never failed to make me laugh with his deadpan comments and observations. I also knew that Eddie’s dad was a successful TV actor. Meaning he had small supporting roles on TV shows and would look familiar to me if I saw him (in theory of course since we’ve already established that I don’t recognize actors).

One weekend that Eddie was out of town, a man came in and asked for him. When he heard that Eddie wouldn’t be back for several days, he was very disappointed. Apparently he was just visiting New York and would be leaving the next day. I don’t remember all that much about this part of the conversation because I was too busy thinking about how many nanoseconds were left before my shift ended. But I did muster up enough consideration to suggest that he leave a message. As he was writing his message on the paper I provided, he started to explain how he knew Eddie. Again – since I wasn’t particularly interested, I didn’t catch most of the details. But I did start to think that there was something kind of familiar about him. He was talking about how he knew Eddie’s father, that they had been on a television show together….blah, blah, blah. At this point, I was thinking, “this guy really wants me to recognize him from TV – who the hell is he?” Then he said, “you may have seen it – it was a show called Newhart.” And it finally came to me. He was Larry. As in, “hi – I’m Larry – this is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl.” Awesome.

Anyone under the age of 32 (and some possibly older than that) might not have any idea what I’m talking about – but if you ever watched Newhart, you would have to agree. He was by far the best celebrity sighting I had at The Yellow Rose. And god love him – he managed to walk in the right door.

At the end of the day, that’s what really counts with me. I think that I don’t recognize celebrities because I’m not impressed by celebrity. Aside from devouring Us Weekly…well, weekly – I don’t have that much interest in seeing actors. They’re far more interesting when they’re styled and airbrushed on the glossy pages of magazines. In person, their averageness falls kind of flat. So being famous will never endear you to me. But if you respect the sanctity of a “please use other door” sign? I may be willing to give you a second glance. Or at least a free plate of flan.

Guest Post from Jozette of Regardez Moi

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*Don’t forget to enter my giveaway from Stacy Cakes! Click here for details. Send me an e-mail letting me know that you’ve posted about my December giveaways on your site and I’ll give you a second chance to win!

Remember my idea about asking everyone that I invited to my virtual dinner party to guest post on my blog? Okay stop laughing about the virtual dinner party nerdiness and listen to what I’m saying. Remember that? No? Well – I thought I’d randomly ask the people from that “guest list” to guest post for me – probably once a month. So far, we’ve heard from Kacy and Anastasia, but got derailed in October when Jozette from Regardez Moi postponed. Twice.

Now I think I’ve given her a hard enough time about this, so I’m just going to be happy that she FINALLY got her loosey goosey act together and sent me the damn guest post already.

Seriously though – I do love Jozette. She funny and quirky and not afraid to be honest. She’s had a tough year. One of those years that makes us look back and say, “how did I do that? I should be dead by now.” But she’s so lovely and deserves a great year to make up for it. So I’m hoping that 2009 will be the year that Jozette “got her groove back” (possibly with the hot young guy from work). She deserves it!

Welcome Jozette!

I am not a mother. Well, a motherfudger, maybe, but I have no children to speak of. So why-oh-why did Kate pick me to guest post on her blog? I have no idea. (It’s because I’m awesome.) But I am more than flattered and happy to oblige. Even though I, um, you know. Bailed on her. Twice. Because I was uh. Busy.

The truth is, I really was busy. And also? I was drained. I didn’t have any idea what to write; what could I possibly say that her blog audience would appreciate? And… I’m really bad with deadlines. (I originally type-o’d ‘dreadlines’ which is so apt.) When I know there’s something due, I completely put it off. Even if it’s something that I would normally look forward to doing. I shut down, fold up. Like the cheap extra table you bring down from the attic only at Thanksgiving. I’m the kiddie table covered in a sticky vinyl tablecloth from the 70s.

I tell myself I’m unreliable (which, I can admit, I tend to be.) Not on purpose. I’m just, you know, emotionally unstable. And sometimes just the slightest bit of pressure can render me utterly useless. Straight to the couch in my crusty old sweatpants with a plate of cheesy refried beans. (Note to the single male readers: pipe down, I know how hot you must think I am right now. Try to keep it in your pants, please. This here is a family blog.)

This post is going nowhere really fast.

Oh, I never introduced myself. Hi. I’m Jozette. I’m the flaky non-committal blogger who loves words but sometimes has difficulty putting them together. A 30-year old emotional roller coaster on the verge of divorce. A real keeper.

Now to the meat of the story: Kate commented on my blog not too long ago and her words have stayed with me.

She said:
“You were one of my first non-mommy blog readers. You’re one of the people I think about when I’m writing and say, ‘I don’t think every poopy diaper needs to be documented. There’s more to me than just that.'”

And that really touched me, you know? Cause I’m all sentimental and sh*t. And that was really nice.

Oh.

Were you expecting something deeper – more eloquent than that? Yea. You’re barking up the wrong tree.

I think my point here, although deeply hidden and camouflaged better than um, you know, an army guy wearing camouflage, is that her comment made me think about how mired we become in our daily existence. How our WHOs often get lost in the WHAT of our lives. How important it is not to lose your WHO. (Who shot who in the what now?)


WHO are we really? WHO the filth am I? That’s the question I asked myself when I read her comment. It’s something I try to figure out on a daily basis. It is partially the catalyst for my blogsistential crises numbers one and two.

Caterpillar: Who are YOU?
Alice: This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
Where was I going with this?

Um….

Oh. I am not a mother. But the majority of blogs I read are written by women who are. I delight in their writing and their honesty about not only their children, but about themselves. Who they are as women. Women who lead completely different lives than me; women who live scattered all over the world. Wildly intelligent, strong, hilarious (to the point of involuntary pants-peeing), take your breath away, wonderful women and mothers whom I worship. Whose words I devour every day. Who teach me about the kind of woman, the kind of person, the kind of mother I would like to someday be. (Oh no. Now I’ve gone and ruined my street cred. Let’s just keep this last paragraph between us, okay?)

So, thank you. Thank you for being an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing your lives and for allowing me to share mine.

Or something.

Now I feel awkward. Like I just had semi-stranger sex and am having difficulty making eye contact. Like I’m sitting on my hands at the edge of bed, biting my lip. Ummm.

You guys are great.

*Slaps you on the ass*

Now hit the showers.

*Jozette is currently on a blogging hiatus – whatever that means. Hopefully she’ll be back soon! You can do your begging in my comments section or e-mail her directly at regardezmoiblog@gmail.com.

Twilight Time

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*Don’t forget to enter my giveaway from Angelina’s Beautiful Cards and Paper Boutique! Click here for details. Send me an e-mail letting me know that you’ve posted about my December giveaways on your site and I’ll give you a second chance to win! This one ends on Sunday – so comment soon!

This is going to be a short Friday Confession. Doing two memes in two days sucked me dry. Too many topics to cover for someone who doesn’t know how to be brief. I’m exhausted.

But I do have to confess that I have finally fallen prey to the Twilight obsession currently sweeping the country. I had heard of the books, and have now seen all of the hype surrounding the movie. And it inevitably sucked me in. The vampires beckoned, and I’ll be damned (yes – that was supposed to be a vampire joke). I couldn’t put Twilight down. I read it in two days.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s the best book I’ve ever read. Far from it. The writing is pretty bad and melodrama is at an all time high – but there is just something about the story… My aunt put it best when she said, “you just want to know what happens next.” It’s true – I had to keep reading.

There were two things about the book that kind of bothered me though. One was an ongoing theme and the other was a specific scene. The theme that tended to get under my skin was the way that Bella acted SO SUPERIOR. I know that she was riddled with teenage angst and dealing with a daily forecast for rain. But really – it’s like she’s SO much better than all of those shallow townies. She fit in much better with the aloof vampires than sickeningly wholesome Todd and Jessica. I also thought her moodiness got a little tedious. Of course, I probably just described myself as a teenager, minus the vampire friends. Maybe that’s why she got on my nerves.

The specific scene that struck me as entirely unbelievable (you know – out of all of the believable scenes in the book) was the beach party. Two large cars full of teenagers arrive at the beach, build a bonfire and….explore tide pools. I don’t know what high school you went to, but in my experience, a group of unsupervised teenagers is just a roundabout way of saying “keg party.” Now I understand that the author is Mormon, and Mormons don’t drink. But she didn’t say anything about her characters being Mormon or religious or abstaining from alcohol in any way. So when Bella walks back to the bonfire and finds her friends “passing around food,” I became skeptical. More like a bong I would think. Anyway – as someone who didn’t drink in high school but did go to all of the parties, I have a very clear memory of what teenagers do unsupervised. And I’m not buying the absence of drugs or alcohol.

In general, I’m an easy audience where an engaging story is involved, so I’m sure I’ll read the rest of the series. I’ll also see the movie as soon as it’s available on Netflix. But if Bella is in college by book four, and goes to frat parties where the brothers pass around “food” to their guests – then I’m officially labeling the series a vampire fairytale.

Famous Last Words II

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I have one other meme to post, thanks to my friend Anastasia from The Gift. This one is fairly straightforward. I just have to share seven random facts about myself and then tag seven other people to do the same. Here are “the rules”:

And here are seven random things about me:

1. I can eat a lot. I mean – like a ridiculous amount of food. I have always been able to eat a lot and have amazed people far and wide with this gluttonous prowess. Okay – so that’s a huge exaggeration. But it’s true that I can eat like a lumberjack and I have raised a few eyebrows on more than one occasion. And my “talent” has only been called into question once. The Tombs in Georgetown has (or had – it’s been a while) this amazing chocolate chip cookie pie. I once boasted to some friends that I could eat the whole pie in one sitting. One particular naysayer named Kevin was having none of it. In the course of the debate, I developed a strategy for accomplishing this feat. I did concede that it would be a challenge – but with some training and preparation, I could definitely do it. The way I saw it, I could expand my stomach by eating as much as possible for a week or two. Then my body would be used to consuming large quantities of food in one sitting. THEN, on the day of the “event,” I would fast. So I would be ravenous by the time I picked up my fork. There would be no time limit on the pie eating – so I could pace myself. I’d have to make sure that I didn’t eat too quickly and make myself feel sick, but I would also have to make sure that I didn’t allow myself to start feeling too full before I was done. It wouldn’t be easy, but I felt pretty confident. Of course I never actually did this. That would be gross.

2. I have a very strong loner streak. I LOVE being by myself. I can spend a whole day out running errands and not say one word to anyone (with the exception of the required pleasantries with retail staff). It takes a lot for me to feel lonely. But at the same time, I have many friends and a very active social life – so most people wouldn’t know that I am such a hermit at heart. My children of course, have put an end to any significant amount of alone time. But I’d like to think that this quality will help me survive the inevitable defection of my children once they become teenagers and prefer not to be seen with me anymore.

3. I have infinite patience for children. Even my own. Which is saying a lot. When it comes to other people’s kids – they can do no wrong. I tend to think bad behavior is funny. Mainly because I know that all kids act up every once in a while and assume that whatever tantrum I’m witnessing isn’t a reflection of the child’s everyday personality. While I have to be a bit less understanding of my own children’s bad behavior, I still don’t let it bother me too much. The good always outweighs the bad, so I just power through whatever unpleasant scene they choose to play out. And it helps that as the director, I do have the option to yell “cut” and throw everyone into their rooms for a time out.

4. The most amazing invention that I’ve ever seen is the digital camera. What I mean by this is that the first time I saw one, I was actually “amazed.” We’ve reached a point in history when true technological breakthroughs aren’t all that accessible for regular joes. Computer chips and wireless technology aren’t something that we can see. And even though I’ve had a first sighting of computers, cell phones, microwaves, etc. in my life, that technology developed slowly. It’s not like we went from telling the operator the number we would like to call to picking up a tiny cell phone. Computers have taken a long time to become so slim and portable. But cameras are something else. They’ve been small for a long time. They’ve had fancy features for a long time. But to be able to take a picture and then look at a screen immediately afterward? I had never seen anything like it before. We really did go from polaroid prints to digital images – and that’s a big leap. It’s not everyday that you see something that makes you open your eyes really wide and say, “oh my god – look at that!” So when it does happen, it’s pretty thrilling.

5. I never recognize famous people. I’ve had many opportunities during the time that I’ve lived in cities, and generally have to be informed by someone else that I just brushed elbows with a celebrity. I have a few good stories about this, but the first time that I didn’t immediately recognize a star happened when I was fifteen. I was in New York with my family and we were doing a little window shopping on Fifth Avenue. While in Barney’s, I saw a woman that looked really familiar. She was tall and had tons of hair, and there was something very glamorous about her. Suddenly it came to me. She was the actress who played Hope on Days of Our Lives. I was a big fan of soap operas at the time and was feeling rather starstruck. I surreptitiously followed “Hope” around trying to decide if it really was her. I even got into the same elevator. And there was no denying it. Those high cheekbones and bold eyebrows were too much of a giveaway. Anyway – I was way too cool to ask for an autograph or try to talk to her, so I just perused the nearby racks while she shopped. It was only after she left that I discovered my mistake. The sales girls were all clumped together talking about her, and as I passed I head one of them say to a newcomer, “did you hear? Booke Shields was just here.” Sigh. Nothing has changed. I’m still hopeless when it comes to this.

6. I went to the Top Gun premiere at the Kennedy Center. I grew up in DC and my father was the creative director for an agency that did some kind of promotional work for the movie. It was very exciting. I was around fourteen at the time, and had never been to a black tie event before. As would be expected, everyone was looking for the star, and I was no exception. I loved Tom Cruise (obviously this was before his days of jumping up and down on talk show couches and berating women for using medication to treat post partum depression). At one point I decided to go up to a balcony to see if I could spot his location in the crowd. As it turns out I had been right next to him! I just didn’t realize it. After that, an up close view was impossible. Cocktails were over and the movie was starting. It was fairly anticlimactic – but it was probably the first time that I had the “well what the hell would I say to him anyway?” conversation in my head. That one you have when you see someone famous and debate whether you should approach them or not.

7. I have a killer idea for a gay club. A theme I mean. A gay MEN’S club I mean (although there could be a gay women’s version as well…I’ll have to give that some thought). Anyway – I had this idea a while ago and actually did run it by a few gay guys that I know. They thought it was genius (remember, I’m an idea person – so this should come as no surprise). Sadly, Chris’ reaction to the topic of my amazing idea for a gay bar ranges from eye rolling to obvious fear that I will say something in public and embarrass him (hi honey!). So I don’t think I’m ever going to get this baby off the ground. And now I suppose you want to know idea. Well – I’m not telling. I can say that I’ll never do anything with it, but at the end of the say, I don’t believe in “never.” So if you have a lot of money to invest in a gay bar that is purely theoretical with no business plan of any kind, let me know.

Now – here are seven people that I’m tagging:

1. Carolyn from Carolyn…Online
2. Heidi from Fancy Feet
3. Nicole from Digs and Adventures of an East Coast Chick Turned Midwest Mom
4. Christy from Fiona Foo
5. Kirsten from The Norwindians
6. Connie from The Young & the Relentless
7. Heidi from Life in Pink

If you’ve already done this one, I apologize. If I mistakenly assumed you already have and didn’t tag you – feel free to be an honorary #8. And if you don’t like memes, don’t worry – I understand and won’t be offended if choose to ignore this completely.

Famous Last Words

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I don’t know if they’re famous – but they have definitely been documented and acknowledged. I have gone on record as not liking memes. But I haven’t had much time to think about blogging this week (damn that day job) and I don’t have the will to dredge up anything in the way of inspiration tonight. So Q&A it is!

The first meme I was tagged for came from my favorite blog commitaphobe, Regardez Moi. She has decided to take a blogging hiatus two times in two weeks. AND postponed a guest post for me oh, mmmm….about….TWICE in two months. But what can I say – she is one of my favorite online friends and I think I’d forgive her pretty much anything. And when she decides to reopen the doors of Regardez Moi (which could happen at any time from three days to 30 days) – I will hold her at gunpoint for that damn guest post. I will not be ignored (name that movie – I’ve quoted it before).

So here is my first real meme:

All About Me

10 years ago: I was 26 years old and hadn’t been dating my now-husband, Chris for even a year yet. I can’t remember that much about what I was doing at this time since it was a blur of going out to dinner at restaurants without kids’ menus and meeting friends out for drinks. Oh right – and shopping at stores that don’t carry both women’s apparel AND dog food. It was like heaven, or Eden. Or a Disney movie.

8 years ago: I was 28 and had just gotten married. I was horrified by how much weight I managed to gain on my two week honeymoon in Spain (I mean – it wasn’t a TWO MONTH honeymoon in Spain). Apparently red wine and cheese aren’t diet food. Who knew! I was also vowing to never fly anywhere on Spanair again. I don’t know what it’s like now, but at the time, I explained it as: “I sat down in my seat, and then someone sat in my lap, and then someone sat in their lap…and so on and so on. Like a Breck commercial with no leg room, 30,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean. When one of us wanted to recline and sleep, we all had to recline and sleep. And I wasn’t all that sleepy. I was too busy eating leftover cookies from my reception.

6 years ago: I was 30! I had been 30 since April though, so I was very worldly and jaded about it. Very “been there, done that.” I didn’t mind turning 30 at all. To me it was like being given a youth pill. Suddenly I was in a brand new context. I was in my “thirties” and I was the youngest thirtysomething around. I was like a baby to the thirties…a novice…an ingénue. I’m telling you – this age thing is all about context. Don’t compare yourself to people ten years younger than you. Compare yourself to people ten years older than you. THAT’S the ticket.

2 years ago: I was 34. Feeling like less of an ingénue, but too busy with my 18 month old son and newborn boy/girl twins to care. I may as well have been 94 at that point. I just wanted to sleep. I was on maternity leave and tried to follow the “sleep when the baby sleeps” rule. But guess what? Twins don’t sleep at the same time. So I generally looked like something from one of those Night of the Living Dead movies. And I barely ever left the house, unless I needed to go to Babies R Us. Which actually sounds like the beginnings of a plot for a horror movie – so I was already halfway there. But seriously – newborn twins! It was a magical time.

Five yummy things:
1. Egg nog lattes from Starbucks. I LOVE egg nog – could drink a gallon of it. Grossed out? Good – more for me.
2. Italian ricotta cookies with sugar frosting. I make them every holiday season.
3. Chocolate and heath bar blizzards from Dairy Queen.
4. Honey mustard anything (sandwich spread, salad dressing…anything – I’ll eat it with a spoon).
5. Red wine

Five songs I know by heart [that aren’t on any of my kids’ DVDs]:
1. Blue Bayou by Linda Ronstadt
2. Begin the Beguine (I prefer the Ella Fitzgerald version though, and couldn’t find a link to anything that does it justice. No even to close. So just buy an Ella CD.)
3. Best of my Love AND Desperado (Eagles) – there are more, but those are the ones that I will sing first.
4. September (Earth Wind and Fire) – actually I LOVE Earth Wind and Fire, but this is the only one that I know by heart
5. Beyond the Sea (Bobby Darin)
*I know my answers to this category sound really lame (not ONE song from the past five years) – but I was trying to be honest about knowing all the words. And these were the first five that came to mind.

Five places I would like to escape to [there are TOO MANY – so I’m listing five places where Chris and I have had great vacations]:
1. Spain of course! Andalucia with a long stay in Seville.
2. Quebec City
3. Italy (Anywhere really – but we were only in the Milan area together and we had a lovely weekend in Stressa.)
4. Iceland. No seriously – have you ever been there in March? It’s so cold that pretty much anywhere you go is amazing – if only for the reason that you are just thanking god that you’re not outside anymore. Freezing cold aside, Reykjavik was a fun city and we toured the surrounding area as well (lots of cool Viking history and GEYSERS! Who doesn’t love geysers?) And we went to the Blue Lagoon on our way to the airport. There is nothing like sitting in a hot spring while it’s snowing and people in parkas are walking around. Seems I have a lot to say about Iceland… Either I really loved it or feel defensive about my choice to include it in this list…
5. Rehoboth Beach, DE – but only if my friend Nancy comes with me.
6. BONUS: How could I leave out London – after I just wrote about our fine dining experiences there? I’ve never had a bad time in London (in all of the 2.5 times that I’ve been there I mean). Who wouldn’t love a place where even small children use words like “lovely” and “brilliant?”

Five things I would never wear:
1. Bangs or feathers in my hair (Does hair count?)
2. Boyfriend jeans – especially if they’re pegged (Famous last words again?)
3. Mother/daughter outfits
4. Purple
5. piercings that aren’t in my ears (Ouch! My various body parts hurt just thinking about it.)

Five favorite TV shows:
1. Lost
2. Heroes
(I know – nerd alert!)
3. Brothers and Sisters
4. Ugly Betty
5. Grey’s Anatomy
*I’m very mainstream when it comes to TV. And really girly when I think about it. My old favorites have included Designing Women, Friends, Felicity, Gilmore Girls and Sex & the City. I am on estrogen overdrive when it comes to TV.

Five things I enjoy doing:
1. Reading
2. Traveling (Even the actual travel part – I can read on a plane and listen to a book on tape in the car.)
3. Going out to dinner with my husband (Not that we’ve done that in like three years.)
4. Writing
5. Shopping (This sounds kind of obvious – but I really do love shopping. I’ve never had a runner’s high in my life. But a shopping high? Absolutely.)

Five Favorite toys:
1. Laptop
2. iPod
3. Jewelry and eveningwear (What – you don’t play dress up?)
4. Us Weekly
Okay I’m having a hard time with this one. I don’t really like toys or games. I’m just not a very playful person.

Five people who I am tagging to fill this out:
1. Anastasia at The Gift (to get her back for tagging me on the SECOND meme that I have to do
2. Marinka at Motherhood in NYC
3. Baking with Plath
4. Cyndy at Photocynthesis
5. Jessie at The Lucky Stone

That was a long meme! I’ll have to get to the second one tomorrow. And if you’re interested in doing this one? I tag you as honorary #6.

Do You Remember Redneck Neighbor?

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*Don’t forget to enter my giveaway from Angelina’s Beautiful Cards and Paper Boutique! Click here for details. Send me an e-mail letting me know that you’ve posted about my December giveaways on your site and I’ll give you a second chance to win!

Years ago, I came across a website that in retrospect, I now recognize as a blog. But back in 2002ish I didn’t know what blogs were. So I just thought of it as a website devoted to the various bizarre home projects of the blogger’s “redneck” next door neighbor.

Here are some highlights:

First, let me say that my redneck neighbor is not destitute or under-privileged. The guy owns a business, drives VERY nice new cars, he just doesn’t care about his house. In order to protect the ignorant, we’ll call him John Doe # 8 or JD8 for short.

October 1997 – They are here!

Well, it should have been a sign of things to come but my neighbors move into their brand new house. Inventory: 1 artificial Christmas tree, clothes, stereo system, TV, no furniture). The Christmas tree is nicely decorated (remember, it’s October). We can tell what the tree looks like because the windows have no miniblinds so at night, you can see right into the house as you drive up. They have also decided to wrap some strands of Christmas lights around their front porch railing. I guess there’s no electric outlet nearby because they never turn these lights on.

The Structure

In case you have not noticed by now, JD8’s favorite hobby is to build things poorly. His next project is yet unnamed. All my friends call it the chicken coop. There are several theories as to what this building really is. The theories include: chicken coop, two-story deck, two-story chicken coop, work shop, shed, etc. It would be easier for you to see it [link to picture] than for me to describe it. Once thing is certain, it is HUGE. Unfortunately for JD8, I called the city and he has been asked by the fine folks at “code enforcement” to stop building whatever that is. He needs to get a building permit. Luckily for the neighborhood, that thing will not meet building code regardless of what it is.

Neighborhood thugs

In case you don’t remember, long ago, JD8 had placed a basketball goal right outside our bedroom window. Unfortunately for JD8, some neighborhood thugs put a couple bricks through the back-board. Unfortunately for me, the same bricks also took a chunk off the side of my house.

JD8 decides to move the basketball goal to the curb to be picked up by our city’s waste disposal specialists (garbage men). Well, from the look of JD8’s house, the garbage men aren’t sure if it’s really garbage so they never pick it up. The broken basketball goal sits by the curb for several months when JD8 decides to put it back on his driveway. He does not use it again. Here is a picture [link to picture] of the basketball goal. See the Christmas lights in the background? This picture was taken in the summer.

A few years later, I tried to pull up the site to forward the link on to a friend – only to find that he had decided to pull it from the web. Maybe the redneck neighbor discovered the site? There were no details provided about the decision, but I’m sure that many cyber tears were shed over it.

You are most likely asking yourself how I was able to include these samples of the hilarity that was “Redneck Neighbor.” I can do it because I FOUND IT AGAIN! It’s not the site I remember, so it must be a different version – one that the blogger never got around to deleting or destroying or whatever it is you do to make a blog disappear (having never done it before, I don’t know the lingo). Anyway – pretty much everything I remember is there, so I’m thrilled. And in the spirit of the season of giving… I give you…the gift…of Redneck Neighbor. No thank you notes required – seriously, I just like to make people happy.

Note: If you are my mom, and didn’t realize that “I FOUND IT AGAIN!” was a link to the website, here is that link: http://www.joespc.com/carlos/redneck.htm. Love you mom!

UPDATE (1/5/09): Chuck from Beyond the Cheddar Curtain commented with the following:

I read somewhere that Carlos’ neighbor eventually sold his house and moved, and Carlos later did the same thing himself, so he took the site down, but someone archived his old entries, which he is cool with.

I believe his neighbor stopped acting quite so rednecky after a while (perhaps the police visits had something to do with this) but I’m not sure.

Then he e-mailed me the link: http://fuzzycats.com/redneck.htm. Thanks Chuck!

"What Angelina did was very uncool."

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This is THE quote that Vogue selected to accompany the December cover picture of Jennifer Aniston in a glamorous Narciso Rodriguez gown. They linked this sophisticated look to a statement about betrayal that only a teenager would make. What’s up Vogue? Are you TRYING to make her look ridiculous? I saw the same statement on the cover of Life & Style and thought nothing of it. But really – Vogue?

So yeah – that’s my Friday Confession for this week. I was astounded when I saw that cover, I gave thought to it and I have opinions. I admit it. I care.

I care because I’ve always liked Jennifer Aniston. Say what you want – but I think she’s funny. I loved her in Friends (okay – so I loved everyone in Friends – I was probably the only person with a television that would have happily watched ten more seasons of the show). And then suddenly, she was in movies – and she was good. Sure, she was in some bombs, but I never thought she was bad in them. And she wasn’t just funny in these films. She’s probably best appreciated in The Good Girl, but I thought she gave very poignant performances in Rock Star and Friends with Money.

Now I know that acting talent doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence – but when someone has the ability to be ironic in their acting…well, they know how to appreciate irony. And anyone with a sense of irony would have to guffaw at the idea of her official statement on Angelina Jolie’s behavior regarding her marriage to and divorce from Brad Pitt as, “What Angelina did was very uncool.” It’s ludicrous!

If I were Jennifer Aniston, I would be mortified, humiliated and furious. I think that even if I were the man who wrote the article, I would be horrified. I read the article (of course I did, and I even rounded out my research by reading a related article in Us Weekly – because I’m nothing if I’m not thorough). That one statement wasn’t even a direct quote. It sounds like Jennifer is saying that Angelina making a move on her husband while they filmed Mr. & Mrs. Smith “was very uncool.” When in fact, she was talking about details that Angelina revealed in a Vogue article two years ago. What Jennifer Aniston really said was, “that stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work everyday? That was really uncool.”

Sounds to me like an off hand remark that anyone would make. Not her official statement on the Jolie-Pitt relationship! As a celebrity (especially an A list celebrity), everything she says can be used as a quote. But at least get the quote right, whoever is responsible for the cover of Vogue!

See? It’s embarrassing. I’m actually worked up about this. But I can’t help it. I’ve always thought of Vogue as a fashion magazine that reports on trends and “people of the moment.” I would never put it on the level of Life & Style – or even my beloved Us Weekly. Those are tabloids. They are People without the human interest stories. Crap is expected of them. But one would expect Vogue to at the very least, dress up its crap in fine feathers (fine fashion even). And “what Angelina did was very uncool” making the cover does not fit the bill. In fact, I thought it was very uncool. At the very least, it’s a sad commentary on what legitimate magazines have to do to get people to buy them now.

Well – it’s all just a reminder that this Thanksgiving weekend, I can appreciate my anonymity. The fact that no one cares that I still get teenager acne and that my laugh lines and crows feet are actually starting to meet. No one cares if I say something stupid because it’s lost in memory (or in cyberspace) and not plastered on the covers of national magazines. Being Jennifer Aniston doesn’t sound so appealing when things like this happen, and I feel badly for her – even if I don’t know her. I guess all that stuff about money and fame not buying happiness really is true. Although, I already knew that. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m SO glad that I’m not an A list celebrity (insert ironic guffaw here).

UPDATE: Now head over to The Gift to hear my friend Anastasia’s “counterpoint.”

Farewell to the Mullet

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Mullet: A mullet is a hairstyle that is short in the front, top, and sides, but long in the back. The hairstyle was popular from the early 1980s to the early 1990s. Mullets have been worn by males and females. The mullet is distinct from the rattail, which consists of a long, narrow “tail” of hair growing from the back of the head. Mullets also vary in length from side to side and do not necessarily share a single, consistent length.

As I have mentioned on many an occasion, my daughter, Eleanor is follicley challenged. It is only now, at age two, that she has FINALLY started to grow some hair already.

She’s always had very fine blond hair, and I’m sure that if she was my only child, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But she is a twin. And her brother George has had a full head of hair from birth.

Ah – all of that explaining to people that he is not her older brother…”no, she’s not younger – just bald.” Thank god those days are over. As are the days of men seeing me with the twins in the stroller and Oliver at my side, and saying, “three boys – nice work!” (Incidentally – Eleanor was usually wearing pink or leopard print – or something else that no self respecting one year old boy would be caught dead in – but whatever.)


Even as babies – George was able to wear a barrette. Eleanor? Not so much. That one above is literally attached to all three of her hairs. And why would we have a picture that involved George wearing a barrette? I have two words for you: mean grandma.

Unfortunately – this new growth pattern just wasn’t very attractive. Since she always had some hair on the back of her head (I know – cute right?), that pre-existing hair has continued to grow at the same rate as the new hair on top of her head. The result? A bizarre hairstyle alarmingly reminiscent of the mullet.


It’s a bit dark – but truly displays her mullet to best effect.

I’ve never had a mullet or anything resembling one. In general, I’ve had different variations of the same hair style since high school. Albeit, with a few blunders such as perms and fringe bangs thrown in for future blackmail pictures – but never a mullet. No one in my family or Chris’ family has ever had a mullet. And I’ll be damned if my own daughter will be known as the neighborhood toddler with a mullet.

So of course, that means that the day we have been waiting for – for so long (really, really long) – had finally come. Eleanor’s first haircut!

Here are some “before” pictures:


So serious.


I told you it was bizarre.

Then during:


No tears. Pretty impressive considering that her brothers always cry and flail.


The back is now the same length as the sides.


And a blow dry no less! The last time she was in a stylist’s chair with a hair drier over her, she was in my stomach and my water was breaking (ah – memories).

And when it was over:


She got to pick out a barrette. But it was too big for her skinny little hairs. Maybe next year.


A lollipop made up for the barrette disappointment. (For me, I mean. She could have cared less.)

Sorry I don’t have any good “after” shots of the back of her head. She wouldn’t let me take any. Scenes from my future as the mother of a teenage girl: “Mom – stop it! You’re so embarrassing.”

I’m so proud of my mullet-less little girl. She didn’t cry or flail and I didn’t leave covered in toddler hair and snot. Maybe I should bring the boys next time so they can watch her work. My little girl took it like a man (a man WITHOUT a mullet).

Guest Post from Gwen Papineau, Runner of Marathons

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At my last job, I met one of my all time favorite people. Gwen is about ten years younger than me and reminded me so much of my whirlwind of a post college social life. Everyone that meets Gwen falls madly in love with her, and I am no exception.

And now she’s gone and made herself even MORE of a superstar. She lost well over 100 lbs. AND just ran the Marine Corps Marathon. She is a true inspiration – and not just for people who want to lose weight or run a marathon. She reminds me that anything is possible if you set your mind to it.

Part one of her story can be found over at Amy in Ohio. It covers the motivation to lose weight and then to run the marathon. The rest picks up here. I strongly suggest starting with part one since it makes part two even more of a triumph. She jokes about being on the cover of People – but I don’t see why not! If you have any contacts there – tell them about Gwen.

(Enlarge the above photo to see just how far she’s come!)

As I told you before, I have an addictive personality. After experiencing the feeling of crossing that first finish line, I was totally addicted to races. Note I said races. I am not always addicted to running. There are days when it is too cold, too hot, I’m too this too that, too, too, TOO! But there are few things that have made me feel as good as crossing a finish line. I knew the Army Ten Miler was just the beginning. It was my gateway drug. Soon I needed more and bigger races. Suddenly that notion of crossing the finish line at Marine Corps came flooding back. There was no longer the question of how, but only when.

But I was smart about it. Or rather cautious. Strategic maybe. After the Army Ten Miler, I immediately started signing up for more races. I thought about running Marine Corp in 2007, but decided I wanted to get more races under my belt and lose more weight before I took my turn climbing that last .2 up to Iwo Jima. I also envisioned the marathon as my weight loss victory dance. I thought that if I waited until 2008, I would be a svelte 153ish pounds and it would be the crowning achievement in my life changing journey. I would have lost all of my weight and be a marathoning goddess. I would grace the cover of People magazine for one of their weight loss issues. I had grand plans! So I kept building up my distances, ran a couple of half marathons and prepared for the marathon in 2008.

I signed up to train with Team in Training knowing that although I had great success training on my own for previous races, I was going to need a little more support for the big show. I learned at the first meeting that TNT was an amazing program that trained people like me for endurance events while raising money for cause I was personally tied to, leukemia and lymphoma. I was the girl crying in the information meeting. Crying because I knew I was going to run in memory of my grandfather who battled lymphoma, but also because I was going to run for myself and everything that I had battled in my journey.

Sometimes plans change. Don’t worry! You already know that I ran the marathon and I pretty much kick ass at life! BUT, I didn’t end up on the cover of People (yet) and I didn’t run my first marathon at 153-ish pounds. In fact – I gained weight training for the marathon. That really messes with a Weight Watcher’s head! But it’s something that I have accepted and am trying to work off now. I know I can do it! I’ve proved that much to myself by now. It just takes time and dedication.

Training for the marathon has given me even more insight into my weight loss journey and my goals. I might never weigh 153 pounds. And that’s okay! The steps I have taken to make my life better are incredible. It has been a battle to get below 190 and stay there. The way I see it, maybe I will be 175 someday and that will be perfect. I’m so beyond dieting – this is my life. Eating well and running races – that’s what I do, it’s who I am, it’s how I live. Healthy habits and a love for activity are things I want to pass on to my children (someday). In fact, now I tell my boyfriend (fairytale time: princess lost a little weight and met Prince Charming, go ahead, swoon, I’ll wait) that I simply want to be a MILF when I grow up. A hot mom that my kids can be proud of and learn from. I want to be a marathoner mom. What? You didn’t think I was going to let that be my only marathon did you? The cover of People magazine is still out there! (Originally I thought I would take a few years off from the full marathon, but that addiction thing…I need another finish line now! I can’t wait three years for my next fix!) But you know what else I will impart to my kids someday – when I’m a MILF who drives a Range Rover to dance class and soccer practice and Harris Teeter – that even when I was at my heaviest, I LOVED life and WHO I was. I hope to give them all of my self esteem and confidence and ensure that they know how special they are, regardless of how short, tall, skinny, chubby, they may be. The mirror can reflect certain images to you and the scale can spit out some data, but neither will ever tell you how much you are loved for being yourself. I’m so lucky to have had that support from my family, friends and myself.

I’ll never start Weight Watchers over again. There is immense beauty and NO pain in that statement. Just as in my running, I will continue to improve my form, struggle with commitment, vary my intensity and face outside challenges like inclement weather, injuries and cupcakes. I know I have accomplished amazing feats. I am so proud of having lost my weight in a healthy way and while I still have my food demons, I can live with them. One day a week. I trained for a marathon and finished. Perhaps you didn’t hear me, I RAN A MARATHON! After my marathon I tried to find disappointment in my slower-than-expected time of 6:10:44. But I couldn’t. Trust me when I say I REALLY looked in every nook and cranny. And I can’t find disappointment in my weight loss journey either.

It’s a reality that I will never be as skinny or fast as some people. Someday, I hope to run a marathon at 175 pounds and finish that marathon in under 5:30:00. That’s my goal. But if I weighed 176 and finished in 5:31:00, that would be okay too. Honestly, if I never lost another pound or ran another marathon, I would still be so proud of who Gwen is – and that is the most amazing accomplishment I have. Now if only I could find a shadow box big enough to hold that on a wall.


Gwen’s blog about training for the marathon:
gwenmarieruns.typepad.com/tntmcm
Gwen’s blog about the weight loss:
shrinkinggwen.blogspot.com

Love at Every Sight

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For once, I’m going to try to have a Materialistic Monday that includes more pictures than words. Let’s see if I can do it.

I’m in love with the Anthropologie catalog that arrived in the mail a couple of weeks ago. I usually get rid of catalogs once I’ve had a chance to look at them, but I just can’t bring myself to let this one go.

If I had unlimited funds, I could easily outfit myself for every season using Anthropologie finds alone. The vintage inspired styles allow for a much longer closet life. I mean vintage can’t exactly “get old” right? It’s supposed to look old – that’s the point.

My current favorites include the Fire’s Breath Dress in embroidered cotton poplin with silk habotai trim (incidentally – I hadn’t heard of habotai before – I’m just quoting from the catalog):

Elegant – no? And perfect for leaning against monochromatic kitchen backdrops.

I also love this simple Greying Oak Blouse in cotton voile with kimono sleeves:

It looks like it would be flattering on anyone – accentuating waistlines for the fuller of figure and creating curves for the willowy types (and suiting everything in between). It could also be dressed both up and down, which automatically adds outfit options to your wardrobe.

For “fancy” I’d go for this charming little number below:

The Bared Branches Dress in black and cream silk twill is something I could have worn to an event ten years ago. And I would imagine that I’d still be able to wear it ten years from now. Now THAT’S an investment dress.

Next up, one of the loveliest neckline and sleeves combinations I’ve ever seen:

This blouse (The Silent Constellation Blouse) of embroidered nude nylon is a favorite based on the cut and style. I’d have to see it in person since nylon can sometimes look cheap. I’m guessing that it wouldn’t look cheap – but the tulip appliqués are a bit much. The extra embellishments don’t seem necessary. As Tim Gunn would say, “I find them puzzling.”

Finally, I keep coming back to this dress of muted aqua silk:

The Tawny Garden Dress harkens back (people say “harkens back” – right?) to old Hollywood with the natural waist and gathered skirt. Another look that would suit both curvy and boyish body types. Pale gold embroidery provides subtle yet striking detail, and the blossom appliqués don’t puzzle me.

The only major point upon which Anthropologie and I don’t see eye is their choice of contemporary furniture for their home furnishings layouts. See anything familiar?

Ack! It’s “the chair.” I can’t get away from it. Ah well – at least it’s hidden in the corner.

So how did I do? Maybe a tad more description and personal commentary than necessary… But all in all, I think I displayed unusual restraint in the word count department. No promises for the future of course. But I’ll do my best.